Reporter's Diary

Press, 18 April 1979, Page 2

Reporter's Diary

Double take FOUR YOUNG ‘Christchurch people did something of a double takq over the Easter break. They had been visiting the Queen Elizabeth II Park complex and had parked their Volkswagen in the car-park. Later, when they were leaving, they discovered to their horror that, although they were driving a Volkswagen, it was a different one. They had driven some distance down the road before they realised their mistake — after all, the key had fitted both the door lock and .the ignition. They could not'get it back to the carpark- fast enough, hoping Thai the owner had not Xurped up in. the meantime and reported a stolen car -to the, police. Luckily, he or she had not discovered their mistake so, after returning the car tq its orig. inal park, they found the right VW and scarpered. Distillation of irit THE TAMQUS cartoonist Michael Heath, was in a jocular mood last week, according to a report from London, when he received his prize Of a cheque for £5OO for the first Glen Grant Cartoonist of the Year Award. “It couldn't

have happened to a nicer goak,” he said when accepting the cheque and silver, trophy. A delay in announcing the awards meant that the two cases pf whisky awarded to the winners and runners-up in each section of the contest had to be dispatched before the presentation. And it was this, observers suggested, that was responsible for the absence of several prizewinners. Heath’s winning cartoon depicts, an insect-like hitch-hiker lying stranded On his enormous, rucksack while two men .rush to help him up. One of them is saying - fp- otjier, “Apparently ; they die if they’re not put the right way up.”

■4 good beating TRAINEE home economics teachers — presumably experts in beating and whipping their culinary creations — are the strongest advocates of corporal punishment. This is one of the more surprising findings of a survey on corporal punishment made by . the Student Teachers’ Association. The survey also showed that, as teacher trainees neared the end of their college course, they favoured cor-

poral punishment more. Those aged under 23 were more keen on corporal punishment than older trainees. The association made the survey to give a guideline on future policy on the topic. Present policy is that there should be no corporal punishment in schools. Faring well A BOOKLET has just been issued by the Health Department offering advice on health for world travellers. The booklet, called “Fare Well,” contains information about necessary immunisation, as well as advice on how to avoid discomfort on long flights, and what precautions to take to counter all sorts of environmental hazards, such as contaminated water, and exotic diseases. For example, “If your journey is to Europe,” the booklet says, “it is best to travel east to west both going there and coming back. That way, you spend more time in darkness, which makes it easier to sleep, and means you are offered meals less frequently, and so are less tempted to over-eat.” Zillmerised

AN ALL-TIME high (or is it low ) in gobbledegook has been discovered in a Europen Economic Community directive on direct life assurance by a British

company executive. The Common Market Commission, says the directive, will submit proposals for harmonising different concepts of profits “where Zillmerizing is not practised, or where,, if practised, it is less than the loading for acquisition costs included in the premium, the difference between a non-Zillmerized or partially-Zillmerized mathematic reserve and a mathematical reserve ZilImerized at a rate equal to the loading for acquisition costs included in the premium ...” and so it goes on. Attempts by the executive to discover the meaning of this fascinating word provpd fruitless. He even telephoned the E.E.C. office in London. A spokesman for the Commission, asked about Zillmerizing, admitted: “I haven’t the faintest idea what it is.” II hat it's all about AFTER' glancing at a parish news sheet that had just been popped into his letter box, a Merivale parishioner exlaimed, “Oh, fancy that. St Mary’s. Haven’t been inside for years.” “Why not come along at Easter?” said the distributor, “You’ll be very welcome.” The man looked somewhat surprised. “Easter?” he said. “Why,- is there something special on? ’ —Felicity Price