ANGER AND ENUMERATION.

Daily Telegraph (Napier), Issue 3584, 6 January 1883, Page 4

ANGER AND ENUMERATION.

A Danbury man named Reubens recently saw a statement that counting one lmndrod when tempted to speak an angry word woidd save a man a great deal of trouble. This statement sounded a little singular tit first, but the more he read it over the more favourably he became impressed with it, and filially concluded to adopt it. Next door to "Reubens lives a man who had made five distinct attempts in the past fortnight to secure a dinner of green jieas, by election day, and every time lie has been retarded by Reuben's hens. The next morning after Reubens had made his resolution, this man found his fifth attempt to have miscarried. Then he called on Reubens. He said : "AVhat iv thunder do you mean by letting your hens tear up my garden ': " Jieubens was prompted to call him a mudsiioot, a new name just coming into general use, but he remembered his resolution, put down his rage, and meekly observed — "One, two, three, four, live, six, seven, eight—" Then the mad neighbor, who had been eying this answer with a great deal of suspicion, broke in again,— "AVhy don't you answer my question, you rascal ': '' But still Reubens maintained his equanimity, and went on with the test. "Nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen —" The mad neighbor stared harder than ever. "Seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty, twenty-one—" "You're a mean skunk," said the mad neighbor, backing towards the fence. Reubens's lace Hushed at this charge, but lie only said— "Twenty-one, twenty-two, twenty-three, twenty-four, twenty-five, twenty-six—'' At this figure the neighbor got up on the fence in some haste but suddenly thinking of his peas, he opened his mouth— "You mean, low-lived rascal: for two cents I could knock your cracked head over a barn, and I would—•" " Twenty-seven, twenty-eight," interrupted Reubens, "Twenty-nine, thirty, thirty-one, thirty-two, thirty-three—" Here the neighbor broke for the house, and entering it, violently slammed the door behind him, but Reubens did not dare letirp on the enumeration, and so he stood out there alone in his own yard, and kept on counting, while his burning cheeks and Hashing eyes eloquently affirmed his judgment. AVhen he got up into the eighties Ids wife came to the door in some alarm. "AVhy, Reubens, man what is the matter with your" she said, "Do come into the house." But lie didn't let up. She came out to him, and clung tremblingly to him, but he only looked into her eyes, and said — " Ninety-three, iniiety-four, ninety-five, ninety-six, ninety-seven, ninety-eight, ninety-nine, one hundred —go into the house, old woman, or I'll bust ye .'"' And she went.—American paper.