Plain but Virtuous

Feilding Star, Volume VI, Issue 25, 12 August 1884, Page 3

Plain but Virtuous

Mark Twain says : — " I g«t in the cars and took a seat in juxtaposition to a female. That female's face was a perfect insurance compariy — it insured her against ever getting married to anybody but a blind man. Her mouth looked like a crack in a dried lemon, and there was do more expression in her face than there is in a cup of cold custard. She appeared as though she had been through one famine and haa got about two thirds through another. She was old enough to be great-grandmother to Mary that bad a little lamb. She was chewing prize pop-corn, and carried a yellow ruse, while a bandbox and a cotton umbrella nestled sweetly by her side. 1 couldn't tell whether she was on a mission of charity or going out west to start, a saw-mill. I was full of curiosity to hear her speak, so I said : " The exigencies of the times require great circumspection in a person who is travelling." Says she * What?" "The orb of the day shines resplendent in the vault above." She hitched round uneasy-like, then she railed her umbrella and said : — " I don't want any of your saas —^et outl" And I got out.