POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXIV, Issue 123, 21 November 1932, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY. PERCY FLAGE

Fair exchange is said to be no .robbery, but the pegged variety looks lika sheer brigandage.

Just how astray the meteorological forecast for the week-end was could be seen by the number of burnt noses and scorched eyebrows on the Quay thia morning. ; •

■■" ; BLACK MAGIC. X :■/■■ Power of the Press in Uncle Sam's Middle West back country:-—

Owing to the overcrowded condition of our columns, a number, off births and deaths are unavoidably postponed this week.

That editor would fare ill in Mr. Mussolini's country.

UNLESS THERE'S A REVOLUTION.

Predicting a rift in the Coalition ranks, the Hon. R. McKenzie said that he did not see how they could hang together for long. He is not likely to see them hanging at all, worse luck, observes "Peter Pan" cynically. -~ . ' ;A BEARISH MARKET. That military movement in Afghanistan for the return and re-instasement of Ainanullah on the. throne suggested that the ex-King is finding the houses-ty)-let-and-for-sale business in Roma rather less exciting than he anticipate cd. . - ■...:■• '■■'.'■'■ * * . ». . • HOLD THAT LINE! Inspired by the first• hint, of Spring frocks in bur city streets again, and by the remarkable stream-lines of some ot our Sweet Young Things! '■...-■ ' ■•.■,:" BETTYKINS. Sing a song of slendefness, .- All young grace and tenderness, A maiden loses weight, and she. . (Innocent of blatancy) Declares she never diets and . .'■ She's really very vexed. Perceive, though^ her elations In fashion's new creations; ' .' ■ And, though the minx/is cunnin'. She can't disguise her fun in ~ Being just a trifle slenderer ' And slimmer than the nest r .; ■■'.■* .\*'' .* ■ ' .;••'■ CLAIRVOYANCE. .We have been peering into the crysi tal and reading of the success of Jar* dine's platoon iof bowlers,' and have been vouchsafed a vision of England's line-up for th,p opening Test. There are ten certainties—Verity, Voce, Tate (who will have arrived by then),, Brown, Bowes, Mitchell, Larwobd AU len, Jardine, and Suteliffe. Ames and Duckworth will toss for the 'keepership. With a devastating attack like that at Jardine's command, he can safely risk leaving out the of his sst'ar_ batsmen, since it will not be a question of how many nins Bradman and Co. will'make, :but how few. But, challenging the inevitable ■ (see recent issues of the London "Evening Standard"), I've two bob to say that the Aussies will retain-the Ashes. ;. ■. PLUMMETT WARNER. '""■■-,'"*■ * : • ' •■•' ■" -* MEET "JOE" WINDVOEL. If there is one gentleman in this troubled planet who can read of Voronoff and his monkey .gland "monkey" business with, nonchalance it in Josef Windvoel. "Joe" (to his friends) has been married again—his ' fourth matrimonial adventure. ■ But that fact has no important bearing: on the re» juvenation question. What. is important is that Windvoel,, according to records reputedly in the possession of the Berlin Mission Society,;is a trifle over 131 years old, ana is keeping rather well, thank you. He still has a reasonable expectation of life because, according to Joe, his elder brother, Punch, died suddenly and recently, at the ago oflSB. This claim' suggests that Mr. Windvoel minor has v an unusually vivid imagination for.a Hottentot. Another point that occurs to : ujs is that for Nail this phenomenon's fears, they'seem not to have added to his'store of wisdom— the reference is to his-refusal •to remain a widower while he is safe. Per-, haps, however, this fourth experiment of his was not the/result of a- lovec affair; more probably it was born of a' matter-of-fact, desire to have someond relieve him of the chores to be don« about the house. Then again it mightt have been an act of sheer bravado. You never can tell what these elderly beams' will do next. ' ■ "■ . .' ■■■■' • ■'* -.'•■■■■ ■ ■*■'.'■'"■ ■*. ':': .:":.' ■TO PERCY.- O; ? , Oh Percy, in thine hour of ease, Uncertain, coy, and hard, to please, When pain 'and anguish, wrack th* brow A ministering angel, thou, : Unto the reader of thy column Of heavy heart and count'nanci solemn. ■■;';■ :. .■

Oh Percy, in thine hour of ease "Uncertain, coy, and hard to please To hini t ; hou art who wracks the broif To furnish gems of art—for thou Dost lightly pass them, o'er, sans kiss« ■'- -ling.".' "■■■-■ "I • . For lodgment with the " Posted— Missing.','- ■'•■-....' . •■'•-. - Oh Percy,, in thine hour of ease Uncertain, coy, and hard to please; ■ Thou surely wilt not take offence, sir. At passing reference to the Censor. Compared with him, oh Plage, I trovrg A'ministering angel, thon. - ' . . "' . J.H. . ♦ ■ ■ * • ■*.. ' iistdia must be a'tebbible ■■■'■"■ ; - place. ■■,:."■. .-. They were Anglo-Indians.-You could see lit. A blind man could hear it. They looked soldiers or cigars. Light. Havanas with whiskers. And' they; spoke thY Hindu so well. They spoke it for hours/and for those hours I knew nothing about them. At last with a graceful w.aveiof the hand and an air of finality; the shortest Havana.- said, >• "Captain Sahib, kohi hai? Tiffin lao! Pathan kookries sambout markor jezail!" . ■..■■-;•■ ■ . "Jhampauni salaams," answered the other, "tainasha jirgah niutlab!" . "Bhuza ghaza," exposulated. the Havana, "kotal Sirkar burra khana;" Another Havana joined them, and I controlled the desire to run forward and bind them together with a yellow ribbon and present them to an uncle I think I -have. ' ." • "Whai!" ejaculated the newcomer, ."it's old Grimly-Blushee!- Ai haven't seen you since Dera, '04. "Where's Dashly-Blank of ours, now?" ; "Oh, paw _ fellah," grieved small Havana, "haven't you heard about him?" - "Whai, no!" . Small Havana wiped a-tear away and broke the back of a strong oath between his teeth. '"He had to eat " GOAT in the Kajir campaign," he said faintly. ■ "GOAT! Good Heavens, did he dai?" "WHai," cried small Havana with the outraged look*of one encountering Ics-majestyj "of course he daid!" •A.S I remarked before, India must be/ a terrible place. ■ MEETA G.ABBO, /