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Dunstan Times, Issue 243, 21 December 1866, Page 3

How they do in main'f. —Somebody, evidently an old bachelor used to such things, thus describes how they do in Maine: Maine 1 aw State, it is said, still continue to kiss the lips of the young temperance men to see if they have been tampering with liquor. Just imagine a beautiful young temperance woman, with all the dignity of an executive officer, and the innocence of a dove, with the charge, ' Mr—the ladies believe you are in the habit oi tampering with liquor, and they have appointed me to examine you according to our established rules ; are you willing '( You nod acquiescence. She gently steps closer to you, lays her white arm around your neck, dashes back her raven curls, raises her sylph like form upon tiptoe, her snowy, heaving bosom against your own, and with her angelic features lit up with a smile as sweet as heaven, places her rich rosy, pouty, sugar, molasses, lily, rosebud, cream tart, apple pie, peach pudding, apple dumpling, gingerbread, nectar lips against yours, and ( ■■ Jerusalem, hold us!) kisses you, Hurrah for the gals and the Maine Law, and death to all opposition ! ;; t( The People (American Paper)." Von Bismark's Bed on the Night of the Great Battle. —The correspondent of theSiecle, M, Vilbort, writing from the Prussian head quarters on the 7th says:— M de Bismark arrived in Hozritz on the night of the great battle.—No preparation had been made for the accomodation of the head-quarters, which were established in the morning atGitschin. He was hungry and weary, but all the houses were closed. There was no bread, and all the straw that could be had was used tor the wounded. In this state of things the President of the Council lay down on the | pavement of the Place of Hozritz, and | without a pillow slept that pleasant sleep which a soldier who has won a victory j knows." I CARIOSITIES OF THE ATLANTIC TtLEORArn.- -| The 'Courtier du Haver' sets forth a striking result of the laying of the Trasatlantic telo- | graph. It say :—" New York is situated nearly I j 7l> degrees of longitude west of Paris. The I i earth in its daily rotation travels through 3CO degrees in 24 hours, from which it results that I every 15 degrees to the west of the first meridian placed at Par-is is one hour later. When it is noon at Paris it is only eleven o'clock at 15 i degrees to tho west of that city. And as New York is 76 degrees to the west of Paris, it follows that is seven o'clock in the evening at New York when it is midnight at Paris. Suppose, then, that a great edifice in Parte, the Opera, for example, takes fire at a quarter past twelve at .nighty on the Ist September next, the event is . Immediately telegraphed from Paris to New York, and is dated, ' Paris, a quarter-past twelve at night Ist September.' The news arrives at New York, let us say, in two hours, to make ample allowance for interruptions, &c., the despatch, dated Paris, Ist September, arrives at New York at a quarter past nine in the evenTing of the .'J Ist August, so that a New Yen k | manager could appear on the stage, and after the I three customary bows could thus express himself:—'Ladies and gentlemen, 1 am sorry to ' have to inform you that the Opera at Paris has been destroyed by fire three hours after the preI sent time. Our director has just transmitted to h : s Paris confrere his condolence on the disaster i which is going to happen to him.' Moreover, it I will no longer suffice to inelicate a date anel say ' Such a day such an hour ;' it will be necessary to add, 'time at such a place.' Thus the clerk's of the new telegraph office take care to add to the communications exchanged between the two continents the express mention—time at Paris or Greenwich, or New York, or Washington." A Cheerful Driver.—Artemus Ward in describing his journey from California, says : ; "The driver, with whom I sat outside, as we ! slowly rolleel down tho fearful mountain road, ! which looks down on either side into an appaling I ravine, informed me that ho has met with accil elents in his time which cost the Californian Stage | Company a great deal of money, 'because,' said he, ' juries is agm us on principle, anel every man who sues is sure to recover. But it will never be so again, not with me, you bet !' ' How is that ?' I said. It was frightful dark. It was snowing withal ; and, notwithstanding, the brakes were kept hard down, the coach slewed wildly, often touching the brink of the black precipice. 'How is that?" I said. 'Why, you see,' he replied, 'that corpses never sues for damages, but maimed people do. And the next time I have an overturn, I shall go round anel keenly examine the passengers. Them as is dead I shall let alone; but them as is mutilated I shall finish with the king-bolt ! Dead folks don't sue. They ain't on it.' Thus, with anecdote, did this | driver cheer me up."