Miscellaneous.

Clutha Leader, Volume II, Issue 85, 24 February 1876, Page 3

Miscellaneous.

A RAIBROAfnijEIJSS.--

„ There is a story/ going- the; rounds of how! a railroad company kissed a pretty woman and paid for it. The pretty wom'an was a passenger 6bl the Chicago, and ! North- western Hail way ? and the Coiijpany^performed the osculatory act : through the agency of a conductor. She was asleep, her pre.tty pouting lips 'were just in position, and he couldn't deny it. If the people had not seen it the, offended fair would have had less reason for complaint : at ,aiiy rate she -would have been unable to sustain the charge with proof. As it was she had her action for da mages and she brought it; ■ In what exactly the damages were alleged to consist we have not been informed' but the jury brought in- a verdict; of 1.0.0.0 dollars against the company. The suit ' might have been brought against the conductor himself, to' be sure ; but it was . easier to make, the money out of the corporation. Now, 1,000 dollars is a good deal of money to pay for just one kiss, though there are people who would not consider it exorbitant undei certain conditions ; but to be compelled^ to pay so large a sum for one kiss which you have only taken by proxy, and which you cannot be said to . have enjoyed at all, is hard indeed, : Iti must be admited, however, that a company is liable for the damages inflicted upon its patrons by its agents, and this particular corporation will do well to provide itself in future with officers -less j susceptible than he who kissed at another's expense. A LIVELY NIGHT. Once upon a time, says Charles Lever, the tenants on an estate in Kerry assembled to meet the worthy English baronet who had purchased the property .and who, with his agent, watched eagerly for some result of the many ." improvements " which, at a great cost} he had; endeavoured to introduce to the wild and untutored peasants of the district. The agent presents' the tenants to the worthy innovator, who inquires into the condition of., the grumbling and dissatisfied recipients of his favours. At; length, on a tenant presenting himself wnom the agent fails to recognise, the baronet turns to the figure before him, which, with face and head swollen, out of all proportion, and showing distorted features and fiery eyes, through the folds of a cotton handkerchief awaits his address in sullen silence. Who are you, my good man ? What has happened to you V 'Faix an' its well that you may ax: me own mother wouldn't know me this blessed morning: 'tis all your own doing entirely.' 'My doing,!' replies the astonished landlord. What can I have to do with the state yaii are in my good man V ' Yes it is your doin','.answered the enraged proprietor of the swollen head; 'tis all your doin', and well ye may be proud of it. ' 'Twas them blessed bees" ye" gave me. We brought the devils into the house last night, an' wiiere did we put them but in the pig's corner. Well,- afore Katty an' thechilderyan'' myself was -a while .in bed' the pig goes routin about the' house, and he wasn't aisy: till he hooked his nose.into. the. hive, an- spilt , the bees about the flure, and thin whin I got out of bed to let out the pig tti'at : was aroaring- through the -house, the*. „ ; bee's : settled down on me, an' I jumped irito the bed agin -.. wi^j the whole of thim af^her me, into Katty an' thechilder; an' thin, what with the bees ft-buzzin' arid a-sti'^gin' us underthe: clothes, out' we all !; got agin, ; -and ;the : devil such; ( a night. 7/as ever spent in Ireland as was spent last night. "What wid Katty and < the childer^ a:-roarin? an ? . a^ballin, , and .tkje tearing up and down like mad, and Katty wid the besom,, and, myself wid tli'e. fryin'-pan flattemn the bees agin -the wall tiUmprnin' ; and then the sighY .wfe wdr; in " the inornin' -- "begor, its' ashamed of yourself ye ought to^beM '. THE LATE DEAN OF CJTrCHESTEft. ; ■ Dr Hook. never ceased/to bea n edit, ca'tor of the masses. It washis : own ..boast that' for more' than thirty years he ■had "laboured' in -the ; manufacturing 'districts^ njbt ; for the working, Classes* but with them, in the measures', desired by themselves fpr ; the/improvement ,x>f : , their class^and .haying' for their-, object* the formation of, habits of temperance and prudence, and especially that lie, had worked with them iii the cause ; ttf national recreation and of "education." To this, phase of.'the.r education, movenient Dr. Hook adhered to " tlae last; and it was with a view, to .aid,. this, wide ..and general step in the education of the masses that* late in life he joined the .temperance movement, and actually be-' cbme a sworn- teetotaler; He : used to tell the story of his change in this •direction" iif "tire " following" way :— " I ,had in my parish at' Leeds a man who earned 18s a- week;. out- of this he used ■ to give 7s to hii wife,: and. to 'spend the .rest in- drink ; .but -for a<lltlJhat he was a good sort of man Iwent to him and said -•: ■■ '* Now, : suppose , you /abstain; (altogether for six .months.' ' Well, if L ; i ;do — will*- you,- Sir ?' .1 was.. the reply. '■YesfJh said, f I-,wili& ,-.,« What,'- said he, * from'beer, from spirits^- and, from: :wineT '-';¥&? ■?' '[ how- : -shaft-- ■ %\ knp.vy -if you keep' your promise 1 ?!; * Why: you ask mytnissesj- and- -I'll, ask, yours.' It was agreed between us. for six months at first,' and afterwards ;we>ftenexv:ed< the promise. ,., He never resumed the bad' ■ habit had' lefroff/ arid js.no.'vp a prosperous! and happy man'injbusinJßSs at St. Petersburg,- and I- a'm;;Dean)i of Winchester."- ; • .'-i - "

Some modern .philosopher." has ; given ' iin these-. .elavfiu^Jines; '.the-.drammaty -. o£ life :; — „--.,.. , ... ■■.;-.-.•. ,- ■ 7 years in childhood's sport ahd play '.«' ' 7 7 years in school from, day to day . ... li 7 years in trade or college ' ' ... 21 ; 7 years to find a place and wife ... 28 ;;7 years 'to pleasure's follies given .. 35 " , 7 years to business hardly driven. ' .". 42.". ' 7 years lor some wild goose chase ... 49 . 7 : yeara for wealth and bootless raco, ... 56 > 7 years' for hoarding for your heir ... 63 7 years for weakness spent and Care ... 70 „, Then die, and go "you should kcow where 1 ! A pleasant' bit of arithmetic. The 'lear-ned author says nothing,, about seven years' transportation, an idea that ought to have struck him in alliance, witty seven. \ ..' -„. ; HOW TO TREAT STRANGERS. A Sabbath School missionary -in the "V^estj while addressing a Sabbath School, noticed a , little girl shabbily dresjsed and bare-footed, shrinking in a corner, her little sunburnt -face buried in her hand, the tears, trickling between her small fingers, and sobbing as if her heart would ..break; Soon, however, another little girl, about eleven yeaYs old, got up and vfent to her,; and taking her by the hand, led her .toward a brook, then seated her on a log, and kneeling beside her, she took off her ragged sunbonnet and dipp.ing; her hnnd into the water, bathed her -hot eyes and tear-stained face, and talking in a cheery manner all the while. The little one brightened' up, the the tears all went, and smiles came creeping around the rosy mouth. The. missionary stepped forward and said : . -.-...- . ; : .'. .< . '"'. . *f Is that your sister my dear ?" " No, sir," answered the noble child with tender, earnest eyes,.. "'.I have no sister, sir." " 0, one of the neighbor's children," replied the missionary— " little schoolmate perhaps." "No, sir; she is a stranger. I do not know where she came from, I never savv her, before." "Then how came, you to take he* out, and have such a care for her if you don't know her?" f V Because she was a stranger, sir, and seemed all alone,, and .needed somebody to be kind to her." A GRAPHIC DESCRIPTION OE CHINA. A country where the; roses have, no fragrance, and" the women no pettfcoats; where the laborer has no Sabbath," and" the magistrates no sense of honor; where the roads bear no vehicles, and the ships no keels; where' old men fly kites; where the needle points to south,and the sign .of being puzzled is to scratch the antipodes on the heel; where the place of honor, is. on tho. left hand, and the seat of intellect is in the stomach; where to take. off. .your hat, is^ an insolent gesture, and to wear \tfhite garments is to put yourself in mourning; which -has- a literature- without an alphabet;- and a language, without a grammar. THE WONDERS OF AN HEN'S EGG.' The hen has scarcely sat^ on her eggs twelve hours before some lineanierif s of the head and body of the ' chicken appear. The heart may be seen to beat the end-.of ; the Tsecond^dayj^.it has 'to that time somewhat the form bf'ahbrseBhpe; but : no iblood. yet, appears;.; At the end of two. days two vessels of blood are distinguishedj i the pulsation of -which invisible ; one, of .these is the left ventricle, and the" other the toot ofjtbe great; artery. . At. the. .fifteenth hojar one auricle of the heart appears, resembling a noose folded -'clown upon ,its,elf. ., , The beating, of , the heart , is . first observed .in tlie . auricle, . and ' afterwards, in the'V,e.n,tri,cle; A t- the end : , ofjserenty hours the wings are distiri.giiishable; and : on t the headttwo bnbbjes .are seen for the brain, one for the bill, 'and two for the fore and hind 'part of "the head. Towards the end of the ifourth day the : two- auricles- aifeady .'draw .nearer, to the heart ,than before. ; The liver' appears towards' the fifth* day. , At the end,: bf seven; feours.: mote, the .lungs and stomach become visible, and four hours afterwards .--the. .•intestines,--: and loins, and upper jaw.. A'vtfe^ne,hundred'attd forty-fourth h6\i : f tw6 : Ven.^ tricles are visible, and two drops r of bl;ood instead.-; pf^thq vsingje one whichwas seen before! iKe the brain begins t6 h^Ve's'oni'e^cdnsistency-., , Ajt .the. one_ hundred_and_ _ njiieteenth hour of . in-cu^atipn ; thje jbfll 'one. ns ? .an^ the flesh ,'appears in the breast!'* in '"feuri." hpurs more t^^« : b.r6a'st;bone.is seen. ;In six hours after this the libs appear firmly froni tire hack, ■ and the bill is' very f viMbje, as well as the gall-bladder. The bill becomes gteenJ&t -the end of two ..hundred . - an.fi , thiisy-si;s: k hoprs.; ; andif the : chick is taken 'out of its covering ifc -evidently' moves'-' MelfV^ At" 'the Wo hiundred -:and „eight ^eigji tb.. , hpur the ""ribs are perfect! Af the three hundred and- thirty-firsi iio^rrtlie-! spleen draws njear the^ ,_, s,tomacji *; ; a'ndv.lungs to the chest, "At the three hundred and fifty t fifth hour.the bilbfrequflntlyro^ens^and shuts ; and at the en^ of the eighteenth" 'day the flrkcry bfthechiclceriTs fieard, lit afterwards gets-njore strength and g r ? w ,s 'Continually-. tiU, ..length it,- as., enabled' to sefitseli'freetr'om its cori-l; ;f|nem?n!t.-; , ;<: ; ;. ; --; ; .■,.-'.. t s , • \ \,. v ■ ....-,„,,, 7,';

I J NapoledA^as'bne (iay-'s^i'cbing^fo'r 1 , a bookin^hjsslibrary/ra'nd) at Jast ,dis-/ coygretf.-it on^a .shelf somewhat. above his reacK. Marsh al" Monce'yf one of the ; tallest meri y in 'the- array steppedfforw'aFd,3 a y in &j/:"?erm^;n3e ? sire f ! J i anTt.hig)iei'. than your Majesty.." , "You are longer, Marsh^/*^ ; s^d s i!ve^mpef6ri^^#^ frown.

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