YOUR PERSONALITY

Bay of Plenty Beacon, Volume 5, Issue 9, 28 January 1942, Page 2

YOUR PERSONALITY

SECRET OF BEING NICE

SUME VERY OLD VIRTUES

It's a silly question, isn't it? Everybody wants to be popular. We all see a mental picture of ourselves, looking radiant, the centre of a group of attractive men and wo-

men, with everyone handing on our words —but alas! the dream is too often far from the reality. The fa?b is. that so many poor, tongue-tied violets, nestling behind the mossy stone of their shyness, can make their dreams come true if they make a slight effort. We mean by popular, *'to be like and admired by people generally," as one dictionary puts it. They can be sure of having their evenings well filled, their company sought, and of being always in demand for any social events It's net difficult if you know how. Everyone has that spark of something that makes people like her — in most cases it's just a question of bringing it out and adapting it to the personalities of the different!

people one 1 meets. Taking for granted then, thai somewhere inside yen—however deeply buried—is the ability to sort oul pour character with the things people like in you well on top, Ave should like to give you a few ideas nf what, we think goes to make popularity. Banish from your dreams that vision of yourself making a witty and sarcastic speech; of playing the Concerto in xl minor so brilliantly that there is that sought-after hush before the applause breaks all records; of being the heroine of a fast nnd furious tennis match. Those nrc not the tilings that make a girl popular—in fact they tend to make her unpopular because they produce Inferiority complexes in other people! No, we could tell you in one word the whole key to popularity, but it's an old-fashioned recipe that you would probably stop reading here and now, so we'll tell you an hon-est-to-goodness true story of a popular girl, instead.

A year or two ago there came to our publishing office a gi.rl not very pretty, not very smart, but definitely nice. That's an odd adjective, but strangely enough it was universal where Louise was concerned. When we discovered that Louise

was the best' example of a popular tiirl that we knew, we decided to find out exactly why. We told you that she was not really pretty, and certainly not smart, although she followed all the beauty rules and made the best of herself—so looks were ruled out. We concentrated on her other points, and we Avere surprised to find that she possessed all the old-fashioned virtues. She didn't try tSo be clever at other people's expense, and she wasn't particularly witty. What she had done was to build up her own individual personality—not tried to adopt someone else's—based on all the things which, as a child, she had learned went to make a nice person.

She was considerate—in an unobtrusive way; she helped do jobs that ivere really for less important people, so that they could finish more quickly; she never kept people waiting for appointments. She was kind—she never forgot to bring things she had promised to lend; she always had a sj'mpathctic ear for troubles; she never said catty tilings about people. She Avas honest—gave you her opinion, when asked, sincerely and without beating about the bush ; neA'er lied to anyone for the sake of convenience or any other reason; admitted and apologised when she had been proved ox convinced to be wrong. She was clean—never had any "off" Avhite touches on her frocks, or grubby shoulder-straps in view; her bands, nails and hair always looked fresh from the tub; she never told eA-en slightly soiled stories. She Avas unselfish—not in that martyred Avay that is so trying, but

in the little things that we would probably not have noticed if we had not been studying her intently to discover her secret. And this was only her behaviour towards us—the rather unimportant people in her life, the girl with tvhom she worked. But it Avas so sincere and natural to her that it obviously was her real character. The best way to popularity for yourself is to find out Avhat youi like in other people—and what we liked in Louise was the trouble she took to be charming and really kind toi, ami interested in us. So you sec, we could have told you (Continued in next column)