COLLECTING AH CHO'S INCOME TAX

Dominion, Volume 11, Issue 304, 12 September 1918, Page 7

COLLECTING AH CHO'S INCOME TAX

PERPLEXmES IN A WAR FACTORY

AN AMUSING SKETCH

In Britain the maximum abatement for incotno tax has been reduced to £120. : Ah Cho, who, with about three hundred of his imported fellow-coun-trymen, worked in a munition factory. Ah Clio, though ho did not earn enough to buy two grand pianos and a fur coat, received over forty pouiids during a certain quarter, and consequently becamo liable to income tax. So did a number of tho rest of his ■ countrymen. The local surveyor of taxes received from the firm a list which included a choice assortment of . Oriental names of workmen and wages. Being a conscientious official, ho assessed each man according to his emoluments. ■ , ' .The trouble began wnen the collector tried to collect the taxes. Neither Ah Cho nor any-of his colleagues responded' to the demand notes. Possibly this was; because the authorities had neglected .to print "R.S.V.P." in tho corner (tlio suggestion is offered quite gratuitously), but more probably because tlio notices were printed in English.. The collector triod his luck at tho works, and was confronted with three hundred bland faces and a. total lack of spoken English. Ho reported to tho surveyor. "It's a difficulty." said the surveyor. "Doubtless they don't understand the notices or tie tax." "Some of 'em .must speak a litt'o English," said tho' collector. .."The firm couldn't carry on without." ' • "See if yon cim get hold of one of them," said tho" surveyor. "Ask him if he will kindly distribute a frosh lot of notices, and also ask him to bo good enough to explain to tho others that it's a national tax on their wages." Tlio collector worked marvels, and finally managed to iutorview one Yun ' Ling, who could mangle the King's English with superlative politeness. Yes, Yun Ling .would distribute fresh notices, and explain the matter to the others if his own tax were remitted. "All right," said tho surveyor. "Tell him I'll cancel- his own' assessment." The collector stared. "I'll assess him double next quarter," added the surveyor, who ivas nothing if not ingenious.' 1 The collector, appreciated this as a masterstroke. After a fortnight he reported that Yun Ling had sworn by all . the images of Buddha that he had explained tho nifitter,fully., By way of oath he had solemnly broken a saucer. Two months .passed, however, and none of the taxes was paid. The surveyor began toget annoyed.. "Can, you get any private addresses?" he asked. ' "I got ono or two," replied the collector, "but they live in'fifth-rate lodg- ' ing-houses, and they've nothing to distrain on." . "You might get an order from the magistrates." i , "I might," said the collector, "if I could identify any of 'em with certainty'. But how do I know who's ivho? Lots of names are very much alike, and as for their ugly faces, dozens of 'em might be peas out of the same pod. Tho firm won't give me any assistance." ' , • v . Tho surveyor, as I remarked, was a conscientious man,'and lie determined that something must be dono. So he decided that Ah Cho, who owed the most tax, must be interviewed and, firmly told that he must pay it. Failing that, he was to be told the consequences, and, if necessary, made ah example to the others by 'a magistrate's order. ; "Who's to pay for an interpreter?" (lemurred the aggriorcd . collector. "There's nothing in my official instructions about Chinese interpreters." "Engage one, anyhow," said tho surveyor. Hjs blood was up. . ; So it befell that the surveyor, collector, and an interpreter journeyed to the works to interview Ah Clio and company. The foreman made a comprehensive sweep of the arm. "Take your pick," ho said gruffly. No, he didn't know where Yun Ling was, and didn't care. He—the foreman—was busy. His only desire was to see Yun Ling and brethren suspended from lamp-posts.' The interpreter mot to work. Several Chinese volunteered their names, but by a singular, coincidence, none of them wero taxable. The. men were constantly shifting obout, and the. interpreter presently discovered he va's interviewing the same man twice. His temper was not improved by this. At length, hpwwer, lie announced he had found All Cho. "Show him this demand note, and

tell him all about it," said tlio surveyor. The interpreter, got to. work again. Ho was n'good man, nnd lie meant to earn his money. He dilated on> earned income, and became eloquent about abatements; ho went into the history of income' tax, and.finally descended to Ah Clio's particular case. The man listened with an impassive countenance; at length he uttered a guttural grunt. ■ ■ Tlio interpreter wiped his brow and beamed triumphantly. "Ho understands," ho announced. ' "Will ho pay?" asleep the collector. The interpreter turned to the Chimiman and spoke again, 'l'he latter bccamo unexpectedly fluent tor a minute. The interpreter's brow knitted; he uttered bad language and dismissed the mail. . ' "His iiam'e is Ah Chow," lie muttered gloomily. A depressed trio approached tho toreman. "Look here," said the surveyor persuasively, "you, or somebody here, must bo able to identify tlieso chaps. \ Otherwise you-couldn't pay them properly." "Quite right, mister," said tho foreman, who was in a better humour. "Wo {rob into a frightful mess at first. Wun Wee would come*for his money, and then we'd discovor that .Wun Wee, or somebody answering to it, had already been paid—somebody who didn't earn as much, of course. Then, if anybody was off sick, somobody else would come up and get paid • twice over., 'But wo soon knocked all that on the head. Each man has a numbered disc now, and we go by that. No disc, no pay." . Tho trio wended it's way home. From a corner of tho workshop Ah Clio watchcd them go ' without moving a muscle of his face. He know perfectly well why they wero there; had lie not overheard tlicm interviewing Ah Chow P The ghost of a n Orienta 1 wink drifted across to Yun Ling, who had mysteriously appeared from nowhere in particular. • "Which I «'ish to remark, and my languagp is plain . . . " said the surveyor. .; "Perhaps they're not really liable," said the collector soothingly. "Most of 'em have got ten or a dozen children, I expect." Tho surveyor of'taxes reached his office, and took out one of tho assessment books.' Opposite each of tho assessments on Chinese munitioners ho wrote firmly in red ink, "Gone, tinknown."—"R.H.," in the "Manchester Guardian."