WITHOUT PREJUDICE

Dominion, Volume 21, Issue 117, 15 February 1928, Page 10

WITHOUT PREJUDICE

NOTES AT RANDOM

[During the absence on holiday of “T.D.H.,” “Notes at Random” be contributed by. “Wi.”l \ Scot (reading humorous weekly, 011 holiday) : “Jock, d’ye notice wha’ a’J ot o’ jokes they mak’ aboot Scotsmen ieiff’ mean?” Jock (dourly); “Aye—all at cur expense.” American excitement over the Navy and Army Budgets lend interest to the following surprising statistics concerning the United States land forces:— The forces of the Republic include 59,686 non-commissioned officers and only 59,061 privates, a state of affairs which must surely cause heartburning among the 622 non-coms, who find themselves without even .a private apiece. The proportions, however, compare favourably with those in the army of Haiti. An inquiry into the numerical strength of Haiti under arms disclosed the fact that the black Republic possessed 65A) privates, supervised by 7000 regimentill officers, commanded by 6500 . generals. General was the most coveted of all titles. But the military rank did not always entail military duties, for there were generals of departments, generals of arrondissements, and even a general of the Women’s Prison-< This gardener’s rule applies to youth and age: . . When young s°' v wild oats, but- when old gro"' sage. —H. J. Byron. are now busy cutting their grass, the noise of the mowing ulac qihe is heard throughout the countpaide. The sound of this mechanism S' now regarded as truly rural, but when it was introduced into the hayfields, scarcely more than a generation ago, it was heard with disfavour by lovers of the country, as bringing into the fields something of the whirr of the factory wheels. In ousting the scythemah the mowing machine has removed a picturesque figure of high antiquity, one who took pride in his work and who was capable of great feats of endurance. They were giant mowers in the last century, and tales of their prowess were heard in every village inn. One of the most famous was James Burrow, of Kirkby Stephen, who died about seven years ago, at the age of 82. In his young days he was t regarded as unrivalled. The only iftower who could approach him was a [ipjghbour named James Littlefair. It Recorded that these two on one occasion had a quarrel, and being set to mow a\ lar S e Bi- a cre field, each grimly determifl£ d that ke would keep on mowinir until the other dropped out with fatigv e - They started on the meadow at 3 o’clock in the morning, and went on'hi su ll en silence, mowing against each other in dogged determination the whole day until finally, by sundown tKY had felled the whole 8| acres.

There has been inpther Cherry Vailey massacre in the united States. The first was a tragic aff?. lr °t the Indian davs. This recent oil® concerned a public protest over road by the Minute Men of Cherry Va'P.ey turnpike. The Cherry Valley Tmnp.’ ke r ° ad ] ’ as the reputation of being one?-, °t the finest pieces of highway construction in America. From one eld of thi§ smooth thoroughfare to the other citizens take special pride in thrir transportation trial, and make boasts of its scef.'c effects. The country throughout enjoys a diversity of Attractions, and in some regions the view is open to travellers for miles. With the increase -°t traffic on the broad highway came v. ,e pirate signposters, first singly, then iU groups, followed by a veritable influx. Trees began to bear.strange fruit, and many an ash and oak sprouted unsightly pine boards well covered with garish announcements. Ugly burdens were forced upon- fence posts, whne strange wooden creatures and obstructs ing billboards appeared overnight in fields. i

The murmurs of complaints swelled into a roar throughout the territory, then the Minute Men of Cherry Valley decided that hour of enough had sounded. A modern Raul Revere, mount-, ed on a high-powered car, started away on a tocsin trip and finished in just about the same time as it took the. Revolutionary hero to “spread the alarm,” although the present-day courier covered much more mileage. At the call, the Turnpike dwellers darted from their garages in well-fueled vehicles Axes were piled into tonneaus, with here and there a crowbar to meet emergency. The spirit of battle seethed in the’ air, while water boiled in the radiators. Speed limits vanished in the cloudy night. * • *

“The casualties among sign?,” relates the storyteller, “rolled, into ■ a new record for splinters. Crashing, cracking, and. hewing je-echoed throughout that fair land,.-- and., the energy expended brought blisters to manv eager, but inexperienced, hands. When the morning sun climbed over a clump of‘tall trees to'resume dailv duties, as per schedule, an unusual sight was revealed. Stacked high on tlie town common were piles of unauthorised signs, which had been wrenched from their perches. Boards that a few hours before had proclaimed to the world that 'Perspiring. Pups were awaiting public ownership ,in exchange for the modest sum of five cents lav prone, with shattered surfaces and parts of letters chopped away. Flaring wooden posters sprawled upside down, colours blotched and portions of their missions missing. Legless imitations of animals were propped against the pyres, their, rigid heads mutilated . beyond recognition. Hither and yon . a mannikin, flayed of paint, stood’ at attention. Oblongs of tin, wrenched into ripples, protruded at queer angles from crevices and corners. . .

“All dav the spoils of victory furnished material for public rejoicing. Children joined hands and danced abo t the piles, singing nigh-pitched songs of triumph. Elderly folk, whojiad found the handicap of age too gre.t to permit them to assist in the forai, shouted congratulations, while t wear? Minute Men slept. E'en visit ing motorists had a part in the jub> . - tion, and honking of horns . re - e ' ch °?“ over hill and dale. That night. tl* official celebration was staged I marked the first annual meeting of the Cherry Valiev Turnpike Association, with'three hundred members present • Torches were put to the heaps of signs, and as the flames crackled and roared skyward choruses of . praise were intoned to the chiming of bells. “What size bank is the one you work in?” . “Well, it takes a good story two weeks to get from the manager back to the manager.” Fisherman’s Luck: “I think the man vou married is a fine-looking fellow.” “Ah, but you should have seen the one that got away.” THE WAY OF THE WORLD. Some laugh, while others mourn; Some toil, while others play.; One dies, and one is bom: So runs the world away. —Samuel Wesley.