NO KIDDING

Bay of Plenty Beacon, Volume 7, Issue 75, 23 May 1944, Page 5

NO KIDDING

"GOATS IS GOATS" MINE HOST HAS A BRAIN-WAVE The appearance of a fine black ( kid (goat) on the spacious lawns of an hotel not 100 miles from Whakatane, following so closely on the recent purchase by a local pastry-cook of three guinea pigs„ prompted our star reporter (always keen on the scent) to interview the proprietor. "Yes, my boy," said he, "we like to keep up with the times. If pigs is pigs, then goats .is goats, and goats is coupon-free. I have managed, solely by my own efforts and at considerable personal expense to keep this hostelry in fresh and smoked trout during the season and I feel that my guest.s are entitled to a change of diet." We gather that this kid (the goat) is merely the four-runner of an am' bitious scheme, and that the Port, Whakatane and Scow No. 288 (for security reasons we are unable to give the name of the boat, for which see "N.Z. Herald") and all the young goats on Whale Island are to be collected and tethered on the lawn. The lawn is to be divided into numbered strips, by wires like a run-v ning track to which one goat each, will be attached by a chain, each thus having its own lifde paddock. Families staying not less than a week will have the privilege of choosing their own meat and we ean visualise Father and Mother on a fine. Saturday morning selecting a' nice sirloin roast "off No. 9 please," for Sunday's dinner. "Certainly, Sir, at your service, Sir." It is intended eventually to train the animals to run races on a strictly non-totalisator basis, the first race to be fittingly called "Whale Island's . Curry." Peter the ously consented to officiate as Bill the Parrot the Starter and do all scratchings necessary. Any slight toughtening of the meat in consequence of the racing will it is felt be graciously overlooked by the guests, in view of this ambitious attempt by the management to add to the amenities of the town.