Local and General

Bay of Plenty Beacon, Volume 4, Issue 167, 13 October 1941, Page 4

Local and General

Rain sit Te Puke. With steady rain falling practically continuously since Monday, 4.78 inches were registered at Te Puke last week, bringing the month's total to 5.98 inches. Thursday's steady downpour registered 2.04 inches. Military Dance. • On Tuesday, October 21, the Edgecumbe Hall will be the scene of a large gathering when the local company of Territorials is to hold a dance. The object of the function is to raise funds which will be devoted to assisting the troops in their training, and as this is the first occasion that the men have held such a function it will no doubt attract full support. j

Red Cross competitions. The winners of competitions held recently by the local branch of the Red Cross Society are announced as follows: Crystal Bowl, Mrs Rangi; Half-ton Coal, Nesta Atkinson; Groceries No. 1, E. Thompson; Groceries No. 2, Mrs Woldyke; Sugar No. 3, Norma Howell; Sugar No. 4, Mrs N. G. Bridger. Outward Cargo. During the year en-ded September 30 the Whakatane Harbour Board's outward cargoes were 14411% tons as compared with 13971% tons (193940), an increase for the year 1940-41 of 440% tons. Increases in outward cargo were due mainly to butter (311 tons) and cheese (576 tons), while the decreases are timber (196 tons) and cardboard (229% tons). In 1930-40, 229% tons cardboard from the Paper Mills was exported, whereas this year the return showned nil.

You're Telling Me! A soldier, writing home, tells this one from Cairo: Two Americans lounged in a bar. Said one: "Say, can you tell me how you'd know New Zealanders from Australians?" Replied his companion; "Sure. Ihe New Zealanders are those guys who roam around the town as though they OAvn it. The Australians are the guys who roam around as though they don't give a damn who owns it!"

A. Rough Patient,

Before he was overpowered by six other soldiers, a convalscent influenza patient in the emergency hospital at St. Paul's Hall, Wanganui, broke a warrant officer's teeth and blackened a doctor's eye, according to a statement by the police in the Magistrate's Court, Wanganui. The patient was about to be discharged, but will now spend two months in »aol. German Pills Effective. Amo'ng the souvenirs of the Battle of Crete brought back by a Christchurch soldier is a small bottle ol stimulative pills that he took from the body of a dead German parachutist. At a gathering last week one of his friends insisted on taking a pill to try its effects. For the rest of the evening the experimenter was "The life of the party," "a ball of muscle," "a box of birds," and everything else expressive of vim and energy. He himself declared that he felt absolutely reinvigorated and ready and able to fight Joe Louis with one hand tied behind his back. NText morning, however, he confessed to "the father of all hand-overs."

Some Capacity—Eggs-actly,

Everyone Avill agree—even those few "wlio do not indulge that for a popular breakfast dish a "couple sunny-side up" accompanied by a rasher or two of bacon and perhaps a round or so of toast liberally spread with Rangitaiki butter heads the list. Most people like it, but one farm hand at least is tickled pink by it and doesn't stick at a couple. His employer met him on a recent morning and enquired if he had had i» good breakfast. The reply was "Yes thanks —I just enjoyed seven eggs!" The farmer was wondering W the man had someone scoring for him in case 1 he lost count. Which story brings to mind that if there is a. surplus in primary produce it will not be the fault of.the farmers of the Plains —they supjiort local industry and reward the effort of ouv feathered friends (hitherto illustrated) are h>rge consumers of Rangitaiki butte*-, and can make a side of bacon lool' silly in a small space of time. Not l«ng ago the factory store placed an order for bacon by letter. The magnitude of the order was so great that the firm telephoned thinking there had been an error. When informed that this was not so the Auckland distributors stated in amazement thai never before had they had such a large order from any retailer. "Just our usual we like it down here"! replied the store manager. A Question of Credulity. "It is wonderful the stories you ©an get a man to swallow so long as you make it impossible enough, ' said Mr Justice Blair, when discussing in the Auckland Supreme Court whether a witness could possibly have believed a very "tall" story that had been told to him. "I have seen some remarkable stories Swallowed," he said. There were hard-headed businessmen that you could not deceive about prices, because that was their jpb, but if you told them you knew a man who could dig a hole in the ground and get gold out of it they would piit all their money in it, said His Hon-, our. That was because they knew nothing about it.