MISCELLANEOUS.

Dunstan Times, Issue 430, 15 July 1870, Page 3

MISCELLANEOUS.

The following story has been found in a M.S. of the 17th century in Sion College Library, helping to explain thS‘[vulgar of cooking liis goose— “ The King of Swedland coming to a town of his enemyes with very little company, his enemyes to slight his forces, did hang out a goose for him to shoot, but perceiving before night that these few soldiers had invaded and set their bhiote houlds on fire, they demanded what his intent was. To whom he replied, ‘ ‘ To roast, your goose. ” For condensed news, no paper in the world, we should think, can equal the “ San Francisco News Letter and Californian Advertiser,’ and it' exhibits humor, wit. and audacity enough to set up half-a-dozen comic publications, as times go. Here are a few items:—“ Chicago propels vigorously in the direction of total depravity. Pelting of a preacher.. Duchmen drowned. Ghastly gashing of some gushing girls. Man minced. No more coalminers roaste 1 since last week: the last was underdone. Rawlins dead. Will have a monument that Rawlins living would never have been thought to merit? Moral —Die.” The following is an old sailor’s direction to a dentist : “ ’Tis the aftermost grinder aloft on the starboard quarter.” „ A man can’t help what is done behind his back,” as the scamp said when he was kicked out of doors. “ What are you doing with my microscope, Fred ?” I’ve been shaving, father, and I want to see if there are any hairs in the lather.”

As Charles Lamb and a friend were passing through the lower purlieus of London, they saw two women violently sculling each other from their respective tenements, which happens I to be |on opposite sides of the street “Why, these women can never agree,” remarked Lamb; “ they are arguing from opposite premises.” Sir John Lubbock, in his observations of the Indians of South America, gives a curious trait in some of the tribes. He says that the kiss which we think so natural is unknown to some of the tribes. There are some who stand positively in fear of it. When one attempts to embrace them, they regard it as evidence of a desire to eat them as a mode of tasting them. “ What a pity,” adds a brute “ that this distrust of kissing does not prevail to a greater extent among the so,called civilize 1 nations!” As cool a person, under the circumstances, as was ever hear ! of was a young nobleman, who, in a frightful railway accident, missed his valet. One of the guards came up to him and said : “ My Lord, we have found your servant, but he is cut in two.” “Aw, is he ? ” said the young man, with a Dundreary drawl, but still with some anxiety depicted on his countenance, “ will you be gwood enough to see in which half he has got the key of my carpet bag ? ” To a sensitive mind his anxiety seems to have been misplaced. The same unconciousness to the awful aspects of death was exhibited by a man in new Jersey in 1859, who was employed to convey to his friends the body of a Mr. Wilson who had died about fifty miles from home, of the cholera. On finding the house lie knocked at the door, and the wife of the deceased opened it. “Does Mr. Wilson live here?” said the man. “ Yes,” said the lady, “but he is not at home to-day.” No, I know he ain’t,,’ said the man, with a soothing tone of voice, thinking to break the news gently, “ but he will be in a minute, ’caase I’ve got him here dead in the'waggon.” There was a still more reprehensible nioral obtuseness in the remark of a man who was sentenced to be hanged, and who inquired of the sheriff the night before the appointed day, “ I say Mr. Sheriff, at what hour does thes little affair of mine come off?”