POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXVI, Issue 61, 13 March 1934, Page 6

POSTSCRIPTS

&V PERCY FLAGE3

Chronicle and Comment

Now America's bandits gal N.8.A.-* National Bobbers' Association. .■ ■ '•■>.. • . Disarmament note. Plenty; of people are talking peace, but it's the' wise ones who are keeping their -powder dry, too. ' : ■•'-.-■, ** • • Up in Auckland our Finance Minister expressed the opinion that "everyone could feel that something was moving." They certainly did in the late hours of Monday week. .'■ . * *~•■»" In the headlines. - BANKBUPT 'S STATEMENT. T etaoih mhmcnifwy Mcmfw etaoo Fortunately, all such statements are not quite so cryptic as thatl ■..-■■ * - *' * MIGHTY MITES. ..." Plage,—lf the Manbuti pygmies of Africa could read the newspapers, they. would have a great laugh at the report of that conference of European dwarfs. The Manbutis, as a tribe, are the small est of human beings, averaging a trifle over 4ft in height. Nevertheless, it is said of them that they are the only natives to attack the giant gorilla, one of the fiercest and hugest of the apes. Boys like that would not look for any, coddling simply because they stood- no' higher than Camera's sock suspenders —if he wears such things. . BILY PEWSHEJ.. * * * GO TOO!' Dear Flage,—The Mary and lamb' series reminds one of my very young days, when I was the proud possessor of a goat. It was in Western Queensland during a drought that I got, and lost, my _ goat. The goat grew to be a great nuisance, butting in where he was not wanted. To me, he^ was the Phar Lap of all goats. The drought became more severe, and as my dad bred stock (horses mainly) I was naturally inter* ested in the daily death-roll. I saw; one evening the numbers, which seemed greater than usual, and I' asked my, father, "Died today?" Sadly he replied, "Go to." I did not know tvhat he meant until I saw Stinker's skin pegged out. He was also'a great reader of Shakespeare. • BINDY. * * * , HEBE'S HOW. Dear Percy,—Poor old "SYZ?'! He'i slipping badly! and beer, too! Y'know, when they first put that up to. me, I was in such a hurry to arrive at a solution that I upset my cradle. And that was only milk! Suppose you put this up to "XYZ." : Fill the 5 from the S (of beer). Fill the 3 from the 5, leaving 2 in the 5: . . Empty the 3 into the 8, and emptjj the 2 in the 5 into the 3. Refill the 5 (with beer) from the. 8< Empty 1 from the 5 into the 3 to fill it (with beer), leaving 4 in the 5. ' Give my address to "XYZ." Beer* my No. 1 hobby. ; NEMO. "Budgite" also supplies theformulaj and while congratulating "XYZ" .on; his success, thinks the victor ''must: have celebrated early or the little problem of measuring the beer would havo been very little trouble." "Budgite" urges "XSTZ" not to drink it all at .once,,but to .keep^.a drop for .him. ..'. -■■■:; . ■ ■«..-;;.». - • *. • ■'- .--... POSTED ['"'.[. .MISSING. " "Unsigned."—That "mother of 18 without a wrinkle" is out of bounds. "Billy Boy."—Old as the hills, William. • -..-■. "What Ho!," "Temblor," and sev« eral others.—Thanks, but no more shakes for the present. "B.O.D."—Misses by a fraction.; ; "Appreciated."—Sorry, but we did mean to run a stanza or two of "The Fair,V but the MS. was not discovered until too late. "Evah."—You have done much! better work than that. A.R.L.—Why not • send it direct to> the Prime Minister? It's an old one^ anyhow. - To half a dozen. Postscripters.—* When what is already in type sees ths light of day, comment in re Mary's goat comes to a timely end. "Chin-chin."—lt is hard to say No" after one has. expressed herself so appreciatively about Column 8. . "Gallivanter."—Not in the best of taste.- i : ■ . ■ "O.M.B."—Don't shoot the pianist* lie is doing his best. -« ♦ ■ ♦. TOO LATE.' These verses, by J. J. Montague* touched such a iresponsive cnoTd in our auricles and ventricles that we could not forbear, reprinting them. ; • When I pick-up my fountain pen And write a pithy observation, Which I am sure that cultmed men Will con with eager admiration, And cry, "This gem the world ■ toU please And bring me much, and well earned. credit," I always find that Socrates Has said it. When I evolve a snappy lino And twang it to my tuneful lyre, Believing.that this mot of mine / Will set a listening world on fire, Andscry, "This stuff .is .pretty-sweet. It takes a rhyming ace to do it," Demosthenes, r find; has beat Me to it. ■ When I think up a flaming thought And put it into vibrant metre, And cry, "This line is deftly wrought— Bill Shakespeare never- /wrote 4 sweeter— • . It ought to gain me fame and pelf, Admiring millions soon will qnotet it," - ■..'.■' : I learn that it was Bill himself Who wrote it. . . - A writer's life is pretty tough ■ And"-dreary, any way you view it} Those other fellows stole my stuff Before I had a chance to do it. If I had only lived and sung Ahead of all those rhyming blighter* I might today be found among Great writers. : * * ♦ OLD FOGEY. . We have had an inquiry from "A.E.M." as to the origin of the phrase "old fogey." Besearch on the point indicates that it came from Scotland. In 1790, North of the Tweed they were singing a ditty which said, ■ "Now ilka lad has got a lass Save you, auld doited fogie." The term had been previously applied to old pensioners at Edinburgh, Castle. Another suggested explanation is that it derived from an old word,' "fogram," meaning '.'antiquated or old-fashioned." But the most probable source, especially taking into account the fact that we are dealing with, a Scottish noun, is another old word of that language. "Foggie" was an adjective applied to persons of unhealthy and corpulent appearance, or, as one dictionary defines it, "unwholesomely bloated." However, the transition of the word from those old pen-' sjioners tp old-fashioned and aged; men * is, at any rate, quite easy-to compre*i -head,."