A MATTER OF MANNERS.

Dominion, Volume 3, Issue 622, 27 September 1909, Page 3

A MATTER OF MANNERS.

There'never was a'timd when someone, or other could not. be found ready to, proclaim that tho manners; of their day. compared most unfavourably with those,',-.of -a generation before (says 'a .London, woman). .".Were:we Uo listen to one-half oMho complaints upon this particular score we should be .led''to believe .that .-our behaviour' has been on the; downgrade for some,-considerable period,' and that at the present moment it has rcachjed a pitch of abomination that-is little short.bf a scandal.

"The latest coinplaint in this- direction comes' from : America. . A 'writer upon social : topics; asserts that 'the debutante of, to-day, is ; not nearly so polite and not nearly so considerate of the feelings;of; others as.the debutante of, yesterday,--who was taught -to bo polite ifirst, and; to; be smart afterwards. Now all this is changed—the'; prevailing craze for ; smartness has played havoc with women's manners. .To be smart, and to be smart alone,_is.the ambition of ..the modern American Miss.', i ...,

Almost identically the same grievance is be-, ing deplored in' London to-day. ;On ■ all sides one; hears the typical, smart/society;girl.condcthhed as lacking in good manners. Accord-, ing to ;her, many .critics, .she :not.;only,-. lacks courtesy, but ;she lacks, grace, she .Tacks corif siderafiori,'fo'f the. feelings 'of/others,.and'.sho lack's reyererioe.'.aiid i.respect.'pf' any'kind; .or description. Instead J of striving to be'-polite,' she-aims at'being' brusque and -boorish,'- and, she-prides-herself" upon ■ her independence,''and upon the fact. that. in ;her efforts to -.appear, perfectly natural she.never.hesitates to express her 'candid' opinion/-or to the truth, ;how 7 . over unpleasant-it-'-may'be,-upon - 'all occasions. - Jl:' brusque independence' is the' mode- of the moment. Where it has sprung from it is hsrdto say. It .may be the fault of modern education, of'it may be all part and'parcel of the'rush; and tear of modern .life,. that leaves the modern-woman little or no margin to cultivate being'polite,.or to-exercise thoso'social amenities, which do,so much to ease the wheels of society;., Possibly! this newsand disastrous' code ■ of manners may have sprung'from the •bridge habit of never hesitating to tell folk what you think, of.,them,,.rather than.murmur- ' ing polite half truths and finding excuses for : j the errors yod "may consider,.your partner, or your, opp'onent. has 'committed.' .J ;Whatever the. cause, the effect .demonstrates that modern manners leave much to be desired in these days, when'to be polite and to make any attempt at "being conrteous'-or'-dcferential. to-the opinions and the. susceptibilities.-of one.'s neighbour's, -savours far ' too: much' pf ,l -being "genteel" and' "ladylike"' to meet with anything"'like universal favour. ,In their anxiety to escape committing so heinaus a crime, women in every .rank. of life.-shun politeness lixe,the plague,' while they affect.,to despise and' look ■ down upon social ■ courtesies—dubbing them' either old-fashioned or suburban. Consequently we find a list of grievances loud and long uponVthe subject. ... ■~.'. -,-'■'•■ The obliging.straprhanger complains of the unTacious bohaviour of the maidens.'to whom he "resigns his. seat; in the Tube., The hostess has her own. particular'.wail, concerning invitations left unanswered and calls left-unpaid; the dowager - grumbles ■ concerning the and the inconsideration 6hown her by. the girls she chnperones;. the modern mother makes no secret of. her - chagrin at- v the scant, courtesyE aid.her by her daughters; while- more than alf the squabbles and the disagreements of family ;life arise out of'the prevailing fashion of .-.'cultivating'' the brutal -habit of retailing home-truths. •■ ■ ,--. . ~.■,- .-,.•.-■,-..' '■.;. What we all v seem -. to have, lost. sight of,, is tlft fact ffiat good manners do not.necessarily mean deceit and hypocrisy; and that hearts of "old need not always be concealed under the. most .-ungracious exteriors.' As-a nation we are far too fond of trying to live up to our reputation for v -gauche ungraciousness, too ready, to believe that the ; cultivation of the arts and graces."of politeness must necessarily mean affectation and insincerity.' . . , Blunt, outspoken home-truths may bo wholesome enough -as' a moral, stimulant,' but when all is said and done it_ would be well for the modern woman to bear inmind:that a gracious readiness to consider; the feelings of other folk is by/no means, attractive.'of feminine charms. ~ ".-•• . " . . . '■;

■"Well," remarked a'gentleman, after a long'argument on-the-question of man's superiority, over woman, at least .there is one good, sweet, and'perfect thing which a man can have, and-a woman cannot;" "Never!" cried'his wife passionately. "Nevor! I deny it!: What do you.mean?'' "A. wife."' ■'' ;..