PA'S PATENT GATE.

Daily Telegraph (Napier), 10 March 1881, Page 4

PA'S PATENT GATE.

A pale-faced anxious-looking man, who looks as though ho supped with sorrow every week, lives out on Worth Hill with his wife and seven lovely blooming daughters. He has, with all these seven lovely daughters, only ono front gate, and that is what makes him pale. Last summer he spent $217 repairing that front gate, patting in new ones, and experimenting with various kinds of hinges ; and after all that the gate swung all through the winter on a leather strap and a piece of clothesline, and there was peace in tho household, and the man grew fat. But, when the April days were nigh, it soon bocamo apparent to the man that his troubles were at hand, and anxiety soon drove the roses from his damask cheeks and robbed Lis ribs of their substance. Ho used to climb over the back fence to avoid calling attention to the disreputable-looking old gate, but his self denial was of no avail.

One evening his eldest daughter, Sophronia, said :—

' Pa, that horrid old gate is tho most disgusting tiling on this street. If you can't afford to have it fixed I'll take it away and put up a stile.'

And Pa only groaned. But an evening or so later his youngest daughter came in, and said, with considerable warmth :—

' Pa! I wish you had that beastly old gate tied to your neck, that's what I wisli!'

And she dissolved in tears and evaporated upstairs in a misty cloud, while her sisters followed slowly, casting reproachful looks at Fa.

And the next evening, his third daughter, Azalea, came bouncing into tho room about 9.30., with her gloves in a condition to indicate that sho had been patting gravel, and said with some energy, that if Pa had no feeling other people had, and sho wished she was dead, she did, and she hoped that tho hateful old gate he'd fall from Arch

street to the bridge, so she did. And she broke down and disappeared with a staccato accompaniment of sobs and sniffles. And the ncx'. time that Pa went out of that gate lie found it prostrate between ! ;•' two posts, and saw that iiie fr;-''le cf the clothe- ■■;<:. "Lvl ;;. L-xd 'uiiJci' yr.i..: extract ■•":'.:.t;■■ ■";•!• • ■■: .ivh. •■'. n;l T::ii.l T'J what ailed .'..,.!■■■ ;':- .■/•!: ■■■• ;.v. IV -;•/•'. I Ln-ro .vas nofchincr for it but a new gale, and groaned aloud as as he viewed the dreary prospect of furnishing gates to support the manly forms of the best young men of Burlington for another summer. He pondered, and pondered, and pondered. He became the confidant of carpenters ; he was often seen guiltily showing certain plans and drawings to blacksmiths and cunning workers in iron and steel. And in due time he had a new gate np, a massive gate, with great posts, ornamented and substantial, and the seven sisters were pleased. They read in the little brass-plate that informed them that a patent was applied for the words ' for 130 pounds.' but they didn't know what it meant until last evening. Last evening the weather, though sufficiently cool to be bracing, admitted a test of the new gate. A murmur of voices arose from the vicinity of that popular lovers' retreat, as Sophronia swung idly to and fro on its heavy frame. Presently a pale-faced man, who held his hand upon his breast to still his beating heart, as he crouched in a dark corner of the porch, heard Rodolphus say. "Rut, believe me, Sophronis, my own heart's idol, between the touches of the rude hand of ti—"

As lie began the word he leaned forward and bent his weight i.yon the gate, and, with a sharp click, a little trap door in the side of tho post flew open and a gaunt many-jointed arm of steel, with an iron knob as big as a Virginia gourd on the end of it. flew out, and, with the rapidity of lightning, hit Rodolphus two resounding pelts between the shoulders that resounded like a brass drum explosion. "Oh—h—h! gosh!" he roared, "I'm stabbed! I'm stabbed !" and without waiting to pick up his hafc he fled, shrieking for the doctor, while Sophronia rushed into the house crying: " Pa! pa! pa! Rodolphus is shot!" and swooned.

The pale-faced man said nothing, but shrank still further back into the shadow, and thrust his handkerchief into his mouth to stifle a smile. Pretty soon ho knew the voice of his daughter Azalea at the gate saying good night. But a rich manly voice detained her, and the measured swing of the gate was again heard in the distance. Soon he heard Lorenzo say as he made ready to climb the gate : "But whatever of sorrow may be our future, clear one, I would it might fall upon me—"

And just as lie lifted his last foot from tho ground the trap opened and the gaunt arm reached out and fell upon him with that big knob four times, and every time it reached .him Lorenzo shrieked,

" Bleeding heart! O mercy, mercy, Mr Man! Oh, murder!" And he ambled away in the starlight, wailing for arnica. Azalea, fled wildly to her homo shrieking, " Oh, Pa! Pa! Pa! Somebody is murdering Lorenzo."

Ami on the perch a pale-faced man thrust the rim of his felt hat into his mouth to reinforce his handkerchief, and hugged himself into placid content. Pretty soon the man's fifth daughter came home from a party, and she too perched on the gate. And in a moment or two Alphonso said, " But, my own Miriam, Miriam, would I could tell you what I feel —"

But he didn't, for just as he leaned upon the gate the gaunt arm reached out and felt iron, and knocked his breath so far out of him that he couldn't shriek until he had run half a mile from the house screaming that Lorenzo had a fit. And the pale-faced man rose up out of the shadow and emptied his mouth, and as he stood under the quiet starlight looking at the gate whose powerful but delicate mech:-.:iism repelled an ounce of weight over 1301b, a look of ineffable peace stole over the pale face, and the smilo that rested on the quiet features told that the struggle of a lifetime was ended in victory, and a gate had been discovered that couid set at nought the oppression of thoughtless young people.—Burlington Hawkeye.