RANDOM NOTES

Dominion, Volume 32, Issue 152, 23 March 1939, Page 8

RANDOM NOTES

Sidelights On Current Events (By Kickshaws). It seems that new conscripts to the Reich who won’t work have the choice of arrest. • • • One used to hear a lot about the concert of Europe, 'but just at the moment the music seems mostly monopolised by the big drums.

A man making his eleventh trip round the world says he is following the sun. This fails to explain how he gets back to New Zealand. # » •

Regarding the cost of shoeing a horse at a certain specified rate discussed recently in this column numerous readers have pointed out that a horse has only seven nails per shoe, making a total of 28 not 32 as in the problem. Kickshaws is well aware of this fact. Nevertheless, for mathematical shoeing of horses a total of 32 nails has become almost traditional. Maybe the reason is that if mathematics allowed a horse to have only 28 nails, as it has in fact, the cost of the twenty-eighth nail would be only £139,810/2/8 instead of a couple of millions, as it is at the thirty-second, nail. The total cost, therefore, would be a matter of only a few hundred thousand pounds instead of several millions, which would not be nearly so spectacular.

Our sympathy is extended to the motorist who stated that he thought the cabalistic sign “P-NP” that has sprung up everywhere in the streets meant “Parking Not Prohibited.” Maybe some day the authorities Will print a dictionary giving the meaning of the host of curious letter combinations. These no doubt mean something to somebody but very little to most normal folk. Indeed, as things stand at the moment, how are we to know that the meaning of a collection of letter initials will remain the same from one day to another. It is quite possible that even “P-N.P.” might have its meaning changed overnight, to the very grave concern of those few who thought they knew what it did mean. After all a series of initials may have very different meanings to different people. A mathematician, when he saw “P-NP” would naturally think he was asked to subtract NP from P, where N was a constant or as is usually the case a number of things. A normal citizen, on the other hand, when he sees these curious letterings quite possibly would remark that he didn’t learn algebra at school and wasn’t going to start now.

Nobody would fling an algebraic formula at one and expect one to know what it was all about. Yet we have reached a stage where a jumble of-let-ters is supposed to mean things. Years of silent striving on the part of the more earnest citizens of Wellington have caused them to appreciate that W.C.C. inscribed on things and places means Wellington' City Corporation, though there is still a lingering sentiment that the last letter means council. Nevertheless, the alphabet is tending to become unruly. We put up with such things as Ogpus and 0.K., but the A.B.C. of the C.C.C. or the A.A.A., takes one into alphabetical excursions bordering on a new language. Most of us could hazard a guess as to the implications of the M.C.C., but we would at once be in deep water over the M.C.C.C.; it looks suspiciously like a date made by some Roman Senator with one of his girl friends. We can distinguish the 8.8. C. from just plain 8.C., but the 8.8.8. C. is another matter, seeing that it refers to the British Board of Boxing Control. Oh, well, Amtorg, Fera, Ugtpc, Fia, Pep, Hsdap, Bif. ♦ ♦ ♦ It is noted that New Zealanders are being asked to consider the selection of national emblems so that the matter may be settled in time for the centenary. This is a most important matter, and Kickshaws hopes that readers will spend at least half an hour every day considering it. When the United States of America was considering the merits of a national emblem, the oil palm etune in for a whole heap of thought. Others considered that the swallow would be a better emblem when prohibition was in force; it registered something that was missing from the national life. We have very little palm oil in this country, and, as for swallows, so far they have failed to make a summer. It would be asking too much of the summer of 1940 to add this complication to a year bristling with problems. The choice of a national emblem or two. and the discovery of the soundness of sound shells, arc quite enough. ' * * • The choice of a national emblem or two for New Zealand usually lies between the selection of some suitable bird and some suitable flower. This rules out something artistic in crossed beer bottles or an elaboration of anything connected with spirits. As we all know, there are still some birds left in New Zealand. The choice, therefore, lies as to the merits of the sparrow or the starling. It might be argued that neither of these are New Zealand birds. For that matter, no bird in New Zealand can be considered essentially New Zealand, as the bird must have come from somewhere. Some folk say that some of our New Zealand birds have come straight from the lizard family, carrying out all their changes in fashion exclusively iu New Zealand. The merits of this faithfulness to the import regulations will at once be acclaimed by manufacturing interests. Under the circumstances, we consider that where birds are involved New Zealand’s national emblem should be a tuatara. This beast has the added advantage of having an eye on the top of its head.

The matter of selecting a liowcr to serve as a national emblem for New Zealand simply bristles with insuperable difficulties. Obviously, it would be no good to select a flower, however suitable, if it had a name so long that nobody could remember it. Folk would simply say liliuni something or other when asked what was their national emblem. Fortunately, the smaller the flower usually the longer its name. A small flower, however perfect, would be no good, because one does not want 'to have to carry around a microscope so that friends can be shown our national emblem. We want a flower that may be seen advertising New Zealand at every turn, or, at any rate, at every other turn, o’er hill and dale, paddock and vast, open space. There is only one flower that does this sort of thing. Indeed, there is only one flower that is really well known in New Zealand. We suggested that the little yellow ragwort fulfils every attribute of a national flower. Besides, what could be more beautiful?

Would renders kindly note that Kickshaws is unable to answer questions related to the Social Security Scheme? At present he is being inundated with these questions. If lie were to answer them'all the column would consist almost entirely of replies.