A YANKEE OUT-YANKEE’D.

Evening Star, Volume VII, Issue 1912, 22 June 1869, Page 3

A YANKEE OUT-YANKEE’D.

The following amusingly characteristic anecdote is taken from a new work just to hand, entitled, “ The Gladstone Government; being Cabinet Pictures, by a Templar’:—‘-The anecdote—related viva voce by our great humorist with inimitable effect (if only the typography could convey the covert twinkle of his eye !) —running simply thus ; A Yankee bore of the first magnitude has been holding forth in a mixed company, during a protracted interval, in one interminable streak of talk, through which he adduces a series of illustrations of what he is pleased to call ‘ the Compensations of Nature, ’ as in this wise ‘ Then, gentlemen, ’ he says, ‘ over in England there’s a little brown bird called the nightingale, a very insignificant member of the feathered species, but with the loveliest voice that ever a bird had. That's one of the Compensations of Nature.’ ‘ And then, gentlemen,’ he says, ‘ there’s another creature over there in England called the peacock, dressed in feathers of a different kind—feathers as beautiful to look at as the rainbow, but with a voice so discordant, it’s for all the world like a screech. That's one of the Compensations of Nature.’ until at last, one recalcitrant victim, whom this 'dreadful Yankee bore has been talking nearly dead, quietly interrupts him with ‘ There’s one instance you’ve forgotten, sir.’ ‘Wall, stranger,’ says the American, ‘ and what may that be V ‘ Why,’ replies the other, ‘ it’s the oyster.' ‘ Wall, yes,’ says the bore, resuming his discourse, ‘ there’s that other animal, the oyster, that’s true. It’s a piece of gelatinous matter, gentlemen,’ he says, ‘ in a rough outer covering, but it’s one of the most luscious bits of slick food you ever swallowed ’. ‘ But you’ve forgotten the Compensation of Nature, sir, in regard to the oyster,’ says the avenging listener. ‘And what may that be f inquires the exasperated American. 4 Why,’ says the mouthpiece of the whole company, ‘ lie knows when to shut up.’