COPPER TRAIL DERBY

Bay of Plenty Beacon, Volume 7, Issue 67, 26 April 1944, Page 8

COPPER TRAIL DERBY

JUNIOR RED CROSS EFFORT

PUBLIC LOSES HEAVILY

Residents of Whakatane were left penniless on Friday last when the Junior Red Cross sprung a copper trail (not to be confused with a copper's trail i.e. mammoth footprints in the sands of time) on the unsuspecting citizens of "the industrial city of the plains" and drained them literally dry of their resources of bronze metal. Indeed, so hard hit was the town that not only did the public's pocket cease to jingle jangle jingle but many were also denied the privilege of pursuing that ancient and venerable pastime so beloved of the Diggers of both wars but for which however two pennies (preferably double headers) are a vital necessity. In charge of members of the JRC, both boys and girls, the. trails stretched as far as the eye could see 'in all directions on both sides of the street and rather took the form of two political factions, the Lefts and the Rights, engaged in a battle of the giants, to see who could stretch their two cent bits the furthest. We are almost ashamed to say that we noticed several of the Leftists jumping on their pennies in an effort to elongate them and thus take j the lead from their opponents who were engaged in Hashing dental displays and murmering honeyed phrases in an effort to attract the business men after the. style of Ulysses and the syrens. Many indeed were the shopkeepers Avho slun'k along in the shadows in. an effort to evade those merciless brown lines —it is reported that some even went round the old Opotiki road and came in the other way in order to get from one end of the town to the other. But few escaped. Some thought they were immune but quoting, or rather misquoting, those famous Avord, "they game to ieer, but stayed to pay." One of the local business men in passing stooped to inspect more closely the "thin brown line" but they caught him bending and instead of inspecting the line, he added to it. As hour succeeded hour the battle for supremacy between the two trails waxed more and more furious. The lights even tried the" 1 brilliant idea of taking pennies from the beginning and tacking them on to the end of their trail until one of the Fifth Form mathematical geniuses (or are the genii), conceived the fact, that they would further their interests much quicker if they took them from the other .side of the street. In order to give the reading public a better idea of the manner in which the two parties fought with each other to reach the centre of the town in the shortest time we have decided to tell you as Gordon Hutter would, %nd have taken a leaf from his book accordingly: "The balloon is down and the Junior Red Cross members and local residents are lined up at the barrier. They're away—and the Lefts have taken the lead from the Rights by a good four coppers. Now as they come round the turn, into the quarter mile, the order 'is —Copper Trail who is being given a wide berth by Business men. The public is laying its money heavily on The Footpath. Local Pawnbroker is hard (up) on the rails. His Worship is well out of it. American Serviceman is still giving. And now, as they pass the four furlong post Editor rushes, past Copper Trail without being caught; but they're, closing in op v him. They'll get him —he's down. And now the Rights have taken the lead from Cheating. But Copper is coming in at a fast rate. The Public is being beaten. Copper Trail is travelling faster. The Rights have passed The Theatre. The Lefts are dropping behind. And now as they come round the. turn into the straight the order is Exhausted from Working which is closely followed by Refreshments and then conies Solicitors and Civil Servants who have stayed in the rear all through, closely followed hv lieporter who was mistaken for Millionaire earlier in the race. Public Accountant is being pressed but he won't give. But now as they come closer Goal is in sight. The Left and The Right sweep forward and the Post is passed with Goal well to the rear, and Bank of New Zealand to be complimented for keeping level with Demand throughout the race. Yes Sir. It was a great race. A great race. Hello —there's a protest. Bank Balance, weighed in light. Never mind, the dividend was well up in the two figures although the Junior Red Cross were the only ones who collected. Smart work all round on their part. Congratulations." Well that's how it struck us anyAvay!