SOME CURIOUS EPITAPHS.

Daily Telegraph (Napier), Issue 3032, 15 March 1881, Page 4

SOME CURIOUS EPITAPHS.

Playing with language, experimenting on tho meanings of words, punning on duplicate or triplicate significations, giving a sarcastic rub to those who are no longer in a position to return the favour, displaying ignorance in attempts to manifest wit—are more abundant in the preparation of Fpitaphs than the world generally supposes. All is not solemnity and sorrow in the thoughts of the concoctors of these effusions. Sometimes a pun or play on the name is introduced : such a3 in tbe epitaph on John White i Here lies John', a shining' light, Whose name, life, actions, all were "White. The following was rather epigrammatic than epitaphic, in regard to the Eev. John Chest: Beneath this spot lies hurled One chest within another; The outer chest was aU that's good : Who says so of the other ? William Wilton, buried in Lambeth, certainly did not write the epitaph, which, bears relation to him : Hwelveth 7/. W., Who never more will trouble you, trouVe you. Nor, we may safely assert, did Owen Moore himself pen the following : Owe* Mockb is gone away, f'wio' nioro than he could pay. More likely to be genuine are those epitaphs which involve a bit of bad logic, syntax, or grammar in their composition. In a graveyard of Montrose is said to be the following : Here lies the bodies of George Young and all their posterity For fifty years backwards. And in Wrexham churchyard as follows : Here lies five babies and children dear, Three at Oswestry, and two here. Akin to this in logic blundering is : Here lies the remains of Thomas Milsolin, who died in Philadelfhia, March 1873; Had he liver! he would have Been buried here. And another at Nettlebed in Oxfordshire : Here lies Father and Mother and Sister and I; We nil died within tho space of one short j'car; We be all buried at Wimole except I; And I be buried here. _ Others again are delightfully circumstantial, as that on John Adams : Here 'ies John Adams, who received a thump, Right on the forehead from the parish pump. Or a touch of jollity in them, as this from Newbury churchyard: Here lays John with Mary his bride— Thoy lived and they 1 .allied while they was able, Aid at last wns obliged to knock under the table.

So many jokes were fired off at the late Sir William Curtis —an alderman distinguished for defective education and bad grammar—that we need not feel surprised at an epitaph couched thus : Here lies William Curtis Our late Lord Mayor, Who has left this here world, And gone to that there. A useful hint is wrapped up in the following:— Died of thin shoe?, January 1839. Many epitaphs seem to ho intended to enlighten the public on some point which the friends of the deceased deem of importance. An epitaph on Ann Jennings, of Wolstanton, tells us that Some have children, some have none : Here Iks the mother ol twenty-one A double epitaph, records the mournful tale thus:— Here lies two brothers by misfortune surrounded ; One died of his wounds, the other was drownded. A fatal disaster could hardly be recorded in briefer form than the following: Horn )ie3 John Ros?, Kicked by a hiss Nor could a religious sentiment have been more curtly and sarcastically expressed than as under: Here lies the body of Gabriel John, Who died in seventeen hundred and one; Pray for the soul ol Gabriel John—

If you don't like it you can let it alone ; 'Tis all the same to Gabriel John, Who died in soventoen hundred and one. Or suggestively laconic, .is in the following from Saint Michael's, Crooked Lane : Here lies, wrapped in clay, " ' The body of William Bay ; I have no more to say. Sarcastic epitaphs, not necessarily involving a pun on the name, are, we suspect seldom to be found really engraved on tombstones ; and only in some cases written by relations of the deceased. If Dryden really wrote tho epitaph on his wife, attributed to him, and which he intended for her tombstone, had he outlived her, he must indeed have felt and owod her but littlo affection : Here lies my wife ; here let her lie ; She's now at rest, and so am I. One Mrs Shute gave occasion, we are told for the following: Here lies, cut down like unripe fruit, 1 he wife of Deacon Amus Shute; She died of drinking too much coffee, Army Dominy eighteen lorty. James Wyatt of course took no part in th c concoction of this effusion : At rest beneath this churchyard stono Lies stingy Jemmy Wyatt; "."A" He died one morning iust at ton, Z?A"'" And saved a dinner by it. Tho occupation of a dyer has suggested many epitaphs of an obvious character, such as : He dyed to live, and lived to dye. Also : He died himself and dyed no mora.