Untitled

Dominion, Volume 7, Issue 1867, 29 September 1913, Page 7

The following alterations in tho 'New Zealand Medical Corps are gazotted;— Major T. R. Inglis, to be lieutenantcolonel; Major James Fitzgerald, from tho reserve of officers, to be majo'r; Quartermaster and Honorary Lieutenant P. F. Finlayson, transferred to the reserve of officers; and Dr. C. T. Newton to bo lieutenant.

Several tempting farming propositions are featured in an advertisement inserted by Mr. Eobt. Hood, land and estate 9gent, Auckland.

An American motoring through a small Scotch town was pulled np for excessive speed. "Didn't you see that notice, 'Dead Slow'?" inquired tho policeman. '"Course I did," was the reply, "but I thought it referred to your durned little town!"

An elderly female unconsciously clambered into a smoking compartment, and wa3 greatly perturbed when a workman in the opposite corner produced a clay pipo. "Sir," sho snapped,- "smoking always makes me sick." "Aye," said tho offender; "ye should chuck it, then."

• 1913 Model B.S.A.Cara.—ln stock, ready for immediate delivery, 13.9 h.p. B.S.A. Cars, two and four-seaters, detachable wheels, 5 lamps, and all accessories. Prices. and .£435. Bcott Motor Agency, Wellington.—Advt.

Swell; "Yes, sir, I made all my money by the sweating system—by making the othor fellows do the sweating while I rake in tho coin." Friond: "I should bo ashamed to acknowledge it if I were you." Swell: "Why, there's no harm in being tho proprietor of a Turkish bath, is there?"

James and John were discussing sensitive people in general, when James said to John: "I don't know how it comes, but I am very sensitive, and often take things to myself that were never intended for me." "Oh!" exclnimod John, "I knew a chap who got six months for the same thing."

The would-be comcdian had just given a performance of his "turn" before the manager. "No," said tho latter, "it won't do. I don't Want any pi v frmity in my theatre, my boy." "But I didn't use any profanitv," gasjied the astounded stage aspirant. ' No—o,' was the roply /'but thn au/lienct) would I'''