Fun and Wit.

Dunstan Times, Issue 991, 15 April 1881, Page 3

Fun and Wit.

A London druggist has this cheerful invitation in his shop-window: “ Come in and tret twelve emfetics for one shilling.” It is a fact,- not easily accounted for, that at parties—after supper—the guests begin to grow thin. Is it fair to say of a young lady who refuses you that she is too no-ing by half? Physical force, moral force and the police force are what keep the world going. Why is life the greatest conundrum ? Because all have to give it up. Rider (on a very lean horse) —"Some very good points, eh ? ” Friend—“ Seems made of’om." Customer—“ Waiter, this fillet of turbot is not so good as that of last Sunday.” Waiter—“ Oh, sir, excuse mo, yon are mistaken. It is off the very samo fish.” A manufacturer of glass eyes says that his products are now so skilfully made as to defy detection. Even the wearers of the eyes cannot see through the deception. A girl in Dublin struck her crnqust partner on the head with her mallet; brain fever set in, and the young man nearly died. The girl was kept nnder arrest until his recovery, and when he got weN she married him, and now he’s sorry he didn’t die. “ Charles, I hate this horrid snrf it makes me keep my mouth shut. ” Charles, sarcastically ; “ Take some of it home with you, my dear.” Tommy went fishing the other daywlthout permission from his mother. The next morning a neighbor’s son met Kim, and asked—“ Did you catch anything yesterday, Tommy?” ‘'Not till I got home,” was the rather sad and significant response.