ROUND ABOUT

Bay of Plenty Beacon, Volume 2, Issue 122, 12 February 1940, Page 5

ROUND ABOUT

(By Aitchel) There are two kinds of pedestrians —the quick and the dead. • • ...• Do yon remember that last week I said something about, "Leap Year —Spring to it, Girls"? Well, I would like to quote another's idea of the subject. This is what a contemporary says: This, ladies, is Leap Year. Doubtless there are some among you who would capitalise on this infrequent even t. If you could. JiU t you can't. * 9 * » In every way you are weaker than so long as you do not- twist that argument to say that in such weakness lies your strength. As you could, and do, but without much effect. * fj, 9 * Centuries of breeding along this sort of line have left their mark upon you, in spit:e of the Bloomer Brigade and Mrs Pankhurst. Whenever a .man starts to argue with you, forgetting momentarily that there is no room in such small heads for so large a tiling as logic, you defend your sex by pointing to such examples as Boadicea, Cleopatra, and a few insignificant others. No doubt they did very well in their own line, but you know very well that wasn't much and if it was, they were the only ones who did. • SK * « , Every man, on the other hand,.' has the potentialities of a Caesar, a Napoleon, an Alexander, a Chamberlain, a Belisha, even a Churchill. He- can grow eyebrows quite beyond your hopes, and has never seen the need to pluck them to make his' face jpeem vacant. He is not afraitl of wrinkles (as you must be, lest you incur his displ'easure); so he can frown, and look mighty line and angry when he needs. He car* grumble and rumble in his speeches, but if any one of you had half the voice of a fifty per cent tub-thump-er you would hate it* because it would not please him so to be imitated. You are not therefore able to equal him in feeding the muTtitude on lies, innuendos, libels, and the other such of ultimate success. No,, you are at a disadvantage. * sjc n» »

And then there is a certain chap and another certain chap. The first fellow is a resident of Wliakatane and is Iwell known by a nickname which sounds as though he has been associated with the Public Works at some time. Something to do with machinery. No, it's not a 'grab.' Sufficient to Say that) an evening at Ohope was helped along, considerably by quantities of Waipiro ami gin and at 2.30 a.m. the Whakatane man decided that he must try a moonlight bafthe. He was accompanied by his host. The beach was not crowded at that hour so a loincloth fashioned from a towel was; sufficient to comply with earlymorning bathing regulations. The cooling waves proved to be not cooling enough for. our hotheaded comrade with the P.W. nickname and on returning to the beach he insisted on a wrestling match witih his companion. Incidentally it is necessary mention that the former wears glasses and he lost them. His host had had enough and was I feeling sleepy by that time so lie went home. An hour later his bathing partner had not returned and a search was instituted, as the police say. Various l residents of Ohope Beach, were dragged out of bed and enrolled in the search party, which patrolled the beach with the everincreasing fear of a drowning fatality in their minds until the misty 1 dawn broke. Then it was that the truant was discovered asleep in his host's carclad in his towel. * * * • . Come* little Nazi> blow up your horn, Destroyed are the meadows, gone is the corn. Where is the little boy who killed all the sheep? Back in his armoured car —fast asleep. • m « » And one of the prize stories concerns the Whakatane recruit who was being attested for service. The officer supervising the filling in of the form asked about religion, because such things have to be told*. The recruit said he had no particu- . lar religion but was informed that something had to be written in the space provided. "What religion were your par-, ents?" (Continued foot previous column^