BOFFIN'S AUTOMATON SHIPCAULKER.

Evening Star, Issue 3918, 14 September 1875, Page 3

BOFFIN'S AUTOMATON SHIPCAULKER.

and lie surprised us by whispering in our ear that " he had done it." " Done what V We put the ready question immediately. " Greatest wonder of the age. Come up and see it to-night. Only a few friend?, invited—all scientific men. Do not fail." We promised ; therefore we went. On our arrival we saw that several scientific individuals had already assembled. (This is as much as to say that we, too, are addicted to science.) Two of the gentlemen were discussing the merits of a new pump, and from the tone of their conversation we inferred that one of thorn had lately invented something in that line. Boffin greeted us cordially, and led the way into the basement "Here you are. The automaton ship-caulker/! " We glanced at B. to see if he were in his right mind. Convinced of his sanity, we ventured to ask, " What in the name of the nine wonders he meant by that 1 " " Been six years working on that in private."

We congratulated him on having his bump of secretiveness so fully developed, and we asked him to explain. " Well, you see, I wind up this machine [said machine looked like a tobacconist's sign in the shape of an Indian], which is placed on this iron truck with boxwood wheels, and it moves down the staging, never missing a stroke of the mallet; and it does the work of five men in a day." " Wonderful!" we exclaimed ; " but we should prefer to see a practical demonstration, in order to convince selves that the machine will do all that you say it will." " Look at that," and he unscrewed it in the middle. A net-work of wheels, cogs, spriugs, &c., met our eyes. " Could you not wind it up just a little, in order to give us an idea V "Well, I don't know," replied he. " Let me see, we can place it against one side of the cellar wall, and let it run down to the other. Yes, I guess I can wind it up just a little so as to give you an idea." " You see," continued he, " the arms are made of wrought iron, and so is the caulking mallet ; for, were they not, they would soon wear out, in consequence of the violent strain upon them."

We thought so afterwards. He got his iron man into position, produced a key about the size of a coffee-mill handle, inserted it, and gave it three or four turns. No movement. Two moie turns. No movement. " I guess it is a little stiff in the joints."

So lie took another turn and another. It began to show signs of action. Boffin's eyes began to glisten. " There, it "will move now, you see, for after it is wound up you press this little knob " But that was all he said, for as he pressed the little knob that mallet took him in the stomach and sent him across the cellar, where he lay doubled up in the corner. When that automaton ship-caulker began his performance the way that mallet flew around was a caution. For safety we jumped upon the ice-chest, but that did not serve us long, for those terrible arms were swinging about in the wildest fashion. It just sailed up and down the cellar. Boffin, fortunately, was able to crawl down the sink-hole, where he was safe. Everything breakable and smashable were soon destroyed. A. lot of preserves, which Mrs Boffin had placed in the cellar to' cool, were effectually cooled off in quick time. A barrel of apples was made into apple sauce.

And just at this time Boffin's doo came down to see what was the matter; but the reminiscences of a recent fi"ht he had were no comparison to the blow he got from that mallet. When he gave a howl and rushed upstairs, Mrs B. made her appearance, just as the automaton was making his sixty-first round, and, lucky for her, lie was just running down and his blows becoming weaker. We cried to her not to come down, but she heeded us not, , and reached the lowest step just as Boffin's " six years of privacy " came by. A scream of pain, and we knew Mrs Boffin was struck. We waited till the infernal machine was exhausted, then picked up Mr and Mrs 8., carried them upstairs, where applications of liniment were necessary to be made in order to restore action to their limbs. The cellar looked »s though an earthquake had struck it, but we weie glad to learn one thing afterwards. The automaton shipcaulker was sent to a neighboring foundry and melted up to be cast into stoves, and Ave are trying to persuade Boffin to relinquish scientific experiments for the future.