MISCELLANEOUS.

Dunstan Times, Issue 737, 2 June 1876, Page 3

MISCELLANEOUS.

Why is Neptune like the man who searched for the philosopher’s stone?— Because he was a sea-king what never existed. A Mean Man.—The man who won’t take a paper because he can borrow one has invented a machine with which he can cook his dinner by the smoke of his neighbor’s chimney. Spring water—April showers. A girl has a ringing laugh when she’s a belle. A pleasant kind of husbandry—Removing a widow’s weeds.

The alligator that swallowed a corset is dead. It stayed on his stomach. Too full for utterance—the boy who filled his mouth with a hot baked apple. In a certain New York shop-window is displayed this suggestive notice : —“ Boy wanted that has fully rested himself, and is not too intellectual.”

The Grey River Argus of Saturday, says : “We cannot but regard the various signs of the times as indicating the rapid approach in New Zealand of a social and financial crisis, which, while it lasts, will be productive of great and wide-spread distress. There is little doubt, however, of the Colony being able to pull through, but one cannot but help thinking there should be a limit to the sacrifices which the present generation are to make for the advantages os posterity.” A writer of passing notes for the Thames Star remarks that everybody has heard thatWouders sure will never cease While works of art do so increase, and although everybody might be surprised to hear that blood cannot bo taken from a stone, or a shirt obtained from a man living in the same state (as regards clothing) as was Adam before he gratified his taste for apples, yet, perhaps, though some may, everybody will not be surprised to hear that it is possible to extract milk form that species of nondescript vehicle yclept a buggy. At least it appears that it does not suggest itself as an impossibility to the minds of some, when we see in the columns of the New Zealand Herald an advertisement inserted stating that a lad is wanted “ accustomed to milking and attending to a gentleman’s buggy." It will be a matter of interest to know how much milk tho buggy will yield when operated on by one accustomed to milking this sort of newly discovered substitute for tho primeval cow. Why is the end of a fish’s tail like the Prince Imperial of France ? —Because it is he last of the bony-parts.