THE CHANGING SCENE

Dominion, Volume 1, Issue 45, 16 November 1907, Page 6

THE CHANGING SCENE

A BIRD'S EYE VIEW.

[Br a Casual Chronicmr.]

The Mayor said that tho Council had given permission for .nothing on Sundays, but tho playing of the band, and lie had.intimated to the directors that they would • hnve to be careful- that suitable music was played. When tho band strikes up on Sunday, let it reverently play; ; , let it shun the sinful cake walk thatwilllead our souls astray; ■ '"'' Let it move us not to pleasure'."let u» all be grave, and glum; y ■ For a sombre,, mournful face is the only way to Brace; Like the clods upon a coffin be tho beating of tho drum. ' ' •■• Alas! 'the sun is shining 'on "the blessed Seventh Day, ■ \ ■, And Pnffan birds distress us with a lively roundelay; But we'll'set a good example, andiwo'U counteract their glee; > •. ■ ' And tho funeral march will boom, and produce that dark-grey, gloom That is obviously essential to a, genuine piety. Let no mirth'or merry'music'-cast its blight - upon the day; . . '.-_, ..,.,,;,.., ■Take the Corporation's programme; let the band discreetly play: '~■ . : .■ Draw, the blinds, and sit in darkness,'and bo carefnl not to smile. For its Sunday, "and damnation," says tho , careful Corporation,. "Waits on pleasure, and,the ragtime is but Satan's fatal guile.".'., ■,;<„,, "I see," said Mr. Dooley,'."that there's gravo dissatisfaction at tho'slowness of the funerals, an' a rayporther has learned frim a ministher iv th' Gospel that th'- fallin' off in th' attendance at th' graveside is due t' th' waste ivtime involved," .; _'

"Will they'.do anything?", asked Mr. Hennessy. ... r ' ..'.' • .'•• ,' ■-.. ■

"I dinnaw, Jawn; hut th'.: position's becomin' acute. Death is losin' its one attraction. What is th' uso iv departin' fr'm this valo iv tears whin* ye know'that, yere frinds is too much occypied 'witH* £h' hustle f r th' crust t' threat thirnsilves t'.'a day off t' see you safely laid t' rest. Is' death' Worrth dyin ? is becomin' an- urrgent quistion.- Brown expires, an' th , ministher, lookin' roun', finds three people present*at.th''sad'ce'r'mony. Th' others are mourrnin , in th',city'.as they, dash roun 'afther th'. dollar/ 'Poor. Brown, , says Smith, 'I wild have liked'tSse'eihim buried, but I can't afforrd it. Th' fi'ineral system's out of date/.he says, 'an'..'these.days comp'tition's so hot that.l will nivec-J-iayo th' pleasure iv attendin' annywan's funeral ontil rapid thransifc is inaugurated,' says ho. 'Tis a shame, Jawn, an , an outrage on th' tendher an' sufferin'- hearrts yv. th' sorrowin' frinds iv Wellin'ton's deparrtetl citizens. 1 don't mind' spendin' an hour,'- says th' mom , -, ner, 'but no wan can claiminoro'iv mo time, an', th' ondhertaker should got up-to-date.' He's th'wan anachronism; as 'Hogan: calls it, , in this city, , an'-onless'he moves with, th' times th' Guv'mint, always ready.t' do what private entherpriso can't do,;will set up as rapid ohdhertakers.,' It wiil soon, in anny case." .

The placidity of the Government was dispelled in ' dramatic fashion" the - other day when Mr.; Massoy mentioned the borrowing performances of the Government. Tho Premier cast aside' his suavity, and in great alarm protested that Mr. Massey's speech might damage the colony's credit.

In a general way interested ■- ■ In passing benevolent laws— What odds though imperfectly tested, : And shockingly, riddled with'flaws?— The Ministry's fur too well-bred to Grow warm at assaults on their skill, As statesmen in England are said to— .. Thero's nothing at stake in a bill.

,Thc raenon tho opposite benches May rave of injustice ad lib., But nary a .'Minister blenches: .■ . lie welcomest the sulphurous squib. He lies at'his ease, and relies on His henchmen to carry things through; No cloud;mars his'pleasant horizon; His sky is inviolate blue.

The rising of prices, the wishes Of settlers grown sick of. mnd> holes. ■.• The fight for the loaves; and tho fishes Of Public Works Estimates doles, The climate, so sadly inferior. The country tof culture' quite bare, You may. mention all these, and.'they'll hear your ■ ■'. .".'■'"■;•. Attack • without turning a'hair.

But mention tho way that we , borrow, And, lolwhata tiger you rouse! • What volumes of anpor, and "sorrow Appal an electrified Houso,!'".• How swift falls the Government's curse on . Tho critic whose heavy. footfalls . Hay'frighten the.timorous person ' .''•', Who hangs but the Three. , , Gulden Balls. ' . "The eye' of 'the world'ig' u'p'on.us?" : '' A fig for that favourless eye! '■ ''•'•' •'■'■ '■' "Philosophers everywhere'• con us?"— It's not for their plaudits we sigh. The great One who matters; whoso censuro Our efforts are l aimed to prevent, .Is the Uncle who'll.tako a debonture And pnwn us , for something per cent. Courage is not dead. The evening paper on Tuesday printed a cable message stating that "Professor Dowell,..of. Arizona, telegraphs that condensations give- two of Saturn's the'appearance of being about to fall on this'planet." With' true journalistic indifferenco.to.ruin, the subeditor put up tho heading, "Are 'new moons forming?" and quietly added a footnote-in which he said that "the collapse of the rings would bo of vast interest." ..Was he; thju.'bqy who stood on tho burning deck? ,' ' ' ' •'General Booth," says a cable message, "announces that there will shortly be realised the greatest colonisation scheme since tho days of Moses. There is, ho says, room in South Africa for all Britons unemployed, and ho intends planting them.there."., With tho exception of ..the. longevity .performance of Motliuselah,,there will bo no more of tho old records left when tho General has carried out his plan. , . ~ .',.., '