Page 5 Advertisements Column 5

Dominion, Volume 2, Issue 587, 16 August 1909, Page 5

Lazy Lewis—"l wuz told dat do former wot lives on dat. hill pai'l his hands jisl do same whcdder dc.v worked or not, so 1 wont an' hired t' him." Tired ' Thomas—Don yousc played off sick, I reckon! , " Lazy Lg^is—"Yep, an' at do end ov do mouth 1 fouud dat ho never paid nobody nothin. , no how." "It would pleaso me very much, Miss Stout," said Mr. Mugley, "if you would go to the theatre with me this evening." "Have you secured tho seat," inquired Miss Vera Stout. "Oh, come, now," ho protested, "you'ronot so heavy as all that." Practical Yankee —"Well, yes, , sir. I give up to Shakespeare- was a gonitis ;>T)Ut he didn't kinder scorn to put it to a practical ' use. Never benefited ' civilisation with 'a washing machine, nor a patent turnip-peeler, nor anything of that sort. Still ho was n, smart man." Office Boy—"Tho editor is much obliged to you for allowing him/ to see your drawings, but much TCgrcte ho is unable to uso them?" Pair Artist (oagerly)—"Did ho say that?" Office' Boy (rruthfnlly)—"Well, not exactly. He just said, 'Take 'cm away, Joo; they make mo sick.' " The vicar stopped a parishioner who had " recently .married a man who was roputed to bo'lajy. "Well, Mrs. Brown," lio said, "1 hopo'your• husband is proving a good pro-" vider." "Yes, sir, thank yon, sir, he's pro-vided-mo with three net? placos to wash at since we were- married."