THE CHANGING SCENE.

Dominion, Volume 4, Issue 1150, 10 June 1911, Page 6

THE CHANGING SCENE.

. . A BIRD'S-EYE. VIEW. . - ;(Br H.cxy Tho death of Sir W. S. Gilbert lias led to the renewed .circulation of many of his best things, but nobody, strangely enough, has recalled. itho signal example of his power as a. prophet: I've wisdom from tho East and. from tlio Vest, , . . That's subject to ne. academic rule; You may find it in the jeering of a jest, , Or distil it from the folly of a Poole. If Mr. Poolo is alivo to his,interests, ho vill-tfo the distillation' himself. Ho said iu • Invercargill that- at one tiun>;it was not safe for women to he in the streets in Waihi. A fairly tight placo! for Mr. Poole, you think? Not a bit ;of it. In Auckland, after a Jong,' interval of thinking, ho explained that what was in his miud's eye was a ■btraet riot some years ago. "Having that "in his mind, ho said that when rocks we're thrown, women wero not 6»fe. • Talent like this ought not ito go to waste; *Jlr. Poole should establish a School for tho Instruction of licckless Politicians in the rArt of Explanation. Ho would have plenty of pupils. Mr. E. M'lCenzio would Tie Wight how to explain away'in, two 'moves his "spoils to-tho victors speech ait Opunake. Mr. Fowlds has more than ■one thing for which he requires a gloss. He has never felt quite satisfied with his explanation that he did not say that a rise'in wool was nothing to rejoice over, ibnt that what he said was that the sheep : . 'did ' -not profit by . ; it,- .or some-; lthing, like that. ■ Mr,'' Poole will' /show' him a better way.. And the Hon. !T. Mackenzie—Mr. Poole.could mako a, 'living'out of him alone. Dr. Findlay ..would, go straight to Mr. Poole, on his "" return, for a nice gloss upon his announcement to dear old 1 Britain that she knew less>-about Imperialism - than Hew ; Zealand did. • Eeally, there .'is no reason why tho great Poole' Institute should not,, twenty .years ■ hence, be a forty-five storey : building, and 'Mr. Poole himself' a millionaire.,' "Jlinir-ters of the Crov.-n and members of Parliament are all very wcU," remarked a spcakei* at. tho opening on Monday of tho Kaliotu Post Office, vbut-where would they bo if it not for our poor .old ,cow 3?" —News item. All sorts of clever johnnies will perceive in this remark an occasion for an . essay to illuminate tho dark, by expounding how the progress that we pride ourselves upon, and the social complication that is going on and on, and • the .whole resplendent fabric of our highlycultured age—tho politics, the_ 1 poetry, the toiler and the sage, the'cricketers, the bankers, and the ladies, priests and kings —depend, when all is said and done, on cows and similar things. They will say, "Proud man, be humble!" and, beginning .with the geese that preserved the Roman Capitol by waking the police, wilt proceed to homelier instances; as how an orango pip, m the vermiform appendix, can make hay of statesmanship; or how forFowlds's \ genius or for Buddo's latest gem wo must thank tho humble porridge that they eat • -at 8 a.m. , Tlie theme is fine for clover men, but folks like me and you will be wise to treat the matter from a different point of. view. Tho text, "Proud man, be humble!" is a. good one; I'll allow; but what, about the viowpoint of the fundamental cow? Cows have viewpoints, cows have feelings, and if cows could only know what their milk assists to bolster up, w'o'flld .cows bo . happy? No! If they knew,;, all dccent Ayrshires—as you | aimply'lcifii't with perfect: unanimity go permanently dry. 1 'Let us, therefore, -ohj my brothers, think upon it, and express satisfaction that the Ayrshire doesn't read the daily press. We think of our dependence ori the Ayrshire;*, when wo ought to. think rather of the rubbish that the; dear old things:support. Yes, rubbish! Man's a waster! And I tell you here.and now: Tou can fay 'Troud man, be humble!"—l-commissrato tlie COW. • " •' I "The Extraordinary Career of Sir Joseph Ward" is the heading tho Xondon "Daily Mail" gives to an interview with . the Prime Minister. "I think it's just • shameful of 'em," -said a dear old lady when they told her. Of.course, it need 'jiardly b'a said that the article doesn't. Dr. Izard, it appears, gave his "lmmor,'ous skit" the other night, against his .will. Why is it always tho Government candidate who is funny, without meaning'to be? ' 'Apropos :of nothing in particular:— flf you're anxious for to shine in the high Imperial line, and to earn a laurel wreath, ITou must-get up all,the lingo of the cul- ' tivated Jingo oX tho typo of dear Lord Heath; • . iJTou must. simply go on rippling, in the mode of l[r. Kipling. ■ with ' plentiful allusion to "the bond." <3fou must strike a lofty attitude,' and keep tho path -of platitudo and never stray beyond. ' " And. everyone will staxo, And say. "Well, I deeiaro! '.When this great man . lays all this stress ■ on tilings quite plain to see, Why, ■ what, a- very penetrating sort of mind his cosmic' mind must be." Insistently proclaim that tho true Imperial aim is to keep the Empire .strong: • .£nd declare with all your misht that to do whatcver's right is the way to avoid going wrong; JTou must sing tho Empire's praises in '•euperh sonorous phrases, and he careful . to cschew £ny sprt of actual mention of a practical intention, for that would novcr do. • And everyone will. cheer, And say. "It's very clear li he sees a meaning in all this talk that is meaningless to me, ,Why, what a, perfect corker of a ditrcer-into-things this great, great man must be."

:lo.u must say Imperial thinking on tho need for closer linking keeps ns all awako at nisht; ,-That New Zealanders insist that your very lengthy list, of proposals is just ripht; <That their summary rcjection.willproduco a, deep dejection in our Kin below tho Line, Whofo Imperial devotion is' to Britain's as the ocean to tho tin-pot Serpentine. And cacli of us will pay, Ae wo read your words each day, ."If ho sees in ino those thoughts and things'that never occurred to-me, ffhyv, what an X-ray marvel of a big Imperial this great, great man must bo!"

The Sydney hangman, who received £10 per execution, has resigned his post, since tho Labour Government Iras commuted uvory death sentence passed since it came Into office.

Yus, I've chucked mo trade for ever and I'll never see no more me succcssful operations faliiu' sudden through tho floor. Rooonsidor me ■ decision? No, there's not tho smallest 'ope. Purely abstract will bo 'enccforth all me interest in a rope.' Am I soro? Well, just you 'earken: in the papers-every day yon will 'ear some jossers 'owlin' of their industry's decay. Decay? Decay bo blistered! Wot is usually meant is their output's shown a 6hrinl;ago of .00G por cent. And the papers say "Distressing!" but they never thought of me—they 'eeded not tho passing of my own small Industry. Wen the first reprieve was granted, whic-h 'ad ..Eccmed a ppertain.

stretch, I took it philosophic as becomes the pride of Ketch. Another job was ordered soon, a still moro certain cop; and again they victimised me, and the dust lay on the drop. The rcprievin' craze continued, and mo outlook darker grew, and I sold me watch and wondered wot .tho earth was coiuin' to. "With mo livelihood departin' you can easily believe as I grew to 'ate like poison that disgustin' word "reprieve." A 'iglier tariff's useless; no, the trado is all gone bung, and there ain't no Swingers' Union to demand that blokes bo swung. I voted straight for Labour, for I understood they meant that ■ hanging bloated fctmen was tho aim of government. I could seet meself a liftin' of the ten good quid each day; and now—mo raw material they 'ave gorn and swept aivay. Ho, the callous, bilking traitors! Ho, the murderers of 'ope! Purely abstract will be 'enceforth all me interest in the rope. Our own clairvoyant supplies an account of the proceedings at tho next meeting of the National League: Mr. Blenkinsop was sure that the League would do much good. Was not tho League's function tho affirmation and defence of sound principles? (Hear, boar.) He would move;—" That honesty be> required .of public men." Mr. Spoopendyke protested. The League .should, cast, no reflections on persons. If flagrant assaults on Ministers were to bo tolerated by the League, then, well, then, they knew that—in fact, it was undesirable—in short, he. for one, was not going to get into the bad books of those who— of those—in Met those—in short it would :be injudicious for them.as business men. ((Applause.) ; .The chairman agreed. The League must not be used for the venting of political ianiraosity. Persons must bo protected. Mr. Crimsoiibcak said this was a fair sample of what happened when national principles, for which tho League stood, were confused with. general ideas. Mr. 'Blenkinsop should know tetter. The League would' suffer, if 'it wero to pass a resolution like this, which was hostile , jto the Government. ' After -several speeches of- a similar kind, the motion was withdrawn. Mr. Blenkinsop - then moved a second re«olntion:VTliat excessive gambling is 'undesirable." "He was sure the League would be glad to lend its support to this wholesome proposition. Tho chairman deprecated any such attack upon Ministers.. It was an oblique attack, no doubt, inasmuch as it condemned Messrs. Laycm and Takem, but as these gentlemen wero notoriously tho close friends of some of the Ministers, the attack was almost direct. Ho would remind Mr. Blenkinsop that the League wa9 a National League, not a league for attacking respectable citizens. Mr. Spoopendyke thought that if the League indulged in such personalities as Mr. Blenkinsop's motion amounted to, he, as a business man having dealings, would resign his membership. Several other members condemned the motion, which was withdrawn. Mr. Blenkinsop then said he was sure the League would approve of the Ten Commandments. (Hear, hear.) Thejwould bo strengthened if the League endorsed them, and more widely recognised as affirming sound national principles. Ho would,' therefore, move, them in his own order, omitting altogether those which raise political issues, as the seventh, upon which men may reasonably differ. First, ho would move;—" That this League regards stealing as an evil." The chairman said ho could not accept the motion. It was not the function of the League to attack tho Gijvernment by taking up this case, Mr. Crimsonbeak thanked tho chairman. As a hilsiness man ho could not afford to embroil,himself with the Ministry. ' Mr. Spoopendyke said he had a motion that was impersonal .and national. (Loud cheers.) He would move:—"That this League favours smoking." Mr. Bienkinsop -protested., (Hoots.) This was an attack on Sir Robert Stouc. Tho ohairman disagreed. It certainly assailed Sir Eobert's opinion. But so far as Sir Robert was concerned, the League was only bound to_ refrain from'attacking his practice. , The motion was carried.