THE "AUTOMATIC EJECTOR."

Dunstan Times, Issue 1070, 27 October 1882, Page 4

THE "AUTOMATIC EJECTOR."

The Burlington Hnwkevn has just pone into its new editorial rooms They are finished off with a little invention which will be of untohT value to the profession of j>n real ism It is known as “ Middlnerib’s Automatic Ejector. The sanctum is on the same floor as the newsroom, bein'? separated from it by a pa'tition. in which is cut a large window, easily opened bv an automatic arrangement. The editor’s table is placed in front of that window and near the head of the stairs ; and ■on the side of the table next the win •dow, directly opposite the editor, the visitor’s chair is placed. Tt has an inviting look about it, and its entire appearance is guileless and commonplace But the strip of floor on which that chair rests is a deception and a fraud. It is an endless chain, Tike the floor of a horse-power, and is operated at will hy the editor, who bas merely to touch a spring in the floor to set it in motion. The other morning, Mr. Eostwick came in with a funny story to tell. Tie naturally -flopped down in the chair that had the strongest appearance of belonging to some one else, and began in usual the happy vein—“T’ve got tbe richest thing-oh ! haa 1 Oh 1 it’s too good 1 Oh ! hy George, the richest thing ! Oh, by George ! I can’t do it! It’s too good ! You know ha, ha, he, he, he ! You know the ” Here the editor touched the spring, a nail--.grab under the bottom of the chair reached swifty up and caught Mr. Boatwick by the cushion of his pant"-, the window flow np, the noiseless belt otfl 'or, gliding on its course, bore the astonished Mr. Bostwick through the window out into the news-room half-way down to the cases, where lie was received with great applause by the delighted compositors. The win•dow slammed down as soon as he had passed through,when the edit rial foot was withdrawn from the spring, and 'the chair dropped, the nail grab resuming its accustomed place. After a hriet interval of quiet in the sanctum, a rustling of raimant was heard on the stairs. A lovely woman entered and stood unawed in the editorial presence. The E.P., on its part was rather nervous and uncomfortable ' The lovely woman seated herself in •that fatal chair. Bhe slapped her "little subscription-book. She said, “I aim soliciting cash contributions to pay ■ off the church debt, and buy an organ fr the Mission Church ot the forlorn strangers, and I expect—— ’’ There are times when the occasion demands great effort. The -editor bowed his head, and, after one spasm of remorse, felt for the secret spring. The window went up like a charm, the reckless nail grab hung back for a second, as if held by feeling of innate delicacy, end then it shut its eyes and smothered its pity, and reached and took -a death-like hold on a roll of “ able -and influential ” newspapers, and a network of string and tape, and the ■ cavalcade backed out i nto the newsroom with colours flying The chair stopped just before toe familiar spirit "(commonly known as the devil) who was washing the form s, and as the • lovely woman gazed at the inky face she shrieked. “Merciful heavens, ■whe-e am T ]” and was borne down the gloomy stairway unconscious, ■while the printers whose eases were 'nearest the wicked window hea d the editor singing, as it might be to him- ■ Be’f, “ Dearest sister, thou hast left >us.”