DISTRICT NEWS.

Franklin Times, Volume 9, Issue 690, 6 December 1921, Page 5

DISTRICT NEWS.

THINGS WE WOULD LIKE TO KNOW AT FUKE EAST. What is sadder than a man who lost his last friend?—A man who works for his board and loses his appetite. Multi-mlliions: “Is your son home from college? Well Thye: “I presume so. I haven’t seen my ear for a week.” “I like to take a Turkish bath, but I haven’t the price.” “Don’t spend money. Just step into the ’phone booth and wait unfcill central gets your number.” Why the Xmas Number will be as good as a watch. Because everyone will have their own Times. What the bull was like that was soldfor 1/2 at the Bombay bazaar, and if it is time that they are going to harrow the paddocks around Bombay in search o the now lost bull.

Who participated in the plum raid on a certain Puke East orchard last Sunday? And if they found it a, pretty hot job lumping the spoil home.

Paddy : “Shine your, boots, sir ? Innoocent Paddy: “Indade you may, sorr.” Then (leaving the shoe-black unpaid) : “Indade, an’ the bhoys are very clane and koind in this part of the world.” • VERY CLOUDY CLOIJD. William Lyon Phelps, of the English chair at Yale, has added a, new mixed metaphor to his large and is from one of the novels of W. L. George. The cloud that tried te stab their happiness was only a false rumour, whose bitter taste could not splinter the radiance nor dim the effervesence of their joy. INTERNATIONAL DIET. Two Puke East farmers turned punters, and went into a restaurant in Puke he other day and said o the waiter. “We want Turkey with Greece.” The waiter replied: “Sorry, sirs, but we can’t Servia.” “Well, then, get the Bosphorous.” The boss came in and heard their order, and then said: “I don’t want to Russia, built you can’t Rumania.” So the two former went away Hungary . Mankind may be divided into two classes. Those who like Pukekohe, and those who don’t. Both go there.

PAERATA. ,

An event which proved as yet the most successful of its kind held in the district, took place on Saturday everting last. This was the much discussed return ball given by the ladies of the district to the returned soldiers. An energetic committee of ladies had, been busy during the previous fortnight arranging the details in connection with the evening. The building in which) the event took place was profusely decorated with greenery and coloured paper streamers, while here and there among the fernery were bunches of arum lillies and clematis. Facing the entrance to the building the Returned Soldiers’ Badge, which was a feature of the returned men’s eveningl: was again in evidence, while immediately beneath was the word “Welcome,” worked in pink roses on a white ground. Small Union Jacks hung around the walls also showed up to advantage. The musical portion of the evening’s entertainment was the most perfect yet held! in the district. A concert party, comprising Messifs Jones, Hume, Heyworth, Cannell, Hubbard, Blandford, Oldham, who had journeyed down from Pukekohe, and Misses Alice Stewart and Polly Mitchell, of Paerata, were responsible for the excellent programme provided. At the conclusion of the concert programme a very dainty supper was handed! around, which, needless to say was done full justice. After; supper the floor was speedily cleared, and thie company participated in d'ancing for the remainder of the evening. Mrs Yates, as joint secretary, thanked the members who contributed items during the course of the evening. Mr Al'derton, on behalf of the returned soldiers, thanked the ladies and those responsible for /the excellent evening’s entertainment, and drew the company’s attention to the fact that a hall would shortly be available in the district. Before bringing (the evening to a close the company all joined in singing “Auld Lang Syne.” The ladies are to be congratulated in bringing the evening to such a successful issue.n

MANUREWA. ROSE FAIR. A very successful sale of work in aid of a Parish Hall and Sunday School in connection with St. Luke’s Anglican Church was held in the Picture Theatre on 23rd and 24th November. The hall was beaut *J y decorated with rose and lycopodium festooner"/ kindly lent by St. Matthews’ Church, Aucklnad. The Rev. Grant Cowern, in a few well-chosen words, pointed out the urgent need of a Sunday School building ini connection with the education of the children, and then set the ball rolling by declaring the sale of work open. The well-laden stalls were presided over as follows :—Produce, Mr and Mrs Wilson; sweets, Misses T. and K. Whitburn E. Gray and L. Lupton ; flowers, Mrs Reid Clark, and. Mrs Lawrence; fnacy, Mrs Loins and Mrs Lowther; cake, Misses N. Gray and B. Smith; plain sewing, Mrs' Whitburn and Mrs Burbush; refresment, Mrs Brinsmead, assisted bv a busy band of willing workers. The great, success of the Fair is evidenced by the fact that the nett proceeds exceeded £165. *

WAIAU PA. The district is moving forward steadily, and never looked in better heart than it does to-day. Much satisfaction ,ijs expressed, at the way the •Comfy Council has rolled the roads. A i -the steady rate of progress it will not be long before the main roads around Will alll be n good condition. A new tennis club has been formed, and a new court has just been put down, and an excellent season's sport is anticipated. In addition, a court has been formed for the school children, so that they, too, will have an outlet for 'their activities. Good crops of hay and oats are forthcoming, and there has been a plentiful supply of grass so far this season. A PROGRESSIVE LEAGUE. A healthy sign in the district is the formation of a Progressive League, which will soon get busy with an extensive programme for the betterment of conditions generally. At present it has before it the very urgent and necessary reformation of the mail service. A good' deal of mail matter is sent out of the district by vari)ous carriers instead of gong through the local post office. This weakens the claim for a daily service. At present a letter posted n Waiau Pa does not leave till 9.30 a.m., and arrives at Patumahoe after the mail' has left for Pukekohe, thus it lays a whole dlay in Patumahoe. The idea )>s that the mail should leave Waiau Pa early enough to catch the mail leaving Patumahoe on the same day, so that it could be carred right through. The ; Progressive League now nas the matter in hand, and will no doubt make representation in the right quarters.