THE CHANGING SCENE.

Dominion, Volume 3, Issue 758, 5 March 1910, Page 6

THE CHANGING SCENE.

"-A BIRD'S-EYE VIEW.

". .. (By' M.C.K.)

It may not be generally known that Mrl Buado, who, after . admitting lions and tigers to the country, objected to the importation 01 leopards on tiio ground ihat tney are "birds or beasts of prey," is writing a series of papers on Natural History. ior the' "School Journal." We are permitted-to make extracts from his first paper:

"Tiio' llama is an interesting creature formerly, found • in Tibet, ana although prone to: smallpox, is of a happy disposition...lt is not in any sense, a bird of prey, confining. its diet to the tender branches\of onion trees. The bear, as my little readers, will' remember, is; a denizen of what- Sir : Ernest Shackelton so happily terms, the arctic solitudes, or latitudes, as they are sometimes called. He, or, if a female, she,..is.. noted for graceful'movement: ..The .lion,, whom I may call the King of the forest (or bush, as \New Zealanders say) shares with the buffalo, and tho elephant an extreme dislike for a meat diet. As a witty man has finely said,. however, you cannot rely on him. The tiger is a great cat, and is an oxtremely beautiful animal, of a kind and affectionate disposition. You have not seen tho armadillo, my little readers, and I will toll.you why. I am the Minister for. public. Health and ..Fire JLngines, as perhaps you, know,'and it is my duly to prevent the importation of the armadillo at any cost, for, if he were admitted to the Dominion, /he would create great havoc amongst .the sheep, and that would be very bad for' the frozen meat trade. To the true lover of nature wild animals are not mere beasts. It is' the mark of ;the true 'naturalist to discriminate between those animals which popular' ignorance lumps together aa , carnivora ; <(from 'cam' meat, and Voro,' I eat.) [Note: The' teacher will ask the, children, to decline 'caro' aiid conjugate Nature is truly very wonderful.'. ." ■

Mr. John Foster TVaser, who recently toured ..Australasia,: has commenced a series of impressions in the "Standard." Ha summarises: "Adelaide for culturc, Melbourne for.'business,, Sydney for plea, sure."—Cable item.' . Though: Tery depressing onr case is, ... Though' bitter'.the pang's that We feel . 'Neath the, cruelly razor- '. •Like sharpness of Fraser, . It's not for-ourselves that we saueal; We had . put Quito the bravest of faces On anyone's scorn; for our worth, 'And'we* shouldn't have brooded ' Had-rraser included ' Our sister a, littlo bit north. ' •We didn't expect a diploma For gaiety, culture; or bu^z. Oomplain that we're bottom. And others have sot 'em? I Son't" think that anyone does. , But'our'awful condition 1 of coina ■ -'■■■ 'Proceeds from the news that that town , Somewhere ; up by Throe' Kings. • Has : got none of/these "things—.: "'.OjiJ the grief of an idol'thrown .down 1. Sewould say to'the stranger, .''Go 'nor'rard, ; Don't'iudgd from a .suburb like ours. • :.;'. ;,;Bdt;Tisit; that'City.V. . Great, learned, aiid pretty, ' Whose'clocks measure epochs,'not.hours;' And.bind a.wet cloth on your forehead— . ■ There's nothing quite *like it at Homo, ■ ... -And you'll gasp when you find It's a.sort 1 of combined' ' ' London, Paris, Chicago, and Eome." <)f old,'though our life is so squalid,. El?,™cd afl wo, .thought how She shone • ,;.;:.In ; her.pride'in the North;— . ..Now in darkness.henceforth W« .'abide, for our dreams all are gons. Oh phantom, once seemingly solid!' Oh' brass, once the gold of our dreams 1 -it bo? •. Caa it be :She*B as-lowly'as 'we? ,-.; Nunc dimittisi (But wait till she screams.)

A contemporary lias announced, with the natural pride of one who has at last found his vocation, ■ that it has-secured ft small;but firm circulation amongst the inmates of the Porirua Asylum. .' It has. been considering, whether it will print Boms , extremely valuable ' testimonials which it has received from its new readers.' ' Some of these are interesting: "Although lam only,a poached egg, you way. he glad tb know that your, paper is specially interesting.' to me. I think one of,those' things.is a-toast of those things you are' giving away. Please put ill an advertisement - for me. But if it i 3 not a toast rack, I- will-lull you every, minute. Yours obediently, the Poached Egg...'P.S.—-A,;buttered toast* rack." '

"Your, paper convinces me that I am gane v It;is ; just the p'aper X have always thought r would edit if . the doctor'would enly let me. out to my diamond mine. But he only puts; mo in' the padded cell when;: Xj.tell', liim I'agree entirely .with your views. . Your, loving servant, Joan ef Arc."

"I am pleased .to bestow upon your honourable paper the order of:the Blue .Umbrella, in recognition of. the delight that you have given me in providing -.lie only sensible songs-I'have yet. found in this fortress. I sing your leaders right' through. From the Emperor of .China." < "We, the'undersigned,-desire to express our joy at discovering in you' a kindred spirit. -Your paper cheers us up with its Mund. opinions, which are'hard to find iu a prison .managed - by a mad doctor and' mad warders;.' They are all' mad but you and iis. (Signed) Napoleon I, QueenElizabeth, J. Chamberlain."

"When I used to ask the doctor for the, paper, he would tell me I am not a saveloy at all. Now, thank you very much,-1 can wrap myself up fresh every day". .

_ "It must be turr'blo hard f be a Minister," raid Mr. Dooley. "Yo .have t' become so ahstrac'."

"I don't think ye do justice f Buddo," said .'Mr. Hennessy. "Sthrange as : it may'seem f ye, Hinnissy, as a good Buddhist, 'I wasn't thinkin' iv.me frind Buddo at all. 'Twas th'. Atturroey Gin'raL ' Ye might think 'twuz all kiss-me-han' ,t* be a Ministher,but 'tis not. If ye think that all that statesman Tom Mackenzie' had, t' .do wiiz t': dhream lie wu'z a Lib'ral, which anny willin' battler - can do if he finds that his Conservative delusions is keepin' him out iv a job, yo're.-mistaken: Th' business ivbecomin' a Ministher. is a sevaro thrial iv th' applicant in self-reverence, Belf-knowledge, an' self-eonthrol, which, is Tom Bracken says, alone leads on t' r portfolio. Whin ye see Roddy and Timi. Carroll agreein' exactly with me frind Joe Warrd, ye wondher how Joe managed f pick men with minds cut in th' exac' same patthern iv his own. An', whin ye see- a Rhodes scholar, ye say tf yeresilf, 'A smarrt, young felly, but md he stan' such an examination as Q Ministher has f pass befure he can get into th' Cabinet?'. Iv coorse ye do. Ye picture th' hope iv the parrty comin' in if see th' Premeer. 'Good day,' he says. 'Sit down,' ho says, 'an' I won't hurrt ye. What,' he says, 'is yere views on th' lan'? Or I'll put it this way, what wud ye do'- if I brought in a Bill grantin' th' freehol'?' he says.- An' th' hope iv th' parrty says, 'I wud raysign.' 'An' what,' says Jco, 'wiul-ye do if I appointed Bill Smith assistant inspector of penholders?' 'I wud raysign,' is tli' answer. 'An' if I brought in a Bill t abolish bqrryin' more thin. wan million

a month? Tell mo that,' says Joe. 1 wud be firrmly in favour iv it.' An' afthcr two or threo days th' written examinations take, place, an' in a month or'So tli'. hope iv the parrty gets a note sayin': 'Ye pass with honours.'- An' he goes an' buys a silk hat an' learrns t' smoke cigars. That's the pop'lar idee iv what happens. Well, 'tis not so. Th' Atturrney Gin'ral says ,he wud not so far • demean liimsilf as t' threaten f Prime Ministher bo takin' up a firrrn stan'. He wud as soon think iv committing such; a. gross breach iv etiquette as takid' th' hat-stand. He represses himsilf. Molin,' says th' Prime Ministher, 'I hear ye, have turr'ble sthrong view 6 on th' , lan' question. I hope 'tis not thrue; ■■AVu'd ye raysign if I brought in a freehold Dill?' ho says. 'This,' says tli'-aspirant f'r ofiice, 'this is not a time f'r threats, or,' says he, 'vi'lent beiiaviour iv anny kind,' he says, 'an' I may add,' lie says, 'that 'twud be out iv place t' threaten,' ,he says, 'till I'm sworrn in,' says; lie. An' then takes place a turr'ble battle, but Hh' aspirant f'r office passes all th'. tests." v . "But this fine etiquette. mus' be harrd on. Joe, sometimes," said< Mr. Hennessy. "He'niver'knows'\vhin his colleague may rebel." ' "But' he . picks his men carefully, Jawn." '<