The Evening Star TUESDAY, OCTOBER 19, 1875.

Evening Star, Issue 3947, 19 October 1875, Page 2

The Evening Star TUESDAY, OCTOBER 19, 1875.

There Ims been a succession of amusements in 1 Uinedin lor some time past. We have Imd ventriloquists, concerts, ami spelling bees, in addition to the regular theatrical performances and the “ stars ” who have favored ns with their presence. Amusing as all these have been after their own fashions, they are about to be thrown into the shade by the exhibition that is in preparation, and notice of the approach of which was received last night by telegraph. It appears now to be certain that the funeral, obsequies of Provincialism are to be celebrated in Dunedin, and that the presiding priests are to he four dead Superintendents, assisted by a dead Provincial Secretary and a dead Provincial Solicitor. The committee of gentlemen appointed to make arrangements for the exhibition of these ghostly visitors have, we trust, prepared a suitable programme. If not, the following suggestions by an ingenious coi respondent may find acceptance with them. His first anxiety was to decide upon the title to be given to this spiritualistic reunion, and, after much consideration, lie decided that the little three should be named “The Hatchet Buried: or the Dead Superintendents.” Anxious, however, to avoid the curse Cassandua pronounced upon Talthybius An evil fate attends thy obsequies, Thy funeral rites shall be performed h v night

he proposes that the proceedings shall commence with the do wn of the day on which the illustrious four may he expected ; and that it he observed as a solemn fast, during which those who intend partaking of the ten shilling ft-d may prepare themselves (0 do fdl justice to it. To add to the solemni'v of the spectacle, it. is proposed tint the forty-four Provincial Councillors shall assemble for the last time with their heads shorn in token of humikatiou • and that they, headed by the defunct Dquity-Superintendo.nt, shall meet the visitors, who are expected to bring the dead clauses of the Const! Uition Act enclosed in a cheap coffin in accordance with the regulations of the Funeral Reform Association. On arrival at the railway station a procession should be formed, and the coffin huvi-m been placed on a dray should be coo* veyed to the Provincial Council Chamber ami placed on the Speaker’s do iheing followed in solemn silence by those w-nose eloquence once caused the walls to ring, but who have now become “ mute inglorious Miltons ” of whom it will then bo said— ’

“ Sluw'y and sadly laid it down.” Waving thus fulfill, M the first part of their solemn duty, they will retire, until evening, wibeu the more imposing and interesting ceremony is to be performed. To indicate the sympathy ot tllc of Dunedin with the movement, the Mayor is to be asked 1.0 proclaim a “ gemination,” which is to be achieved by the lantern of every

gas light under Civic control and every hotel lamp being coated with lamp black, so as to cast a dull and sombre aspect upon the benighted City. The funereal feast should be held in the Provincial Council Chamber, to| the people’s gallery of which admittance should be free, that thn © who cannot (ford ten shillings may share in the howling of sorrow that is anticipated to gush forth when the tale of constitutional murder is unfolded by successive speakers. The Council Chamber would be appropriately draped with yellow, as it is calculated to cast a jaundiced glare over the speakers and guests, very much in accordance with the stylo of oratory that is expected to be indulged in. All being ready—the dead Superintendents and the shorn Council being seated and ready to eat, the Chairman should give out the words of an anthem— Behold ! how beautiful a thing it is for brethren to dwell together in unity. This should be sung to one of Moody and Sankey’s tunes if it can be made to lit. If not, Dr Watts altered to suit the occasion might do, and he might substitute—

Oh ! what a beauteous sight to see, How these ex-.Supcra do agree ! Divided once, the faction fight Has led them oddly to unite, Disraeli the elder, in his “ Cuiiosities of Literature,” tells of ingenious actors who on the mere outline of a plot can found an appropriate dialogue ; and as nothing can well be more tedious than a repetition of those long harangues by which the battle of Provincialism has been fought, our friend proposes that the speeches shall be more of a retrospective character, detailing especially the blessings of Provincialism and how it. worked for the benefit of the Colony. He is unwilling to do more than hint that Sir George Grey could tell how Auckland has prospered under its genial sway. How its gaols, lunatic asylums, educational establishments, et id genus omne , have flourished ; how contented and happy the people are to pay the education rate ; and how independent they have felt themselves of all Southern help. Especially, he could say, how they will approve of a measure that has secured their land funds to Canterbury and Otago. Mr Fitzherbert can tell how he drove the first nail into the coffin of Provincialism, when he acted as agent under the Consolidation of Loans Act; and how he has managed from time to time to squeeze handsome little bonuses from the iron grasp of the General Government for the benefit of Wellington, with the aid of his redoubtable squire, Mr Bunny. Mr Macandkew could tell a tale about justice to Otago when delegated powers were withheld by the Governor, and of Buperintendental difficulties when his Provincial Secretary and Council proved so refractory and adverse to him, that he had to petition the Governor to dissolve them and pi’oceed to a new election. But the chief treat of the eveniug is to be the skinning of Sir Julius Vogel. This may be safely entrusted to Mr Reid and Mr Stout, both of whom, in addition to a process they can enter upon co7i amove , and perform with skill, may also appropriately inform the meeting of the great love and admiration with which- they have ever regarded Mr Macandrew. Of course, every contingency cannot be provided for. It will be impossible at one feed to tell the evil done by the Public Works and Immigration policy, so stoutly opposed by Mr Reid on his candidature for the Snperiutendency, and sneered at by Mr Stout on every suitable occasion in years past. The evidence is before every one in the increased value of property, by which numbers have been enriched they know not how, and others are becoming rich through no efforts of their own. This must be an evil, “ for it is easier for a camel,” &c.—wo need not finish the quotation. Wojhmist not omit one part of the performance namely, dissecting Mr Reynolds and MiWales-— the first of whom, notwithstanding his long-continued services and the good he has effected for his constituents, is found out by the minority of fifteen or twenty to be no better than he should be. Much more our correspondent suggests, but we think the dead Superintendents bate enough marked out for them. The proceedings should be brought to a close by singing, by the defunct Council, the following verse to the tunc of “ The Dead March in Saul,” as arranged by Curwen What is fame? Tis but a vapor; Moon it vanishes away ; Pro viiiuiaiism’s a burut-out tap r. None regret has had its day. Honorariums no more, Tempt us (,’ouneillors to sour. Chorus by the Company—Honorariums no more, Tempt ex-Conn dllora to soar. / [Exeunt. ]