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Dunstan Times, Issue 802, 31 August 1877, Page 3

During a seiios of wot days a gentleman ventured to congratulate his umbrella maker. “Yes, that’s all very well, sir,” ho replied ; ' ‘ hut then there’s nothing whatever doing in parasols.” An organised fight (the P.E. is not quite dead) was “ disturbed” in the Homo District. And a good job too. “ Atticus ” tells the following amusing story in the ‘ Leader ’ —When clothes arc precisely alike and faces very nearly so, mistakes are likely to occur. On a festive occasion in this city, a gentleman thinking he saw a friend, a well known auctioneer, slapped him on the back, and made a jocose inquiry after his health. The other turned round and said, “ 1 think you are mistaken ;1 am .” “ Oh, I beg your Excellency’s pardon; I really thought you were Mr Cr .” Half an hour after the same unlucky gentleman came, as he thought, face to face with his friend, and this time he poked him in the ribs. ‘ ‘ Such a joke, G ,” said he ; “ I’ve just slapped the Governor on the back, taking him for you 1”—“ And now you’ve poked him in the ribs under the same misapprehension,” replied his Excellency. For fear of further mistakes, the unfortunate gentleman went homo. There is a young man who is 3 always melancholy and always out of work. The other day he was asked by a kindly-disposed man whether he could find no work. “Sir,” said he, “the only thing that slurs my happiness is my appetite. Can I help it?” “ No.” “ The only thing that appeases my appetite is my food. Can I help it?” “No, certainly not.” “The only other thing that procures mo food is money. Can I help it?” “Of 'Course not; everybody has to buy food.” “ The only Was 7 for me to get money is to work. Can I help it ?” “That is the way to get it.” “ But, sir,” and here the tears came rolling down his cheek, “ there is the rub. Work spoils my appetite, and I havu’t anything else to live for.” Parting advice. “And above all, Nellie my love,” were the parting words a West Adams street woman to her daughter, as the hack conveyed the newly-wedded pair to Fort Wayne depot drew up at the door ; “and above all, Nellie, if you should quarrel- for Reginald is hut a man, and his life is full ot thorns—remember that your first duty is to yourself as a lady and housekeeper. Order neatness above all things. Never hit your husband with a rolling-pin or potato masher. You could never forgive yourself if the result of such a blow were to bo the appearance of a hair at table in a dish of mashed potatoes or a pie-crust when you had company at tea. The poker will do quite as well, as it is infinitely more lady-like. Good by. Write every day, and don’t forget your poor old mother. 800-hoo !” Throat Affections and Hoarseness. All suffering from irritation of the throat and hoarseness will he agreeably surprised at the almost immediate relief afforded by the use of “Brown’s Bronchial Troches.” These famous “lozenges” are now sold by most respectable chemists in this country at Is I.UI per box. People troubled with a “ hacking cough,” a “slight cold,” or bronchial affections, cannot try them too soon as similar troubles, if allowed to progress result in serious Pulmonary and Asthmatic affections. See that the words “ Brown’s Bronchial Troches” arc on the Government Stamp around each box. —Manufactured by John I. Brown & Sons, Boston, United States. Depot, 4915, Oxford-street, London