UNMARRIED DAUGHTERS.

Dominion, Volume 3, Issue 716, 15 January 1910, Page 11

UNMARRIED DAUGHTERS.

The headmaster of Kton. speaking on'' jeaMaiaai J and practical life, , remarked last _Rngrinh home life w-as weakening BBtt that giris ought to bo taught in such kway that thev would be able to tako TOerr places in. the homes. One can agreo gith bun on both points, says the L?staeg/' aad yet xemara in same pxacgpal uncertainty. Girls must be htteu Notaoe tlwir places in tho homes; but in traat homes—their fathers' or their hustttanis*? It is not at all the. same thing; j&r the wife's function in a properly orWered home is clear and well defined. The function of tho grown-up daughter, if there arc sevoral of them, is , J ot Pa"* ll * s , nonadajs, cannot count (unon gieir daughters mairying. A father gnth half a dozen daughters must face ' ' jthe met tliat none of them may marry; , (ana, if they are all to lemam spinsters iov is ho gomg to train them all to | tako ibfiir places m the home? However well ho may tram them, .the home will not provide them with enough to do, and if, te Mr. Lyttolton'says, Knglish home liio m weakening, it ,1s weakening because thera are too many women with nothing jbo do m our homes. -Haw is tho ordinary girl to bo educated so that she will bo both happy and josefnl if she does not marry? Ihat is ,the difficulty which no generalities will onoet; indeed, it ls-a difficulty almost mv iEarmoimtable in present conditions, and Wecanso of it many of our middle-class [homes are full of subdued unhappincss. There aTo s buiuireds of things which the [ordinary spinster might do. if only sho tesre capable of doing them/ But sho is Jnot capable, partly because her parents loften havo not the means to give her a jgood education, partly because her very [position as a spinster m her parenta' Saeme'deprives her of, energy aadiiutiaffave. , _Of course the main cause of tho trouble fa the fact that in the middle classes taarnages^e'fewer and later than they tased'to be. The middle-class home, as we have it, is an institution designed for .husband and wiio and children. It is mot designed for children when they grow ■np. The idea underlying all its convenj tons'and relations is that sons and daughters alike will m due course leave it,and make homes of their own. It they do not, they may not seem 'to lin:gEr Tils an unloved guest," but there .is Swproviaion for their, remaining. The son who stays at homo because he *annot make a living for himself is ob- . -iiouaiy failing in life. The daughter who j-rfajß because sbe does not find a husband las often conscious or half-conscious of the came failnro, not becooso she is evidently inferior to tho ( women who marry, but tecanse, unlike them, she has not found proper business in life, she has not *Ume that which ras expected of her. It is easy to state the problem, but , .difficult even to suggest any land of solu-' tion. Am middle-class parents to make jtnore efforts to marry thou daughters' B so, they must bo more ready for their BDns to marry; they must bo prepared to give as well as to take. There is no doubt that we are far more exacting about marriage tthan our grandparents -were. Fathers do not like either their sons or their daughters to m irry on vague prospects. They demand some kind of' security, whether Of income or of settlements. We are agamst marriages of convenience; but our marriages for love must idso be convenient/ So our sons and daughters naturally grow cautious about tailing in love. They do not care to face the uncertainty and trouble of unauthorised engagements, and they havo caught from their parents tho idea that it is better not to marry at all than to marry irpon hopes. Thus, while waiting for tho desired combination of lovo'nnd convenience, the sons often grow mured to celllacy and the daughters pass the marryimg'ase. Wo may call Has reasonable caution, or selfish, cowardice—there is something to bo said on both sides; but-the practical question'is—What do we mean to. do? If wo want more marriages, we must either give our children a freer hand m arranging their own matches, or wo must arrange them ourselves more after tho Erench system. Our present attempt to ■combine love with-convenience makes carriage too difficult -