FOURTEEN-MILE CORRESPONDENCE

Dunstan Times, Issue 526, 17 May 1872, Page 2

FOURTEEN-MILE CORRESPONDENCE

(to THE EDITOR OF THE DUN STAN TIMES.' Sir, —Your Fourteen-Mile Co rrespondent, iu his last letter, ’accuses me of vanity in supposing that he alluded to me as the author of the letter in the Tmpeka Times that has ruffled hh feathers to such au entent. It is -possible I may have been mistaken, and that I am not the “ Ilemaius of the only forest iu the neighborhood of Alexandra hut, if so, I have only erred in common with every one here who has read the letter of your Fourteen-Mile Correspondent. I can further assure your Fourteen-Mile Correspondent that, had I ever possessed any ambition to shine as a wit, a perusal of his letter, iu which he has favored us with such a brilliant specimen of the agonizing and excrutiatingly convulsive —not to say frantic—style, would have at once convinced me that the attempt was futile. I’erhaps, this very deficiency on my part renders me morecapabieof appreciating wit in others. Certainly, nothing, for a long time, has so excited my admiration as that fine [ passage were FourteenMile Correspondent describes a stale piece of wit ‘ ‘ dying a horrible and lingering death” previous to its birth. This fine metaphor bears the true stamp of genius, the point being concealed with such exquisite skill that ordinary mortals have hitherto been unable to comprehend its meaning. No, my (dear Fourteen-Mile Correspondent : you were mistaken in supposing that I intended to poke fun at you. My letter was wrtiten in perfect seriousness, and with a tender recollection of the days when 1 first knew yon--a shy silent youth, with a reserved nature that prevented you from exposing the rich stores of your mind and astonishing the world with your genius ; excepting on some rare occasions, when you would pour forth the treasures of your powerful imagination in such a torrent that your friends, lost in astonishment, were utterly unable to take it in. Ever since those days I have watched your career with the anxiety o f a parent, and when you retired to the lonely recesses of the FourteenMile I waited for the time when you would give the world the result of your long study of nature in her dreariest aspect, at once adding to our common stock of knowledge and raising your own reputatiou high among the writers of the day. Imagine my grief when 1 found you attempting to write a record of the/ sayings and doings of your fellow men, of whom, your l retired life, you must possess an imperfect knowledge ; consequently, your failure was almost certain. In the hope that my advice might still influence you, I wrote, endeavoring to restore you to the right path ; and, by the memory of old times, 1 implore you to retrace your steps, and pursue* career in which your success would be assured. There is no lack of subjects. Even in your own letter you have faintly shadowed forth one of surprising interest. You write of the “ Ghoul-like act of raising the ghost of' of Washington living.” I assure you that this sentence has raise! the most intense curiosity on the part of the public : and, if you would only employ your facile pen in writing a “Treatise on Ghouls; with some account of their Method of liaising Ghosts,” supportc I by the array of facts which yon would doubtless bring forward, tending to alter- all our pre-conceived ideas respecting the functions of those demons, your success would be complete. No doubt you would raise bitter opponents—an army of spirit-rapper.? would revile you ; but be not restrained by any such consideration ; advance boldly in the straight course of scientific truth, and tell your opponents, in the noble language of the poet, that “The Fourteen-Mile Ghouls are peculiar; And this I am bound to maintain!” And your name will bo rendered famous, and will be handed down to posterity as one of the great discoverers of the age. And now, dear Fourteen-mile Correspondent, farewell. ’Tis hard to write the word ; but rny regret at parting with you is soothed by the reflection that ail I have written has been done with the kindest feelings towards you. and with a tender regard for your literary reputation ; while, instead of receiving it in the same spirit, you have severely relinked me for ray presumption. I bow miyhead in sorrowful submission ; for, since the days of Balaam, a certain class have claimed the privilege of administering rebukes, 'and far be it from me to question their authority. I am, &c., W. F. FORREST, Alexandra, May 7, 187—.