FRIVOLOUS PARLIAMENT.

Dominion, Volume 2, Issue 533, 19 June 1909, Page 7

FRIVOLOUS PARLIAMENT.

SOME FIRST IMPRESSIONS.

■: HOW THE MACHINE WORKS.

(By "New-Chum.") " pity to think that these .five inlada. jn : a, few years will all be -*, 'Ranged-'into frivolous' members of Parliament," said Elia's brother, seeing some Eton. - boys at plaj. Till one has watched its woro- ; ment 3, tho solemnity of Parliajnent is what .lUOift impresses oiw. ,'ihe importance of ita decrees;- tho a~ful mystery and slowness, of operations," :and. terror of its' complicated v' poiiaftioa combine, .to- form this: suggestion l ■ Bi\';tho frivolity of Parliament is far; more characteristic. V; MV.: : .first ..acquaintance .with., tho. ponderous .■■assemblage .might'confirm tho ignorant im- .'. prosaion of its seriousness.'. ; Members file to their seats in tho 'morning—l am speaking ; ofj the-irregular short' session just concluded, i about which I know; too much, but . which .; sums, ,Up my oxperienco of ..Parliament. A ' 6tatcly.;.;-ushor. 'outers before the Speaker,carrying, his Maco, and:the stranger;thinks at onco of CroniTell's '/bauble." It is a very,'substantial bauble; borne upon , the ;usller/si'slioulders it resembles,- from a- i'ii> tance,: an; old-fashioned; gilt,,mahogany bed-, post. ,It is quito /largo-iehqiiih v}»r that. '.Tho-.Speaker opens , the proceedings by read-: .. ingja collect from i.the Anglican. prayer-book. ; which: prays,for. the iiyoirfnnee'of ,sii|'- partial affections and prirr.to interests, to which new :virieiiib(!rs' breathe'/"Amcm," and then look ■ sbrtlotl. : a)Kl ashanwli if -thev had inadvertently broken a Standing Order. V '• ■ . Questions and Answers. 1 ; .The, Speaker calk for questions, aad tho SouSa is jike a sei of tessinj cerlts.. - Half a ;niom bcrs-"bob up' at'once, ejaculating . .;Mjv; Speaker," - and ; fivo.-'-'.subside' im- .; mediately • -as .'■ the" Speaker's .. eye .'is .caught ' by .- number- ' six, '. anil ho. . W'Auhpfs.' " Mr. 'A." ,Mri : A.;' gives notico tojask : the Minister for Railways if a culvert will - be. 'erectedat' Deserted Whare.., He . redds aVstatoment ihat lf the eulrert is not soan;;eonstru c tcd, ! 'the.pbpulation of :Deserted Mhsro. will be washed away. 1 , -Mr. A. sits- - and half-a-dozon other porks bob up. Mr.8.," declares the Speaker, perhaps in- ■ and' Mrv B.'; or' Mr, F., if there has • be£n( announces his intention to the Minister for.-Internal Affairs if he ■ will, the operations of certain agencies, which, under the .pretence of .Si.¥'?6 -.'bonuses, . swindle and '.deceive 1 their -.members in a most nefarious' mariner—for ' Parliamentary s language : can be as plain and-vigorous as that of Holy Writ. One day s questions may run into: several scores, a S».A '.tbrsj. days'' accumulation of questions ' will unmask every hidden need, and lurking sore, and tendency toicorruption . in ; ; th« W®f?: ;P l . O 'trahgerjis impressed anew .with . the'.-Vast importance and solemnity of Parliament,;.and'feels .tl^at' the. serious reception 1 of: so.: numerous and diverse subjects for consideration must bring 1 the milienium . very , soon to pass. .

Conundrums for Ministers Put.it. jg all. a frivolous pretence. Tho questions are conundrumi for ingenious Min- .. ist^rdjlio seldom f«iil ;tc jiv©.* written answer in due, course without commttiDg .• •. tp; anything.- -When petition* are presented, , they come before questions, and from the multitude'of'potitio'ns.presented on. '. ■ 8 iii 11 ®.? Sl ?hject—-th# supply: of-domestic tervantS/fo.r: example:—the unsophisticated person./would.', imagine that the entire Dominion • —? ferment on that subject, and that if .remedial measures were not taken within v.; a V week':at longest .there would be.'a revolution, in the country. Day after day petitions bearing, hundreds', of signatures on the same . subjeotj'-sent-in, byiVarions speakers,, are reoeiyed ;;,as■- : importurbably as '- "Deserted . "hare s'. application for r a culvert.. Members to their constituents that they sen M h « m iri-'/repreeentations-vhavebeen ;, 1 maa« ' -on — and that .is all *that really, lndtters.'. The scriouy'nir of: Parliair.cJit v/hen ■ ■ rt'?™»>y;es. these" rtpresentations ' and 'com'-, ■ plaints is quite misleading. Hardly a mem<' .herbariawhat, happens to, tho claims, and ?. questions :of another ; member.;;., it would be . cottveriioht to. reckon- up -his own services to :■ his ; constituents,- three . years hence, ' at. so ... .. many. culverts, so many, bridges, so many railway-sidings,',but he will not .worry, too long beforehand. • : - Sham Warfare. '• A Bill is brought d«wii, and discussed with v :. much solemnity ar.d ..even 'energy, nn both bklcs, and on lines that soon become fajniliir, . The.Opposition, has an armonry of triume'nts ... with which "to:'annihilate the .Government ; .the. Prime:, Minister, retorts with statements v-. 'which' his ,: followers,; find:. incredibly destructive,' and both aides look exceedingly, well :. , pleased^ : There, is a-mimie Parliament in .'this city, whieh. discusses,, with ,incredible gravall • sorts of" philosophic propoutions, ■ - esUblishes . , sham /'Premiers - and 'overturns .imaginary Ministries, with: so much earnest-: v. neSs.-that one'.can-hardly (beliere .that, its . solo. ; objects. are/ -the "/amusement' of: .its v.. rnembers and thoir perfection in th« : art of • dialectics: The real Parliament, -'after one .' bM, iat. out half, a dozen, of its sittings, ap- ,. pears to be a ridiculous' imitation of ; tho. ,sham.'.'.Assembly.: .:Indeed,..its members-tako themselves a good deal less seriously ; for ; hours .on end the/greater number of them • not even, be to an - interest ■ ! n 'ats. .proceedings...;: They,, ; write.deluding 1 letters: tt :pepple. who, want billets, . and: look ,:, w .names. in the press; reports. ?he'r conduct in the latter' regard is a great tribute j» tie power and influence of the .press. Tnft- member, for ,Lone/ Dog, after reading Th* Dominion, csstsan anxious eye :; ,upon the- Lone Dog "Sentinel,',' and beams .With .satisfaction :when he ; notes that :his , Jxposure. of : ; a 4 crossing-kceper's incompet- - anco, 'or "neafc spoecb." oh the railway service, -telegraphed at'' his own careful in- .. stanct; appears duly; under .two headings.' : 1 Elaborate Oivlilans. . There , are 448 : Standing Orders of Parlia- , ment.v and one; conceives a . sudden admiration for Mr. Guinness, who, presumably, as - as 5 catalogue - at : . his, tongue-. : tip.' . The tremendous formaliam of divisions is-impressive, till ifc.ia made to seem .mono- ■ tonous and almost foolish by repetition; The : r . u .', Cs '"to that; when, a' division is called, for. N tlle Clerk, is to . turn a - two-minuto sandglass, kept on the table for that purpose, and the doors are not to bo closed until after ■ the , lapse of two; minutes,' as indicated by • such' sand-glass. 'The doors are to be closed .so :soo'n ,aifter the 'lapse..of two mimites as the .Speaker or the .Chairman of a.Committee of the.- whole House shall think proper, to , direct.,. When'the'/doors have been loeked, and all the members are! in, their places,. MrSjrtaker/.puts the '.question', and, after tho vrices hayo been given, declares whether, in , his, Ojiiiien,'', the " Ayes " or the " Noes'" , '««re it," which not being agreed te, he ■ ..directs the Ayes' ".to pass "t« the right,and the,, "Noesto : tho left, .and appoints two ' > teljerftforeaeh party. In practice it appears' ' that'the'" Ayes " are'never allowed, to, "havo ■ if'.-by the opposite party, if a single member ha« voted f'No,",.!*nd' time' is ' lavishly expended in thft cumbrous operations of lacking and ualoekine doors and counting members, which,*! ay have to .be .performed. two • or . three times in : half, an hour. • The advantage efithe/system ia : to 'make :it verjr difficult f»r the House to be. hustled or misled, into . any. decision centrary to: the understanding . -portion _ef its. reembers. When the Gor- , ernment Whip rarchei up te a back scat on or." occasion, and ißolemnly, returned piloting u'tovhis. propr door a.:M«ori member twice ; hi*, swe;. tns: solemnity was ha.rdly realised 1 : to '.the.; Bouse, .and "towing , 't';6 Dreadnought", was a'natural comparison , . Th'c • sodato and ie<lcntary members of the j ; Council, adopt a much simpler procedure j

A Man in Earnest. . Tlit-ro is on© man in the House who is alu';(VS/.terribly, in earnest, .ami thai is Mr. ■T;-'l'V- Taylor, member for Chi'istchurch North. No charge-of; frivolity a« regardi his-. Parliamentary. • dutiea car.,ever. lie ajainat him. , The; attitude of.- a majority of "'members. suggests. often that they are pla.ving at a game —-soiiiotimM. n.,cam«';.which they find excitingV or diverting, or:.pleasant, sometimes a gamo of' which they are rather tired. Other members in tho House are bo sad or serious that , they can hardly 'be imagined as playing a Ell, for example—but thev have none of- the' cxcitemont of even a mock oo&

I test, .'for thoy _ are supremely confident that everything thoir own sitlo doos is right, and beyond argument, and, like tho truth, must. I prevail'"when none cares whether it prevail lor not." Parliament must bo very mon- ! otouous. place; to men who liold this viuw, but to Mr. T.' E. Taylor it is never mbnotonous or play, but dosperato war, in which every nerve aad sinew must be exerted. When the Native Minister presents a Parliamentary paper, dealing with tho Maori School at Hinomoatangi, and other members jaivn, Mr Tay. lor is on his feet to learn tho subject of the piper—he had not caught the title. During the first informal meeting it was a stimulus .to mental energy; to wateh tho avidity with which he listened to the Prime Minister's long speech, to see him jot down notes for the discomfiture; of tho Leader of tho House, each note like ono of tho six stones which Darid chose to use against tho giant, to observe, tho restless oagerness with which ho awaited tho moment for hisiown attack. In rir;ht courses, and in wrong, there is a terrible earnestness about Mr. Taylor which raalccs him almost an anomalous figure in the Houseof Representative's. ': . '