A LITTLE LOAN

Dominion, Volume 9, Issue 2854, 19 August 1916, Page 11

A LITTLE LOAN

FOR BIS COUNTRY'S SAKE (By "Wi.") I was drinking morning tea with Vassar the other day when aji idea occurred to mo. "Vassar," I said, "have you got any money to lend?" Vassar had his mouth full of toast at the time. He gulped it down, swallowed some tea; and shook his head, assuming at the same time an expression of countenance which suggested that his last mouthful of toast had disagreed with him. "Sorry, old man," he said earnestly, "I don't know anyone that I'd sooner lend a fiv " I laughedi ' "Keep your hair on, old son," 1 said. "I'm not trying to touch you." "Oh " said he, in a voice which, intended to convey surprise, merely sounded suspiciously like relief. I may,have been wrong, of course. "Reverting to tho previous question," I said. "Havo you any spare cash you want to lend?" Vassar eyed mo doubtfully. <"1 might bo able to scrape up a few of tho best —what are up to, may I ask?" "I am looking for a few patriotic subscribers," I said. i "Another raffle?" "No. War Loan." I helped myself to another piece of toast. "Good investment for modest capitalists like you and me." "Don't know much About it," he said! . : . q . ,- "You've seen the posters and advertisements explaining the thing, ■ haven't you?" "Might, have seen 'em. Can't say I'vo studied 'em." Vassar affects tho cynical ennui of a map. about town. I regarded him with _ stern, disapproval. "Vassar,". I said, "you don't care whether wo win this war or'not, do you?" "Of course I do, you idiot. What's more, we're going to win." ' - "Well," said 1,."y0u don't seem to be interesting yourself much about how we. are going to do it!" "We're not short of men yet," ho protested,."Why worry about it? Have some more tea—and," ho added,, "for goodness sake stop cross-examining mo. I'm all-overish this morning—like a bit of chewed string." '~ "Vassar," 1 persisted, pitilessly, "don't you know that this war is costing tho'Old Country—and us—a frightful lot of money?" > Vassar sighed resignedly. "1 know — millions, billions, trillions, to the Xpower, as they say in algebra. Like water pouring out; of a busted dam." "And wb want more. Every time we wiii a big battle we 6hoot a young goldmine but of the guns. Every time wo ship a fresh lot of men off to the front up goes the current expense account. Now the country wants more money, and the Government turns round to you and mo and everybody else, and 1 asks for a loan. What are you going to do about it?" '-"It's up to us, of course," '• said Vassar.- "What do we do?"- ,- "Come round to the G;P.O. and I'll show you," said'l. _ . . Vassar picked up his-hat and stick and prepared to follow me. "Don't make it too hot, old man," he said, good-huraouredly. -'Tin next door to. being a pauper, you know." -."That's-all right," said I; "they woii't touch you' for more' than you can afford." When we got to' tho Post Offico wo found a fair crowd in front of the "What are \ all,these people doing there?" asked Vassar, with idle curiosity. "These, my ' friend," ' are patriotic money-lenders.- , They're investing their J hard-earned coin • in • the , '.War! Loan:"' Gilt-edged security,, four' and a half per cent." '"But tliey don't look like capitalists," said Vassar, who has been accustomed to associate money-lending with silk'hats, frock coats, and gold .watch-chains. ' ' . "No, they're not; and that's, just the great- part, of scTieme. You see, Vassal', there are two ' ways of giving the'country a lift over this particular financial, hurdle —they want eight millions, you know—and what you see now is tho small investor doing his bit! The big fish will get out after , tho bonds from fifty upwards, redeem-

able in fourteen or twonty-fivo years, and draw their interest every six mouths. But that doesn't interest us. We're small fry." "Too true," said Vassar, lugubrious"Well," I said, "we can go up to the cmrnter, plank down sixteen bob, and get a loan certificate worth twenty bob. Or wo can buy several at the same rate. Or we can pcrhaps_ scrape l up eight quidlets and receive in ox- - change certificate. The dif- , Terence between what we pay and what we will receive is equal to four and a t half per cent, of our money, reckoned - at compound interest, but wo can't ■r our money baok, or the interest, for - five years. D'ye see?" 1 "1 see," said Vassar, whimsically. ■•■ % 'And how am 1 going to live in the e meantime? It would be all right, you b know, to liavo a little bit of a surprise packet ooming along every now and , then to stave off your creditors with 3 as.a token of future favours to come." "What you'd get if you did draw - your interest every sis months wouldn't f bo enough to count, and, that being t so, you'd fritter it as sure as your nanio is George Henry Vassar. That's - one of the incidental blessings of the a scheme.- It says, in the first place, that if we call ourselves patriots, then 1 it is lip to ns to show it. Secondly, in r our eftort to prove it, wo are forced to ' exerciso a spirit of economy arid solf- ! denial-^—-" Vassar mado a. wry face. . "• L — and, thirdly, having inculcated E. these fundamental principles of thrift, ■ it demonstrates the value of them by s handing us, at the end of live years, more money than, we paid in. See?" i "Ayj mon. A hudna. bin twa days in London when bang went saxpence." That's the worst of Vassar. Ibelieve , v the man would jest' at his grand'mother's funeral. Howovcr, his heart's • in tho right place. Just then a man i approached us. , "Excuse me," he said, "is this where you. get into this ■ war loan business?" • ■'*2g) dded -- .'. Ho it now/' said Vassar, pleasantly.; -■ -, ;. ■ ■ i Tho man turned towards the counter. Then he stopped, and camo back. "I say," said he," "is that ■' right • that if I give tho Government four quid, I'll get'five quid back at the end i. of fivo years as well as four'n a 'alf interest on mo money?" ''Oh, no," said I. '."That would be coming it rather strong." . ''Well,'' said the man, "that's what one. fellow,, told me." .1 shook my bead. ''If they did 'that,, they would bo paying something like ten.and.a..half per cent, for their loan money. They would be paying you the interest'twice over. If they tried to raise a loan in London at that rato you'd mako a noise,, wouldn't y<"> ? " . ■.-."'" "Nothing surer," said he, '. as 'ho turned toward the counter, again, and bought his loan certificate. Standing close by was a little old. lady, who was counting into her purse a handful of silver mixed with tho darker hue of copper.. It was evidently all right, for she nodded to herself. Then she turned to us, with a smile. "I've got one pound twelve hero in silver and coppers," she said. "That'll buy me two one-pound certificates, won't it?" "Sure," said Vassar, politely. "Let me get 'em for,you." "Oh, thank you, if you.would—l feel rather nervous about it," And the . old lady beamed. "You know," she added, confidentially. "I have a grand-daughtqr who's at school just now. She'll be -twenty-one when tho five years is up, and it. will bf> a little present for her. I'm not very -well off, you know, but it will be something." "Good idea," said Vassar, "as ho went off. He returned shortly - with the certificates.' "Here you are," said he, "as easy, as falling off a log." Then,' hastily''. excusing'-', himself, :he m'hdp off down. the. steps and round the corner. I was about to follow him, wuen a startled exclamation stopped mc. The little old lady was looking at her certificates in some perplexity. '■1 think there must bo'some mistake," she said. "Anything wrong?" I inquired. "Your friend gavo me four certificates, and I only gave him .the money for two." | .... Vassar sometimes does that sort of thing. It's all right so.long as one doesn't liavo to do the explaining. "Ha —h'ml" I began, . shifting uncomfortably. / "I beg your pardon," said tho little oldlady. "You were saying?" "Oh—nothing," I said. "I suppose lie wanted to be in at the birthdav, too." ■ . ■-,--" Then I bolted. I found Sir Galahad round the corner, as I expected. "Well, Mr. Smarty?" "All right, old son," said Vassar. "I used to know her when I. was a kid, but sho's forgotten mo. That's sixteen boh you owo mo.'* Wb.ich._is another of Vassar's little eccentricities. >'. :