WHAT THE CENSOR SEES

Dominion, Volume 9, Issue 2747, 15 April 1916, Page 6

WHAT THE CENSOR SEES

' IN LETTERS FROM "TOMMY"

Describing tho activities of one f "Bobby Little" as censor, lan Hay, j writing for "Blackwood's," states that tho coveted "green envelopes" that 0 must enclose all sealed lotterSj and | whoso seal bears the -writer's signature under tlio oath, "I certify on my honour that the contents of this envelope refer to nothing but private and family matters," form the easiest por- j cion of the censor's labours. He has only to be sure that no bulky missive is addressed to someone —for example, tho editor of a London newspaper— who might not be interested in "private and family matters." Then comes the prying into the \msealed letters, in which duty the censor's conscienco is considerably 'put at rest by evidence that some of tlio writers rather enjoy than otherwise the prosepct of official perusal. Or, as ive read— Others cheerfully avail themselves of this opportunity of conveying advice or reproof to those above them, by means of • what the Royal Artillery call "indirect fire." Private Dunshie remarks. "We have been getting no pay these three' weeks, hilt I doubt the officer will know what has become of the money." It is the firm conviction of every private soldier in "Ki" (khaki) that all fines and deductions go straight into the pocket of the officer -who levies them. Private Hogg, always an optimist, opines: "The officers should know better how to treat us now, for they all get a read of our letters." The censor soon gains, certainly, a running knowledge of all the many and devious flirtations which Tommy carries oni in the face of possible immediate destruction. It is a happy day, fot example, that brings to light the fact that "Private Cosh," who has been Writing incessantly to no fewer- than four admiring females, has been deserted by one of them in favour of the local milkman (the" 1 slacker!) The difference that this rift will make to the censor is' appreciable. Thus heartened, he ploughs i steadily on through the other letters:— Most of them begin in accordance with some approved, formula, such as — " It is with the greatest of pleasurethat I take up my pen— ■ ; ' . It is invariably a pencil, and a blunt one at that. Crosses are übiquitous, and the Cap of the envelope usually bears tho mystic formula, S.W.A.K. This apparently means i "Sealed with a kiss," which, considering that the sealing is done not by the writer, hut by the censer, seems to take a good deal for granted. Most of the letters acknowledge the receipt of a "parcel," many give a guarded summary of the military situation :— We are not allowed to tell you about the war, but I may' say that we are now in the trenches. We are all in the pink, and not many of the boys has gotten, a dose of lead-poisoning yet. _ - : It is a pity that tho names of places have to be left blank. Otherwise we should get some fine phonetic spelling. Our pronounciation is founded on no pedantic rules. Armentieres is Armentears, Busnes is Business, Balleul is ] 800100, and Vieille Chapelle is Veal Chapel. _ The chief difficulty of the writers appears to be to round off their letters gracefully. "Having no more to 'say, I will now draw to a, close," is the accepted formula. Private Burke, never a tactician, concludes a most ardent love-letter thus :— I "Well, Kate, I will'now* close, as I have to write to another of the girls." But to Private Mucklewame literary composition presents no difficulties. Hero is a single example of his terse and masterly style:— — "Dere wife, if you could make the next postal- order a trifle stronger, I ■ might get getting an egg to my tea.— '< Your loving husband, Jas. Mucklewame, No. 74077." But there is a serious side, too, to ' the correspondence that passes through 1 Censor Little's hands, and this does [ not lack appreciation from the sympaethic critic. Listen to Lance-Corporal M'Snape:— I ' 'AYell, ; mother, I got - your parcel, and the things was most welcome"; bill - you >must not send any more. I seen , a shilling stamp on the parcel; that is too much for you to afford." How many officers take the trouble r to examine the stamp on their parcels? 1 And there is a wealth of homely sentiment and honest affection which holds ' up its head without shame even in the p presence .of the censor. •. One rather pathetic' screed began :— "Well, wife, I doubt this will be, a i poor letter, for I canna get ono of they !, green, envelopes to-day, hut I'll try my Best " •" Bobby Little sealed and signed without further sorutiny.