SUBJECTS FOR THE GOSSIPS.

Dunstan Times, Issue 996, 20 May 1881, Page 3

SUBJECTS FOR THE GOSSIPS.

A pretty girl may' talk ; slang, but she never says to her beau, “None of your bp-”

A girl between 12 and 13 years old was married the other day at Arrowsmith, M‘Lean County, 111.

The best railroad conductor in the world is a well-bred woman, for she always knows how to manage her train.

An Irishman tells of a woman who was so cross-eyed that she put her spectacles on the back of her head. The women of Calcutta are described as very beautiful, but they fail rapidly after reaching the age of maturity. “ It is only after long reflection that I go to an entertainment with any young man,” said the maiden to the mirror.

Mrs Mary Orem, of Baltimore, now in her 105 th year, is lying at the point of death. Her oldest living child is 75 years old. White women have too much sense to put rings in their noses as savages do. They adorn their faces with patches of court plaster. Whenever young ladies learn to stick a pin in their apron-strings so that it wont scractch a fellow, there will be more marriages.

At a ball in Vienna, a quadrille was brought to a sudden stop by one of the dancers who, two minutes afterwards, was the mother of twins.

A Detriot lady called at a drug store the other day and said : “ I want a tooth-brush —a real nice one. I want it for a spare bed room.”

When you ask a Boston girl for a kiss, she replies, “ I have no objection to a Platonic osculation, but permit me first to remove my glasses.” When a woman leaves a man who has not earned his salt for years, he immediately advertises that he wdll pay no debts of her contraction.

A foolish young maiden, who married a man who had lost both legs in the army, went around boasting that she had secured a husband who would never kick her.

A Washington County woman has a bonnet 100 years old. Unless it has been used as a football by the children, and sat down upon a number of times, it is out of style now.

An English paper discusses “What Girls should Learn ” Some of them ought to learn to osculate without making noise enough to bring the governor down stairs to see if the hall lamp has exploded. Some women are very absent-minded, and frequently forget where they left the dishpan after using it; but the world has not yet produced a woman who ever forgot where she hung her false hair before retiring.

A popular concert singer, advertised to participate in an entertainment in a Missouri village, excused her absence on the ground of having a cold in her head ; the next day she received the following from an admirer This is gouse greze; melt it and rub on the bridge of yore noz until kured. I luv you to distraxshun.”

How much or how little the institution of marriage may mean 1 Looked at simply in its visible form, it is only a ceremony uniting two persons in legal and moral bonds, who afterwards form one family, instead of parts of of two. But what are its invisible truths, its higher realities, its poetry ; does it not suggest holy affection, pure delight, rich possibilities of mutual aid, improvement, and sympathy ? Does it not hint at family life, with its responsibilities, duties, its self-sacrifice, its trials, its rewards, the inspiration it gives to energy, the sweets it confers on labor, the consolations it has in store for sickness or sorrow, the honor it bestows on old age ? What though these maybe wholly realised? They are no less the great truths of marriage, to which some may be for ever blind, and some may convert from beautiful conceptions to happy realities.