She Sells Sea Shells

Feilding Star, Volume IX, Issue 142, 30 June 1888, Page 3

She Sells Sea Shells

Old Grumble on Politics, and thm expresses his Qratitu.de to the Editor. What is this ? Biuce going to bring in a BiU to tax all bachelors. Mrs Grumble, this is getting serious ; that young spark whom I refused our Lucy to, will he calling on me to pay his tax, which I shall in honor be bound to do for compelling him to remain single against his will. Why! I may have half a dozen young men's taxes to pay, or else accept every jackanapes who comes as a suitor for our girls. To tho deuce with this Bruce ! Because his great grand father led bonny Scots, is he to bleed such as Old Grumble ? He may think so; but Old Grumble won't be bled by him ! Depend upon it, my dear, he is some old. bachelor in love with a girl whose father objects to the suit, and he is trying coercion upon the old man. Now Zealand not represented at the Conference upon the Chinese question? "No necessity, my dear, as the new tariff is calculated to entirely meet that difficulty. The heavy duty put upon rice is expected to effectually prohibit the Chinese from coming, and that they in common with the people of other countries, will shun New Zealand on account of the dearness of all the necessaries of life. No ! the only strangers we are likely to have come to our shores now will be some Malay who has run a-muck. But a word to you now, Mr Editor. That bit of yours about "sea shells," 1 1 tried to recite it the other evening evening at a temperance meeting, when I was unanimously voted "drunk," and heavy hands were laid On me to throw me out, until I induced the Chairman to sprain his tongue in endeavoring to say it. At the indignity I suffered a deadly desire to avenge myself upon you stole bver me, but since then my feelings have all changed ; my heart warms towards you ; gratitude bursts out at every pore ; and I fervently say, may Heaven bless you. You have silenced my mother-in-law ; that .paragraph of yours has caused her to have lock-jaw, and quiet now reigns supreme in the home of Old Gbumble.