Informal Evening.

Dominion, Volume 6, Issue 1629, 21 December 1912, Page 21

Informal Evening.

(By A. A, M,, in "Punch,") Dinner was a very quiot affair. Nobody drew my chair away from under mo as I sat down, and during the meal nobody threw bread about. Wo talked gently of art and politios and things; and when the ladies left there was no booby trap waiting for them at the door. In a word, nothing to prepare me for what was to follow. We strolled leisurely into the drawingroom.- A glance told mo the worst. The ladies were in a cluster round Miss Power, and Miss Power was on the floor. Sho got up quickly as we camo in. "Wo were trying to go underneath tho poker," she explained. "Can you do it?" I waved tho poker back. "Let me see you do it again," I Ktid. "I missed tho first part." , "Oh, I can never do it. Bob, you show us." Bob is an active young fellow. He took tho poker, rested tho enu on the floor, and then twisted himself underneath his right arm. I expected to sob him como up inside out, but he seemed to bo much tho samo after it. However, no doubt his organs are all on the wrong side now. "Tes, that's how I should do it," I said hastily. But Miss Power was firm. Sho gave me the poker. I pressed it hard on the floor, said good-bye to them all, and dived. I got half-way round, and wns supporting myself upside down by one toe and the' slippery end of the poker, when it suddenly occurred to me that the earth was revolving at an incredible speed-on its own axis, and that, in addition, we were hurtling at thousands of miles a minuto round the sun. It seemed impossible in these circumstances that I should keep my balance any longer; and as soon as I realised this the poker began to slip. I was in no sort of position to do anything about it, and we came down heavily together. "Oh, what a pity!" said Miss Power. "I quite thought you'd done it." "Being actually on the spot," I said/ "I knew that I hadn't."

"Do try it again." "Not till the ground's a little softer." "Let's do the jam-pot trick," said another girl. "I'm not going under a jam-pot for anybody," \I murmured to myself. However, it turned out that this trick was quite different. You. place a book ("Macaulay's Essays," or what not) on the jam-pot, and sit on the book, one heel touching the gTOund. • In tho right hand you have a box of matches, in the left. a candle.. The jam-pot, of course, is on its side, so that it can roll beneath you. Then you lidit the candlc . .'. and h'and it to anybody who wants to go to bed. -1 was ready to give way to the ladies here, but even .while I was bowing and saying, "Not at ail," I found myself on one of the jam-pots with Bob next to mo on another. To balance with the arms outstretched was not 60. difficult; but as the matches were then about six feet from the candle, and there' seemed no way of getting them nearer together, the solution of the problem was as remote as over. Three times I brought my hands together, and three times tho jampot left'me. "Well played, ; . Bob," saidsomebody. The bounder had dono„it. I looked, at his jam-pot. "There you are," l 'said, '"Raspberry— 1903.' Mine's 'Gooseberry—l9ll,' a rotten vintage. And' look at- my book,' 'Alone on the. Prairie'; and you've ■ got 'The Mormon's Wedding.' No wonder I couldn't do. it." \ 1 . I refused to' try it again, as I : didn't think I was,-being "treated fairly; and after. Bob and- Itiss Power had had a race at it, ..which' ; Bob-won; we got on to something .'else.' • ' ' "Of course'you ,cani pick, a : pin out of 'a chair: jiiith- ; your. -teeth ?" said Miss Power. ■' "Not properly,l 'said. . "I always swallow the pin." ' '' "I suppose it.doesn't,count if you swallow tho pin,"'said Miss Power, thoughtfully. • "I doi't : V:knbfc%vl-Te ; . never really thought about that Bide of- it much, Anyhow,' unless 'you've got a whole lot of pins yoit-don't:-.want; don't ask me to do it to-night.", Accordingly we . passed , on to the watertnck. I refused at this,, but Miss Power went full length on the,floor with a glass of water balanced, on her: forehead, and came up again without spilling a single drop,. Personally I shouldn't have minded spilling. :a single drop; it was the thought of. spilling the whole glass' ,that kept me''back. ■ Anyway it is a useless trick, the need for which, never arises in an ordinary career. Picking up "Tho Times" with the teeth, while clasping the left ankle with the right hand, is another matter. ; That might come in useful on occasions: as for .'instance, if having lost .your left arm on. the field, and having to staunch with the right hand the flow of blood from : a • bullet wound in the opposite anglo, ; you desired to glance 'through the paper while waiting for the ambulance.

"Here's, a nice little trick," broke in .Bob, as I was preparing myself in this way for tho German invasion. Ho had put two chairs together, front to front, and was standing over them— a foot on the floor on each side of them, 'if that conveys .it to you. Then he jumped up, turned round in the air, and came down facing tho other way. "Can you do it?" 1 said to Miss Power. "Come and try," said Bob to me'. "It's not really difficult." I went and stood over the chairs. Then I moved them apart, and walked over to my .hostess. • "Good-bye," I said. "I'm afraid I must go now." "Coward!" said somebody, who knew me Tather better than tho others. "It's much easier than you think," 6aid Bob. "I don't think it's easy at all," I protested. "I think it's impossible." I went back and stood over tho chairs again. For some time I waited there in deep thought. Then I bent my knees preparatory to the spring, straightened them up, and said, "What happens if you just miss it?" "I suppose you bark your shins a bit." "Yes, that's what I thought." I bent my knees again, - worked my arms up and down, and then stopped suddenly and said. "What happens if you mis 3 it pretty easily?" . "Oh. you can do it, if Bob can," said Miss Power, kindly. "He's practised. I expeot he started with two hassocks, and worked up to this. I'm n6t afraid, but I want to know the possibilities. If it's only a broken leg or two, I don't mind. If it's permanent disfigurement I think I ought to consult my family first." I jumped up and came down again the same way for practice.' "Very well," I said. "Now, I'm going to try. I haven't the faintest hope of doihg it, but you all seem to want to see an accident, and, anyhow, I'm not going to be called a coward. One, two ■three'. . ." "Well done," cried everybody. "Did I do it?" I whispered, as I sat on the floor,. and pressed a . oushion against my shins. "Bather!" "Then," I said, massaging my ankles, "next timo I shall try to miss."