"THE GROWING BOY"

Evening Post, Volume CXXIII, Issue 129, 2 June 1937, Page 16

"THE GROWING BOY"

A TALK TO MOTHERS

ACTING VICAR'S ADVICE

There was a large attendance at a recent meeting of the St. Paul's branch o£ the Mothers' Union, when the Key. Gordon Mackenzie, acting vicar, was the speaker for the afternoon, and took an unusual line, for he gave the mothers present an excellent address containing useful hints about the bringing up of their boys, drawing on his experience as a worker among quite young boys and adolescents for several years. The address was entitled "The Growing Boy." Among Mr. Mackenzie's remarks were the following:—

"As it is impossible in a brief address to deal adequately with even a small aspect of the life of the growing boy, it is essential to limit the scope of this address, which will touch upon the mental and emotional changes from 14 to 18. Physical age is, how-, ever, a rather uncertain guide, as some boys develop early and some late.

"Consider the emotions first as they are the foundations of religion in its widest sense. Of late years important work has been done on the relationship between the state of physical glands and behaviour. It is now almost certain that a second helping of pork for dinner may ruin a promising love affair! There is but time to mention that the thymus gland which controls the development of childhood should normally retire on the approach of manhood. Sometimes it does not retire as 'gracefully' as it should, and so comes into conflict with the thyroid, whose purpose is the development of manhood. This struggle for adult balance is often the cause of the stormy, emotional outbursts common in these years. Unreliability and extreme sensitiveness are further results of this conflict. Patience, sympathy, and understanding are required of parents at this stage of their son's life.

"SENSE OF DISSATISFACTION."

"It is worthy of note also that at this stage there develops a sense of dissatisfaction with home surroundings," continued Mr. Mackenzie, "a development which cannot be called anything but normal and healthy. To a certain extent this dissatisfaction with home ought to be encouraged by the parents. The home-limited boy is slow in developing resistance and self-deter-mination, two elements that should be encouraged. It is 'the business of parents.at this stage, to plunge boys into enterprises where failure is a possibility, and not to hush up any, resultant failure. The boy must be taught to meet defeat. This is.not a plea for slack .home .discipline, but ;for an understanding discipline, which will allow the boy to develop self-discip-i line.

"Mentaljy this is a period when there is a marked cessation of growth. The boy continues to learn,, but his learning capacity no longer expands. There is a great development of interest in abstract subjects. . The boy becomes more argumentative, but not always more logical. He is like an unfinished machine, so that neat work and good thought are not to be expected. Concentration is difficult, and it is not always helped by the home where children are expected to work in a room where parents are listening to tile wireless programme.

"The great physical changes occurring at this period of life also tend to :diininish .the: amount>of- energy;^available for mental'effort, Encourage the boy to read, but books that train his feelings rather than his intellect. If parents can get a boy to feel rigM, the chances are that he will act rightly. Emotion is the spring of conduct.

EMOTION POWERFUL.

"Emotion is a powerful force to be used in character-building. -Four points may be noted: (1) No emotion can be produced without a stimulus. Environment can be used to this end. Secure a stimulating.environment. (2) Give careful instruction by preecpt and example. A mother talks to her boy about the evil of lying. She then answers the telephone: 'So sorry I can't come tonight as we have visitors.' The boy knows it is not true, and all the mother's teaching is undone and worse. Parents must be sure that precept is the same as example. It is much better to have a low standard of precept that is allied to example than a high standard of precept that is opposed to example. (3) Whenever an emotion is aroused, allow it to take its normal path of discharge in expression. Act on every emotion no matter how trivial the act may be. To fail to act is to prevent in some degree future rousing of that emotion. (4) Emotions are temporary. They must be organised into sentiments to be permanent. A sentiment is an emotion attached to a definite object. Thus, patriotism, a sentiment, is a group of emotions attached to the idea of one's country.

"A word of warning is necessary," concluded the speaker. "Under emotional stress, people often act irrationally. It is important that they, cultivate a right attitude towards things so that even under stress of emotion they may act along our usual lines."

A hearty vote of thanks was passed to Mrs. MacKenzie for an address that was characterised as "most useful."

A vote of thanks was passed to the Garment Society for a generous gift of clothing for distribution in the parish.