POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXVII, Issue 117, 20 May 1939, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BT PERCY FLAG 6

Wouldn't it shock civilisation if Japan suddenly declared war against I China! * # * It was A. E. Housman who wrote: And malt does more than Milton can To justify God's ways to man. * # * By Allah! We shouldn't like to live next door to an Arab either. He might fold up our tent by mistake and fade away with it. * ■'■ f ~* . ':■ ■'■-• -' If anybody made us a gift of a swan (dead) we'd bury it in the ground for 24 hours and forget all about it. ■■♦#.. » . , Jlaro's "boner": Realism deals with life as it is; romance is sometimes possible, but not often profitable. * '• ■ • '.■■,..■.' THE RAINBOW AND ARROW, r It is Mr. Savage speaking: "If some of those people who talk about defence would go fishing they would serve their country better." But the season it nearly over. Would it not be better for them to go shooting? HUGHMERUS. GOOSE-STEP. Dear Flage,—Enclosed you will find two cuttings (illustrations) from "The Post." I would ask you in future to publish something where Mussolini is in step. Is he not out of step as far as the world is concerned ?—Yours, etc., ANOTHER PERCY. " * * • FUN IN' THE ADS. "Slim Jim," gone hermit this last twelve months, has issued from his metaphorical cave to tell us about easy chairs, each of which (according to the advertisement), "has that iniquitous, deep-cradling luxury that's a* soothing and lazy as a lullaby." A . wicked business! • • * BIOLOGICAL CURIOSITY. Dear Percy Flage,—lt comes as ft great surprise to learn that of all that gallant and learned company aboard the Empress of Australia no one was able to speak with authority as to the--sex of an iceberg. While not claiming to be an anatomist, I think the answer is a very simple one, and that your column should be, used to remind her Majesty the Queen that, since it is quite a usual and proper thing fo» icebergs to. calve, there should be no difficulty whatever in settling the sex of these sea rovers. A.L.8., Hastings. • • • BRAIN-TEASERS. "Silva" passed this one along: Two horses leave two towns, which are 100 miles apart, at the same instant. One travels at 6 m.p.h., and the other at 4 m.p.h. When they set out to meet one another, a fly, which was resting on the nose of one of the horses, begins flying at 15 m.p.h. towards the other horse. When he reaches it, he turns round, and flies to the first animal. He travels backwards and forwards until the horses meet. Howfar does the fly fly? ' Here's. something different.. Eafli of , Q these I'jumbled "words, plus brie letter". necessary to complete each word (you supply that), are birds' names. For example: Brin + O = robin. Get the idea? Now then — Rinle + (?) Beer •+ (?) Woitd + (?) Asu + (?) Wamc + (?) Nero + (?) Prose f (?) Iki + «?) Now don't all speak at once. • ~'.•■..-.■ .• SCHOOL'S IN. V Do you know that— , (1) Fakirs play a prominent part in native football games in India, working spells believed to confound the opposing side? (2) v Ostrich eggs, used as food in some parts of the world, require 40 minutes to boil hard? (3) All gases are colourless, but when put into a tube and subjected to electricity they glow with lights of their own? . „,. (4) The famed cathedral of Rheims, built 100 years.ago, withstood German ' air raids in the' Great War though over 7000 bombs.dropped on.it? (5) Some 10,000,000 racing pigeons are carried in Britain by rail each year , to the starting-post in 5000 special vans designed by the railway companies? [ (6) The Lapps'wear sox made of • marsh grass straws in the- daytime, • claiming they are more protective than ■ fabrics and warm even when wet? (7) Nero was an enthusiastic user 'of cosmetics, employing chalk for i whitening his skin, pumice for polish- • ing his teeth, and barley fldur in the • hope of getting rid of his pimples? .. i ! (8) Most trees can be killed by cut? i ting a girdle around the trunk, but the t coconut 4s -an exception—it has no (9)' The ancient Romans believed that ! taking an ocean voyage .and Set^nJ ■ seasick served as an excellent remedy 1 for nervous and. mental ailments/ 1 - (10 Wines and cigarettes sold after 1 nightfall in Bratislava, Czechot Slovakia, are (or were) subject to.. ' special taxation for the benefit of the !• unemployed? . . SONG. How sweet I roamed from field to field, ' And tasted all the summer's pride, Till I the Prince of Love beheld . Who in the many beams did glide! . He showed me lilies for my hair, And blushing roses for my brow; He led me through his gardens fair 1 Where all his golden pleasures grow. : With sweet May dews my wings wert wet, -, : And Phoebus fired by vocal rag«{ :He caught me in his silken net, - ;. '~ And shut me in his golden cage. ! He loves to sit and hear me sine ! Then, laughing, sports and plays wlta 1 Then stretches out my golden wing, ; And mocks my lo f^g*"^ ,-■ DEBUT. ; Dear Percy Flage,—May we suggest/ ' that Saturday's trouble was possibly caused by' having too many irons in i the golf bag? > Have been threatening to become an 1 active Postscripter for some"* time. ' Here's what clinched the matter: it is ? from the latest "Reader's Digest":— S A Dutchman was dining in the " restaurant car of a German train and !• when the waiter approached with the ; usual "Heil Hitler," he made ho rei ply. The waiter was annoyed. "Every ; time I say 'Heil Hitler' to you,", he snapped, "you must say 'Heil Hitler' .. to me." N "Hitler? He doesn't mean a thing in Holland," remarked the Dutchman. "Maybe not now," said the waiter, "but one day you'll get our Fuhrer in Holland, too." "Perhaps so," smiled the Dutchman, "We already have your Kaiser." JO. KERB,