EXPLAINING THE IRISH

Dominion, Volume 14, Issue 60, 4 December 1920, Page 9

EXPLAINING THE IRISH

(By James Dunn, an Irishman, in tho

"Daily Mail.")

One of these days there will be a settlement of the Irish problem—in the valley of Jehosoijlial. The difference between an Englishman and an Irishman is the Irishman.

An angry Englishman is usually dangerous; an angry Irishman is always eloquent.

An Irishman cannot iiell an anecdote; he imparts a serial story.

Slimy Scotsmen are bankrupt because they believe that the Irish had no capacity for business.

A silent Irishman is as harmless as a ■powder magazine built over a match fafclory.

An Irishman deprived of a grievance against England is robbed' of his birthriglui. The best thing about an Irishan'lrish woman.

When an Englishman makes a joke somebody laughs. When an Irishman jokes somebody suffers. When an Englishman' hurts your feelings he may apologise. When an Irishman ' apologises he always liurts your feelings. ■

You : cannot'force an Irishman to eat liis dinner, but you can persuade him to commit suicide.

England is a pawnshop where the Irish pledge piist grievances—and sell the tickets.

Ireland is suffering from a slur on its •future,

The Irish don't haib the English because they are English; they dislike them because they are not Irish.

The English have always governed Ireland with a monosle in their accent.

An Englishman who tries io understand the. Irish -will have one foot in the nursery and the oiuier in a lunatic 'asylum.-

Everybody listens to an Irishman—except another Irishman.

The Irish believo in fairies, but barRain in pigs. The English and the Irish are very much alike; but the Irish are more so.

An Englishman will_ kill you with a curse; an Irishman with an apology. When Ireland is peaceful it will be a land not perhaps of saints, but certainly of cemeteries.