IN LIGHTER VEIN.

Press, Volume XLIX, Issue 14830, 22 November 1913, Page 9

IN LIGHTER VEIN.

Wife: "Henry, yon need a rest. Lot us go to Bongtong Springs." Hub: ''That place! Why, it's only fit for women and fools." Wife: "I know it. Let's go there together."—'"Boston Transcript." "What advantage do you claim for the reference book which you have bought!''" "I never knew of another book from which one could fin;J out so quickly what if does not contain."— "Buffalo Express." At the Big Store.—"Floorwalker, I have sprained my anklo on your confounded slippery floor." ''Yes, sir. Quite so, sir. Arnica, next counter, sir. Bandages, second aisle to tho left."—"Evening Standard." S. Kidder: "Is that Wantley's automobile. Pete Rol: "He calls it his. First he x )ut a mortgage on his house to buy the car; then he put a mortgage on the car to pay for repairs; and now he is figuring how to raise money to purchase gasolene."—"Judge."" "Eγ—Sophie—or—l believe your mistress and tho young ladies have arranged to go to—er—Winklemouth for their holidays. Do you happen to—ah —have any idea whether they aro—er— taking me?"—" London Opinion." Too Rapid.—"lsn't it queer the 'movies' never show us any of these Central American revolutions?" • "Not a bit. As a matter of truth, they haven't perfected a film machine yet that can revolve as fast as tho revolutions."—"St. Louis Republic." Ensnared.—Kitty: "Oh, Ethel, Jack has . finally proposed. I knew he would." Ethel: "Why, you eaid you thought he' had no intention whatever of proposing." ■-- . Kitty: "Well, he didn't have." —''Boston Transcript".