ADVICE TO GIRLS.

Daily Telegraph (Napier), Issue 3195, 24 September 1881, Page 1 (Supplement)

ADVICE TO GIRLS.

In the first place, remember that you are ladies, and therefore entitled to such little courtesies as the gentlemen havo the power to bestow. Never return thanks for any of these attentions. Why should you thank gentlemen for giving you what is already yours by right of sex.

Eemember, also, that a pretty hand is one of woman's chiefest charms. Never assist your mother in household duties. It doesn't so much matter how her hand is sprawled out by hard work. She is out of the market.

As it is a standing article of your faith, that men are all fools, you do right in fitting yourself for their companionship. Learn to be as like them as possible. They seem generally to be in love with themselves, and it naturally follows that they must admire anything that reminds them of the object of their love.

Make yourself proficient in slang language. It is awfully jolly, and can be acquired by the shallowest-brained ones among you. It is useful in all varieties of conversation, and by frequent use it will prevent tiresome talkers boring you to death, with their profundities.

When in company or any public place, get together, two or three of you, and giggle consumedly. This will show your vivacity. Vivacity is an excellent thing in a woman.

Among women, whispering will serve you, but among men, talk right out. It is your duty to be attractive, and by loud talking you attract attention more easily than by any other means. Two young ladies in a rail-car are sometimes so attractive that not n> newspaper can be read by any one of the men passengers.

Never read anything solid, anything requiring thought. Thought brings wrinkles, and wrinkles are horrid.

There is no need of your knowing anything. If you should become wise, you might, when married, discover your husband to be a fool. It is much better for him to think you one. You will live all the happier

JSever mind the inside of your nead, so that the outside is attractive. Wouidn and pictures are intended for admiration. Who ever heard of a picture pouring over musty old books.

Woman is the weaker vessel. Never take exercise. 3t might give you muscles, -ten dislike strong-bodied almost as much as they do strong-minded women. It seems to detract from their own strength. When you are married your husband will furnish you with the funds for dyspepsia remedies. So you need not be anxious on that score. .

Never mind what your mother Bays against flirting, There is no occasion for her to, indulge in that kind of fun. When a strange man accosts you in the street or remarks on you in an audible tone, giggle with all your might, and look round once or twice, and when you catch his eye, giggle again. It is fine fun, and by adopting this course you will have plenty of it. In your clothing always strive to be 'tony.' Never mind your health. Better be dead than out of style. Besides, the doctor must have a living. If you should all dress as sensibly as men half of the medical profession would starve to death, and the other half be forced to take refuge in the poorhouse. Always go to church. It is a splendid place to show your bonnet. In order that nebody shall miss seeing it make yourself as conspicuous as possible. You can do this by rustling the leaves of the hymn-book, playing with your fan, jingling your bangles, and constantly turning about in your pew. If you are employed in a store never talk of anything but shop when outside of it. No matter whether others enjoy it or not. So long as you are interested, what matter ? Do not other people talk of things in which you are wholly uninterested ? While neglecting your health so far as dressing is concerned, be watchful in another direction. Remember that sleep is Nature's sweet restorer. Therefore, lie abed till eight o'clock in the morning. Your mother will see that your breakfaet ia ready for you long before you are ready for it. Wear bangs, high heels, close-fitting corsets, and all kindred abominations.

Chew gum. Follow these directions, and you "will in time marry BOine fool and be miserable ever after.