THE ABC OF FAILURE

Press, 15 February 1986, Page 18

THE ABC OF FAILURE

By

WHIM WHAM

Students would be given a grade from A to D, or possibly E, to indicate their competence at a subject. That would remove a pass-fail concept inherent in the present marking system. — The Minister of Education, Mr Marshal], on school certificate examinations.

They count your Marks, and that’s the Sum Which shows how bright You are — or dumb. They place You First, Second, or Third — Is This immoral, or absurd? The Arithmetic of Failure hurts, Can it compute your true Deserts? Or do You think you’d feel much better If GRADED by a simple Letter? Passed by an A, or B, or C, Failed by a D, doomed by an E —? Somebody’s sure to be upset. Shall we reverse the Alphabet — If A-B-C-D Syndromes trouble You, How about Grades Z-Y-X-W? Or Signs we neither write nor speak? Coptic, or good old-fashioned Greek? If This means Pass, and That means Fail, Your Friends won’t know, and You won’t wail — How long? Until we recognise The Brand behind the thin Disguise! Children and All of us, how far shall We dance behind Pied Piper Marshall — Sweet Music to our careless Classes Where No-one fails — and No-one passes? We count our Cricket Scores, we sail, We “run to win, we sometimes fail, Dazzled by Gold — he thinks we’re nutty! Shouldn’t our Medals all be Putty?