ROUND ABOUT

Bay of Plenty Beacon, Volume 2, Issue 125, 19 February 1940, Page 5

ROUND ABOUT

(By Aitchel) I have to make it short and snappy this - week—no more than a column --because the Borough business is occupying a lot of space. The Borough would like to take up a bitmore room anyhow—just the Heads and the Pa. * * w « Incidentally it was rather an unusual and intriguing sight to see the Mayor in the witness-box. So many times has he seen and spoken gently with occupants thereof that I wonder how the reversal appealed. c * * » You may remember a very elementary geographical definition 7 which savs, quite definitely, "An -island is a piece of land entirely surrounded by water." Actual words used in the Commission's hearing of the City Father's petition the other clay were: "The Pa is entirely surrounded by Borough." Does that make the Pa an island or is the Borough all at sea? '« * * » • There is rather a long story about the co-incidence of which I will tell you. One of our residents (I am not allowed to divulge his name, but he lives in L St.) had occasion to make some jam whilst his wife was away on fui-lough. He followed the Cookery Book to the letter, even to the extent of putting one halfcrown into the bottom of the pan to prevent burning. Well, what happened? The jam was burned, as you so correctly assumed, and so was the coin. It took a cold chisel to free it from the copper. And believe it or not. as Comrade Ripley puts it, after passing off that worthless 'wheel' to an old blind lady, our friend the resident' himself received it .in change when paying the butcher a fortnight later. m * » m "Is the Park that strip of grass?".' asked the Chairman of the Commission on Wednesday. No Civic blushes were noted but the question and the voice were not fair. What of the concrete coping? Did he not see the bathing-sheds? And the shrubs? Was not the expanse of beautiful golden sand sufficiently outstanding that day? It was distinctly vjnfair! "That strip of grass" indeed! •»w - « A police surgeon in Philadelphia says a man is sober if he is able to say "Susie sat in the soup."' The one we wonder about is Susie. c#, * » The shortage of eggs in Germany has at last been made good by a Stuttgart chemist, who has discovered an excellent egg substitute made from albumen extracted from fish. The shortage of fish in Germany has at last been made good by a Heidelberg chejnist, who has discovered an efficient fish substitute made from cellulose extracted from old opera hats. And so now you have the secret of how. conjurors get eggs out of opera hats. Next time you see one on the stage in Whakatane just sneer. * * * * The battered figure of our old friend "National Patriotic I'Unds and Provincial Funds," 1 more familarly known by the shorter'title of "Patriotic Funds," staggered through another round at the Borough Council meeting on Monday night. The punishment inflicted was extremely light, however and Pat Fund, as he is known among his better acquaintances, should be in good shape for his next engagement. ' « * * « One Councillor said, apropos street meetings, that should pacifists invade the Whakatane realm he would be in the front line to throw them into the sea. The fact that a pacifist will not fight "evidently did not occur to him. To throw such a person into the sea or anywhere else (including gaol) would be rather unsportsmanlike. What would be more interesting is a debate. Is it too much to expect?