THE RAINDROP.

Dominion, Volume 6, Issue 1801, 14 July 1913, Page 8

THE RAINDROP.

AND WHY IT CAME TO EARTH. [By Gyro.] [Being partly the story of tho raindrops, partly tlio story of tho "Eipa Island martyrs," and partly tho theory of the new ojire-Esperanto—which tho Socialists and tho Unity Conerees think will end war.] The Chief Rain Boss sat in a nimbus cloud two niiles and soven yards vertically above Parliament House, Wellington. He heard the sound of tramp, tramp . . a and looked down and, true enough, there they were—tha whole Unity Congress—marching, marching. They marched to give emphasis to tho Hunger Strike boys who had j'usfc written to the Congress stating that they "would soon bo j too exhausted to write any more." Plainly it was a situation demanding urgency, Cloud tears were wanted for the wicked world.' The Chief Eain Boss called up the Under Rain Boss, and gave Mb orders. "We've got a weeping force in this cloud," ho said, "equivalent to 117,000,000 drops and, as you know, our tiresomo business is to weep often, weep ever, over the world's woe. Boys starving at Ripa . . , soon to bo exhausted. . . . You sort out tho right amount of cloud-tears and order them to drop." "No need to turn out port and starboard watohes'for the job, I suppose?" asked the Under Rain Boss with something suspiciously liko a grin. "Oh, no," said tho Chief, "just whatever you deem sufficient." The Under Boss blow a hunk of vapour off his nose, calculated a seoond, and gave his orders. "Small party of pitifuls at Ripa disgruntled of their food . , . suffering mental and bodily anguish . . . extent unknown , , . must do right amount of weep proportionate to situation. . , , Raindrop No, 14,653 please fall at once. . , ." "lie!" said Raindrop No. 14,653. "Yes, you," bawled tho Under Boss, "you're the smallest in this cloud. We can't be always using tankfuls of water to drown these thimblefuls of woe. "Heavens!" thought No. 14,653, "the whole weeping profession is going to the dogs. Why, tour hundreds lyears ago, I once descended into tho firts of Smithfield , , . real martyr , , , took three-quarters of an hour , , , martyr's face used to be set cast . . . dreadful agony . , « did. my best to put tho flames out , , > but now . , . this , . . Ripa , . . conscience sake they call it . , , whole world Tunning to vaudevillo." For the first mile or so Raindrop No. 14,653 dropped very straight, and then began to describe faint curves.like an awkward "lofter" at cricket'descending steeply on a nervous fieldsman, and, finally, it struck a marching Labourite full in tho face. It became immediately conscious that it had hit something hard, for tho impact made it bounce full 15 feet, and then it came to rost, snuggled between two gravel pebbles in the path to Parliament House: Once there Raindrop No. 14,653 became aware that other tiny globes of water were lying in tho gravel, and there was a tendoncy to run together, and shako hands, for they are very companionable things, theso little raindrops. They presently discovered that they had all formed part of the original downpour which had lashed the deck of Noah's Ark and had not met since then. What a reunion it was! And what a lot they had to till! How much genuine hardship had they not w-ept over since thenl Spanish Fortitude. "I knocked about the Mediterranean for thousands of years," ; said one. "One day. however, I happened to drop into the scuppers of a scow called tho Pinta (S3 tons) commanded by an old'sea-dog named Christopher Columbus. Wo sailed west. That was the trip ho discovered tho New World." "Glorious trip!" said tho other raindrops, all speaking at once. "Hardly I" replied tho raindrop. "It was tho disniallest ■ voyage ever. It was the voyage of hollow-eyed, starving men sailing on, on . . "Any complaint? Any outcry?" chorused tho others. "None whatever," said the raindrop. "If there 'had been these game fellows could never have opened up to the Old AVorld a twin continent of wealth and new commodities." Heathen Fortitude. "In the Now World," continued the raindrop, "I saw tho bloodiest religion ever. The sun picked mo np on tho ship's, deck one day. and evaporated mo. When next I fell it was in Anahuac." "In Anahuac?" said a Wellington rain spot, who had never been further than liarori reservoir.; "Where is Anahuac?" "Anahuac," said tho raindrop, "was ancient Mexico. Long strings of humau men were offered up every day by blackrobed Aztec priests by tho cruellest process ever. We often wept over it. On tho night when tho Spanish took tho city —Tenochtitlan. they called it then—wa teemed down from tho clouds in- bucketfuls, and washed those temples out for ever." The little raindrop paused in emotion, and then the others asked: Was there any complaint in those days? N Any outcry? "None," said tho raindrop, "tho men who lived in those days were men." Lib-Labsral Fortitude. "It's a sight different now," chimed in the Wellington raindrop, who, like most colonials, was inclined to be a littlo slangy. "They play a game here called football, which is about as strenuous aa a pound of butter. Sometimes a player sustains what they call a 'knock.' Ho is then 'laid up' for a fortnight, and has to havo his name mentioned in tho papers to prevent him from dying outright. That's the result of twenty years of LibLaberalism in this country. If you had bad Lib.-Labs and Unity folk in tho sixteenth century to sap d'ho spirit' of tho race you could never havo had your medieval discoverers. As for the medieval martyrs, our present sort would havo died of fright beforo they " French Fortitude. The little congress of raindrops decided that this was bordering on burlesque, and changed the subject. of tho muchtravelled in the gathering told liow ho had been at the bloodiest battle ever. That was at Eylau, in 1807. As a frozen atom in the hailstorm which beat in the faces of the French all day, ho had seen it. Five huiidrid cannon boomed through tho storm, and men fell at every foot. Finally he (the frozen raindrop) Ml, too. He landed in tho Eylau Cemetery, quite close to tho Emperor Napoleon. "Superman?" asked the other raindrops. "Superman!" replied tho raindrop who hold the floor. "Calm as ever he wont, on, soaking wet . . . clothes unchanged' for 14 days . . . men tumbling everywhere ... ho issuing orders calmly . . , doing the right thing all the time." "Any complaint? Any outcry among tho men?" asked one of "the little globes of water. "None that I heard." The Labourite Curo for Fortitude. Thero camo a pause in the continuity of the conversation, and then one raindrop ventured the opinion that thero would be no more Eylaus. • All men, ex-, cept tho yellow men, were growing too Eoft. "For that matter," burst in tho irropressiblo Wellington raindrop, "there won't bo any need for Eylaus. War is to come to an end. Mr. W. T. Young and others havo so ordained." Then tho raindrop told how, a few days ago, he had alighted on a piece of newspaper in tho Basin Reserve, nud had read tho Unity Congress remits. "It's to simple," ho said, in his simple colonial way, "that one can onlv wonder that it has never been thought of beforo. All you have to do is to talk a certain amount of gibberish to each other—they call it Esperanto— and thero you are. The other fellow will never bo able to tell 'exactly whether you waut io fight him or want to lend nim (ivo bob. Ergo, no light. See? 1 The more travelled of the raindrops wero not Ruito convinced. iiGivo jw a

sample of tho magic Esperanto," they ' said. Then tlio small Wellingtonian cleared his tiny throat, and said:—"Homos of the globo, down tools! Drop implementa guerral Slow down! Sing pianissimo! Lis low on the weather bow! No battleship, no naves du battnglia, .no cur-asses d'oscadro: no more scrap omn6ononte, no trow vcrmilliano. Wlio say that? Der Labourite. What giieri'a, then? Aho, guerra if tho mouth, lingua, lont'a, oa rorum, gifta di gabbo. Who win that sorta gueiTa? Hiomo practiso. Who is homo practise in gabbo guerra? Dor Labourite. Whaffor this guorra of tho gab? Quia et imprimis beoauso der Labourite then . triomphanto; bloato capitalistic*) down and out. Quid liomen for new guerra gabbo? Alio, arbitratemto nntionale; buono arbitramonto." "But," interjected one of tho raindrops, "I have understood that New Zealand has alwayß had its fair sharo of gifto di gabbo, and buono arbifcramento. Tnojr havo the Arbitration Court, for instance. "Yes." "Who turned down the Arbitration Court first?" "The Labourite." "And wont in for revolvers? ■ "Tine Labourite." "At Waihi?" "At Waihi!" "Why?" „ "Oh, ifs * iray they have; buono arbitramento one (lay, revolvers the next; win, tie, or wrangle. See?" , The littlo nqueous _ Parliament lying among the gravel folt itsolf on the point of dissolution. Plainly this wag the most comical, most aimazing country that they had ever been in. A long rpauso. The Superfluous Raindrop. Then they turned to Raindrop No. 14,653, and asked him what mission had brought him down to tho worß He replied that it was a case of certain young men at Ripa Island] being off _ their, feed" pro tem. The Cloud Boss judged that some weep had to to done, and he (No. 14,653) constituted the right amount of sobsomoness. He was one-eighth of a millimetre in diameter. Tho ; watery Parliament paused again. They were honest little <aititiOiS, tneso raindrops—always loyal to the Cloud Boss. So they did not spealc. If they had, they would probably have adjudged that-in proportion to the woe at Ripa Raindrop No. 14,653, tiny as ho was, was a drop too much." .