THE CHANGING SCENE.

Dominion, Volume 5, Issue 1290, 20 November 1911, Page 4

THE CHANGING SCENE.

A BIRD'S-EYE VIEW.

Br M.C.K.)

"Why," said Mr. Dooley, "whero's your frind tho Wardite?" "My faith, this is M. Dooley," tho intelligent foreigner replied. "How goes it, my old? Tho Wardite? Ho is dopaTt, gone. I advert-iso for him: 'To tho Wardite, Please send you addros, your Anatole.' Answer?? I you assure 1 receive not one word. I call nt tho office of tho journal, but two, tbreo hundred times. Enlin, Iho eJerk says: 'llistar, thorn are not of Wardilos, never more.' It my old friend dead? My old, tell inoP l'crhaps a tiv.m accident?" '"Ihey ain't anny Warditos," said Mr. Dooley. "Th' favhioiis is changed. If yo hunt rouu' yo will find frind ot a mootin iv th' mdepindenl*). Th' only Warrdit» left ig nio frind Joo, an* he'a thnil.in' iv chnnfe-in' his naiuo. In th' ' ould days whin yo mot a robbifc inspocihcr inspectin' rabbits in th' dive in Ix;twecn pay days yo'might say t' him, 'Arro yo a Lib'ralf 'No, sir,' ho wud say proudly, 'I'm a Scddonite,' an' ho wud put down his pint an' pull il letter fr m his packet signed Seddon an' take off his hat. But mo frind Joe? Well, Seddon usoter liavo cigars an* mowin'-machmes an' tea an' babies named afther him, Can yo think iv annythin' that anywan wud oall after Sir Joe by way iv rccommendin' it? Ye can't," "You mo astonish, my doar Dooley! But I rojoico that my friend tho Wardite is not dead. Ho is, what say your tombstones? lie is .not dead, but waked up! Ha! Not bad that, my old? But I astonish myself. Ono told mo Sir Bart was a naino to do tho thrwMard trick with. I not comprehen'. Ho announce that tho most great of politicians English filled bis portmanteau with letters of ap. proval. Ono worships .him in England. What an ungrateful oountry, this!" " 'Tis, but it won't forget mo frind Joe even when ho docs shake th' dust fr'm his feet. It won't bo able to onless Cohen iv London writes us off as a bad debt."

"I don't wish to bo returned as a parish pump politician," said Mr. Bolton this week. But how else conld he be returned? What is one to do with himP his friends are asking. From the report of tho fracas at the No-License meeting in Rangitata: "A number of groat boulders were thrown. . . . The gang hid in tho plantation with tho intention to pelt the clergymen with stones. . . Tho polico woro instructed to leave ao Etono nnturned to bring tho guilty parties to justice." But it will surely take weeks to examine ah the stones for finger-prints. Mr, W. H. P. Barber tests his claim to election mainly upon two great facts: (1) that he detests tho "insinuendoes" of th« Reform Party, and (2) that he has a telephone on his house. "No oddß what other men do: No nasty thoughts I 'arbour; I scorn inrnnntmdo," Says W. H. P. Barber, "There's no Insiduosity In me; I'm frank and candid; I merely wish to 'avo it known My 'ouso is on tho telephone, And I'm a Government gramaphona . Correctly stamped and branded. "I 'ate all double tender; I am a fervent 'fttcr Of that supremo offender, Thel"itcllli}jß'aJlefitori" I'm just your old friend Barber, Un'ampcred by ideas. But ready when I get a ring To set yon almost anything:. My forty it is listening With sympathetic oars. "On thoughts I'm not relying) I aint a smart debater 'Oo trusts to argufying To aid 'is candidatur'. I'm W. H. P, Barbori Romomber, it I win, To call Exchange aad ask for me— Tho smallest order gratefully Attended to; opinions free; You'll always find me ta." Thus Barber. But a Tiston My worried soul is haunting That in the last decision He shall have been found wanting. On that ead night when pcoplo Cheer, hoot, and fight, and Ehout, I'll slip away from out the din. Ring up, and, with a fiendish grin. Bay, "Ploaee, is Mr. Barber In? Well, tell him that he's OBTl".

Really, we shall havo to do something to Dr. Gibb. Ho should no longer ba tolerated. Ho is an anachronism. His fellow-ministers havo practically all do. oided that tho first duty of tho Church is to join the Trades Council and thunder from its pulpits about tho downtrodden worker, tho accursed wago-system, tho greed of hated Mammon, and all tho other things that the trado-union secretaries, purely out of love, and with no hope of gain, have been endeavouring to bring homo to tho conscience of a heartless world. But Dr. Gibb 1 Ho actually dares to say that tho employer is not invariably a bloated mass of twonly-ono 6tono weight, chuckling over tho sorrows and starvation of tho slaves from whom ho oxtracts tho sovereigns that ho swallows. He added that tho Church 6hould not stand for ono class 1 Ho suggested that a man may get into Hoaven without joining a union! Ho admitted that men should receive tho highest possibio wages, but ho addod that they should work for them! WORK for them! Ho said ho had no sympathy with tho doctrin© "that a man should do less work than before, and for moro money"! And ho actually urged that tho duty of Christ's Church is to preach Christian doctrine, and not, as his fellow-ministers declare, to preach preference to unionists, a two-day week, a four-hour day, and a pound an hour. No doubt he will say something about tho Ten Commandments, may even quote tho Bible. Now, I don't want to «iy a word against the Ten Commandments or the Biblo. They are well onoitjh in their way; indeed, they probably did sorno good in tho past. But wn have no U59 for them in this agos civilisation has arrived. Let Dr. Gibb cling to them if ho clioosos; but holding the views ho does, ho has no right to remain in tho Church. He is sincere, no r.oubt, in fancying that the teaching of religion is tho duty of tho Church; but that in no way lessens tho gricvousnoss of his error.