IDIOMS OF BOWLS

Dominion, Volume 10, Issue 2977, 15 January 1917, Page 6

IDIOMS OF BOWLS

(By W.H.) ,_ A friend with tho kindliest intentions invited mo up to witness some of the games in 'the Dominion Bowling Association's tournament then in progress at tho Wellington Club's green. I have a sound knowledge of cricket, I can follow the intricacies of Rugby, and am able to score at tonnis, but have never interested myself sufficiently in bowls further than to know that a player shoots his bowl at a little white ball, of the sex of winch players themselves differ, as somo call it "Jack" and others "Kitty." Having a couplo of hours to spare after luncheon, I accepted The invitation, and was soon lounging in a garden seat alongside an almost perfect sward. Then my trouble commenced, for I always like to understand a game I am watching, and, if possible, to master, its terms, but after an h«ur I confess that my mind was considerably obfuscated by the curious idioms of the game. I was watching an' exceedingly stout gentleman with a 50-inch .waist deliver a howl, when to my great astonishment tho man at the other end shouted out: "You're much too thin—narrow as a Presbyterian!" This was a distinct libel on tho. bowler, who was a 17-stoner. Not two minutes later a very thin man with a sun-fried face shot a bowl, and the same man said—"You're too wide —you take too much paddock.' Be a good deal thinner nest time and trail 'kitty' to my foot." Here was a confusion of terms. In the first place the man was as thin,as ho could be, and looked as if he were ;hort of grass rather than guilty of taking too much paddock. I" waited for enlightenment, and it came when the thin man who was too wide knocked "kitty" along the green without the slightest Tespect for her. _ "Hullo, Jack, this is one for tho suburbs!" said one skip as a bowl rolled wide away from the jack. "What about an extension of the tramways to you ?" At which some of ;those with a full understanding laughed raucously. At the next attempt one skin was evidently puzzled as to what to do. An enemy bowl had rested just beside the one that was nearest the jack. At last, after scratching his head, he said quite seriously:—"Come up on this hand, and crack an egg on it!" As there were no eggs available, and if there were it would be a messy thing to do to crack an egg ou a bowl, tho player took no notice of the injunction, but just slung his bowl up and knocked the one to bo'"egged" out of the way, whereupon the skip clapped his hands vigorously as.though insisting upon an encore. « ' "Burn the jack!" Good heavens, why should such vandalism take place on so beautiful a lawn, I thought, and moved round to witness the blaze, but there was no fire and nothing was burnt. All I saw was a tall University professor smack tho white ball into tlie ditch a long wav away. "Put in a Paisley!" The injunction appeared to me to open up a new field of conjecture, as I never- heard of a Paisley meaning anything else but a lady's shawl, so I moved round to ascertain what was meant. "What is a Paisley?" I asked a like-ly-looking man on the bank. "Oh—it means to be a bit 'Scotch' or cannie," he replied. "How d'ye mean?" I insisted, still a bit foggy. "To fall a bit short with your bowl in the track that your opponent is likely to follow." That I found to be tho case, and, strange to relate, the "Paisley" that was played had the desired effect. It was tho "Scotchest" thing imaginable to do. There was never a doubt about it. ''You're doon the brae!" said a Duncdin player as a lively bowl shot across tho green in-front of the jack. The expression, I found, indicated a bowl that was played without allowing enough "paddock" for the effect of the bias of the bowl. "I want a yard-gone shot on tho back-hand—not too much green, and keep off that timber in tho front—to' lio about here." At this stage I gave it up, and came away.